Dear daughter,
As daddy and I waited to welcome you into the world, we spent a lot of time thinking about how to raise a little girl. We wanted you to grow up to be strong and independent. Did that mean we should steer you away from traditional “girly” things? We weren’t sure.
Eight months into the pregnancy, Pop-Pop and Grandma threw us a baby shower. Everybody loves to buy adorable little baby clothes when they go to baby showers, however, I asked everyone to stay away from pink. Daddy and I were going to do everything gender-neutral. Your room was an “under the sea” theme and we wanted to dress you in yellow, green, and purple. (No pink.)
Gender-neutral is surprisingly hard to pull off in America, but we did our best. However, it wasn’t going to last.
Things changed a couple of years down the road. As soon as you learned your colors, you knew you loved pink. Shit! Really kid? How did this happen?
As soon as you could walk in the store, we let you pick out your own clothes. You wanted pink everything. There were many days that you were dressed from head to toe in pink.
Three years later and nothing has changed. Your clothes are pink. Your shoes are pink. Your bed is pink. You come into mommy and daddy’s room and steal mommy’s pink jewelry and hair things. Everything is pink.
I’ve caught hell for it. “You shouldn’t dress your little girl in pink every day.” The thing is, I didn’t dress you. You picked out your own clothes and dressed yourself.
So I started to think, is pink really that bad? It’s your favorite color and it was never forced on you. It’s just something you like.
I’m learning, daughter. Pink isn’t bad — it’s just another color.
On June 18th, 2021, you graduated from preschool. Your graduation was a special event, but you refused to wear a dress. Instead, you wore a pink shirt with a doggie on it, gray leggings, and pink unicorn snow boots — and you looked absolutely adorable!
So now I say, as long as you are comfortable and your clothes make you happy — wear whatever the fuck you want. That’s all that matters.
I hope you remember this if you decide to become a parent one day.
Love,
Mom
As an adult woman, when I look for clothes or shoes, far too many are pink, purple, and/or sparkly. Men’s clothes are burnt orange or olive green. I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, in the Free-to-Be-You-and-Me era where it was possible to buy children’s clothes that worked for either girls or boys.