The leader of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is apparently not a fan of Paul the Psychic Octopus (emphasis mine):
He claims that the octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies”.
Paul, who lives at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, in Germany, won the hearts of the Spanish by predicting their World Cup victory.
He became an international star after predicting the outcome of all seven German World Cup matches accurately.
However, the Iranian president accused the octopus of spreading “western propaganda and superstition.” Paul was mentioned by Mr Ahmadinejad on various occasions during a speech in Tehran at the weekend.
“Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values,” he said.
Wait, remind me again which country it was that had a cleric saying immodestly dressed women caused earthquakes? Oh, right, Iran. I mean, I was also a bit annoyed how the media popularized something superstitious like Paul, but I’m a bit annoyed at all superstitions. Apparently Ahmadinejad’s thinking goes something more like:
Psychic octopus predicting World Cup winners = propaganda, superstition, decadence, and decay
Women causing murderous natural disasters because they dare to show their hair or ankle = human perfection
Right.
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LS says
But don’t you see? It’s a sacred value which leads us to human perfection to recognize that women cause natural disasters by the shape and cut of their clothing. But everybody knows that psychic octopi don’t give a shit about football.
wildmonky says
The problem with those that believe any superstition at all is they can compartmentalize different ones. Theirs are real, while others are absurd. Humanity has too many things that we evolved in the past that no longer apply. The big ones, I think are superstitions and the fact that we are not “designed” to be as sedentary as we’ve become.
Oobzie says
No it makes total sense. Octopodes themselves are a sign of decadence because they have so many legs. They don’t need that many! They are by their very nature an abherration! To imply that their abilities rival that of the boob priest? Blasphemy I say.
Kevin Jones says
What else can be said? Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is only one step lower on the crazy scale than Kim Jong Il. I just hope, for the sake of the people of Iran, they are able to overthrow those jack holes sometime in the near future.
Skywalker says
What about octopus tentacle porn that involves women wearing immodest clothing? We should send some to Ahmadinejad so he can develop an informed opinion.
Barbara says
Er, I don’t want to spoil the fun of criticizing Iran, but honestly. Of course, “western propaganda” is kinda far-fetched (and very typical of Ahmadinejad), but as for the supposed contradiction, I’m sorry to break it to you, but Iran is not a multi-headed monster of a single opinion. Ahmadinejad and the cleric who talked about boobs and earthquakes are two different people, and so they may have different opinions, which may be in contradiction with each other. I mean, would it make sense to you if I said “oh America, the irony” because Pat Robertson says one thing and Blag Hag another? Or because she protested more loudly against what that Iranian cleric said than against some of the crap the televangelists keep saying?
Andie says
it’s… an octopus.
Oobzie says
While I agree that Ahmadinejad and the cleric are two different people, Ahmadinejad supported the cleric’s opinion and implicitly reflects a similar opinion here with the ‘nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection’ bit of his quote. By saying this, he manages to imply that other nations who believe in such superstitions aren’t capable of human perfection, human perfection (as an extrapolation of previous statements he’s made) including the value of modesty in terms of clothing. His conflicting opinions of superstition are what are being mocked here. The title, which includes the word “Iran,” and the statement “Oh, right, Iran” are meant to, not only speak on the same level as Ahmedinejad (and by that I mean globally), but simply enhance the hypocricy of Ahmedinejad’s statement.
Calilasseia says
And this is an impediment to shining the critical spotlight on batshit insanity *how*, precisely?
Tkpruitt says
Everybody is missing one important and highly relevant feature of this issue/discussion/whateveritis: Paul didn’t predict the outcome of the soccer games, he CAUSED them.
Stephen says
There is no World Cup but the World Cup and Paul the Octopus is its prophet, peace be upon his holy cephalopod arms. Amen. May the blasphemous infidel who rejects His divinity be smitten by a thousand suction cups. Amen.
NotThatGreg says
Paul the Octopus made two opposite ‘predictions’ of each game, producing multiple quantum world streams in the process — the equivalent of a coin toss. But he is capable of destroying post factum any fork of the universe in which his prediction was not correct. Therefore he appears to have been able to predict the future; but in fact was only able to destroy the past (which is often nearly equivalent). We thus have a strong observer bias: observers in universes where Paul was wrong have been annihilated. Either that, or he liked yellow a lot.
Anaayala says
Anyone is free to believe in what they want. But… do you think someone really believes in an octopuss? I´m Spanish and though I don´t like football, I´m glad that my country has won the World Cup, but I do agree with you Andy: it´s just an octopuss
the_Siliconopolitan says
I wonder what he woulda said, had Iran faired better in the World Cup.
Jeric_synergy says
Octopi are a symbol of decadence?I got my new tatoo. (And shoulder patch.)
Candywilson14 says
I think they need some heavy drugs. Lithium perhaps……
Arancaytar says
Yeah, the decadent western culture really is way too superstitious. Like that dude who said cleavage caused earthquakes. Who was that again?If anything, Paul is a spy sent to infiltrate human society in preparation for the squid revolution. Cthulhu fhtagn!
Tom Baxter says
Soon our rational leaders will bring peace, truth and justice to Iran as they brought to the Iraqis and our forefathers to the terrorist superstitious savages that stood in the way of our Manifest Destiny and Israel recently brought to the people of Gaza.
Gerrit Brouwer says
didn’t Hitler say something about human perfection too?
Thomas W says
I can see the difference between the two. The octopus predicting the games has no moral context, and is criticized by Iran as superstition (though very few people treat this as anything more than an amusing anecdote).Women wearing western dress is an offense against God (per Iran’s interpretation of Islam), thus God is punishing mankind.Of course, it really boils down to “how can we criticize the West today?”).
LS says
GODWIN!
Marek Atheist says
Iranian leader is so full of himself. I wonder if it is even possible for another human being to put his head so far up one’s ass (or the clergy’s men asses for that matter, because Iranian president is not even a real leader of his own country, the shamans of his superstitious religion are).
Andrew Hall says
Religions need to keep their goddies busy! Today it’s the octopus, tomorrow a demonic clam. http://laughinginpurgatory.blo…
Timyang19 says
Let me get this straight – Mahmoud is saying that this this octopus is spreading superstition, and in the same statement says that those stupid enough to believe such nonsense should step down as leaders?if we follow his logic, shouldn’t he resign from his presidency?Logic fail.
Stevebu says
I wonder if the octopus also predicted that three or four countries would soon be bombing the heck out of Iran?
Azkyroth says
And isn’t it Iranic…don’t you think?
Introbulus says
That must be the saddest Octopus ever then. To have psychic powers, and the ONLY thing he can predict is which team is going to win the world cup. ;-; Poor Octopus. I need to give him a present. Quick, what do Octopi like?
Introbulus says
That would probably cause his head to explode. I am in favor of this plan.
Introbulus says
Are you SURE it’s an octopus? It could be in disguise!
Introbulus says
Curses! Now we have to start all over. It also doesn’t help that the Octopus was from Germany. We should have known this would happen.
Introbulus says
Who else thinks that Paul is utterly adorable? Seriously, I have never wanted to hug an octopus as much as I want to hug Paul. No, not even Admiral Akbar.
BeamStalk says
Is it time for squidquake?
LS says
Pens, and drum sets.
Holytape says
Just feel lucky that Paul the psychic octopus has neither hair, ankles or cleavage. Image the damage caused by eight exposed ankles….. I shudder to think about it..
Conspyre says
I was just about to ask what happens if an octopus were to dress immodestly- not to mention what exactly that entails for said 8 leggedy beastie.
Chris says
skorts are right out.
Introbulus says
Wouldn’t the ink run terribly underwater? I was thinking maybe a nice cache of clams…
Introbulus says
Octopi are already naked. If they dressed at all, it would greatly reduce the number of earthquakes in the world.
LS says
So wait…if we put clothes on ALL the animals everywhere……we would live in a perfect world!We need to get to work on this.
LS says
It could also be…a DECOY octopus! =O
kendermouse says
He’s accusing a fricking fortune-telling octopus of spreading propoganda? Seriously? …stupidity makes my head ache.
Introbulus says
! *Cue chase music*
Introbulus says
No, you would just eliminate all the Earthquakes in the world. I’m sure there is a drawback to this, but not being a Seismologist, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be. Probably something to do with Geothermal Energy.
SteveF says
Which rational leaders are you referring to? Last time I looked, our government was stocked full of superstitious myth-mongering Luddites, not rational thinkers.