Couch Gag.

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Bill Plympton’s instantly-recognizable mix of naïveté and rule-breaking will greet viewers of The Simpsons‘ 613th episode, “22 for 30.” The Oscar-nominated indie animator behind I Married a Strange Person! (1997), Mutant Aliens (2001), and Cheatin’ (2014) returns to Matt Groening’s juggernaut sitcom for the fifth time on March 12, delivering a meta love letter to animation that breaks the fourth, and kicks it while it’s down.

It’s great to see Plympton again, but a word of warning, don’t get carried along too much by charm of this particular couch scene, it has a rather unexpected ending. (If you’ve ever stabbed yourself with a pencil, might want to skip it all together.)

The Creators Project has the full story.

The Possession of President Trump.

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ERBIL, Kurdistan Region — A Kurdish healer who claims to draw his knowledge and powers from God says that US President Donald Trump is possessed and unless he is cured he will either go insane or be killed before finishing his first term in office.

[…]

“Trump is possessed and I need to beat him on the soles of his feet to get the jinni out of his body,” Mala Ali told Rudaw in an interview. “He has lost his mind and oversteps his boundaries all the time. He needs help. Unless he is cured he will continue to act like he does now.”

He predicts meanwhile that Trump will not finish his first term as president and that “he will either go insane or be killed. He has become a creature that attacks everyone.”

Uh oh. That point was reached, and sustained during his campaign.

“I keep saying it but no one is listening to me. A huge number of jinnis have come to Iraq’s sky. Even Lucifer himself is among them and I’ve heard this from the spirits themselves. Jinnis have occupied all of Iraq and Syria and the situation could only get worse,” Mala Ali said.

“Most Iraqi MPs and ministers are possessed and they have come to me and I have thrashed them.

Mala Ali may be onto something here. Oh, not his grandiose claims to be able to heal anything under the sun, that’s bullshit of course, and dangerous bullshit at that. However, if people were given the opportunity to thrash all our so-called leaders, it would no doubt have a healthily cathartic effect.

Via Rudaw.

Really?

White House Director of Oval Office Operations Keith Schiller carries a red USA hat and a copy of Fortune magazine with President Trump on the cover as he and Communications Director Sean Spicer deplane from Air Force One yesterday. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst.

White House Director of Oval Office Operations Keith Schiller carries a red USA hat and a copy of Fortune magazine with President Trump on the cover as he and Communications Director Sean Spicer deplane from Air Force One yesterday. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst.

I was reading yet another article about leakiness, but got completely distracted by that photo. Specifically, by the lining of Spicer’s jacket. I know it gets routinely ignored, and rightly so in my opinion, but there is a law about using the flag as an article of clothing. Yeah, yeah, it’s probably just a flag type printed fabric, but it’s certainly meant to give the impression of the ‘merican flag. I…uh, is this like Mormon undies, or secretly wearing silk undergarments to give you that special feeling? It’s definitely ostentatious, and I don’t think it’s going to help with anyone even trying to take Spicer seriously, which is already a difficult enough task. A bloody impossible one now. Are the stars on a field of blue his boxer shorts as well as his tie? Okay, yeah, I’ll stop.

Pasilalinic-sympathetic Compass.

Escargots. Jacques Collin de Plancy - Dictionnaire infernal.

Escargots. Jacques Collin de Plancy – Dictionnaire infernal.

I’m being much too distracted by the Dictionnaire Infernal right now. How did I not know about the Snail Telegraph? The original text from Dictionnaire Infernal:

Escargots. On ne voit nulle part que ces honnêtes créatures aient jamais figuré au sabbat. Mais il paraît qu’elles ont aussi leur côté mystérieux, et qu’elles pourraient, quand les études dont s’occupent les savants auront abouti, faire concurrence au télégraphe électrique. On a donc proposé en 1850 un procédé qui se mûrit, c’est la boussole pasilalinique-sympathique. Si vous trouvez ce nom bizarre, l’agent de cette boussole ne l’est pas moins ; c’est l’escargot. Deux amis séparés par de grandes distances se seront munis chacun d’un escargot de même espèce, les auront magnétisés ensemble pour établir la sympathie ; puis l’ami resté à Paris chargera son escargots des nouvelles qu’il veut transmettre à son ami installé à Pékin, et ce dernier répondra de la même manière ; par quels moyens faciles ? nous l’ignorons ; mais en mars de la présente année, les journaux disaient qu’on était à la veille de résultats satisfaisants, et les spiriles affirment que cette découverte se rattache à ce que nos pères appelaient la magie naturelle. Un Américain prétend même que les escargots magnétisés parleront, ou bien un esprit, de ceux qui tiennent aux tables, pourra parler pour eux.

One Massive Trichobezoar.

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Via Atlas Obscura.

People with cats, rejoice they aren’t cows. Pictured above is a massive hairball, from a cow.

Situated at the entrance to the equally enjoyable Lee Richardson Zoo, the Finney County Historical Museum is a quaint museum that tells the history of Southwestern Kansas. It also tastefully displays the World’s Largest Hairball atop a brass spittoon.

Removed from the stomach of a cow that was processed in a nearby packing house, this mammoth trichobezoar was nearly 40 inches in circumference and was said to have weighed 55 pounds wet when first removed. Though smaller and drier now, it’s still a very impressive sight. Visitors are free to lightly touch the ball (it feels like a velvet basketball) but signage politely reminds them not to pick it up.

Via Atlas Obscura. All I can say is that cow must have been a mad groomer.

A Fitting Trump Logo and Two Border Walls.

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© Tucker Viemeister.

American industrial designer Tucker Viemeister has designed a logo for Donald Trump based on Nazi insignia to reflect the billionaire’s “racist hate mongering”.

The logo, featuring a tilting letter T inside a white circle on a red background, resembles the swastika symbol used by the Nazis.

Viemeister created the logo in April last year, before Trump became the Republican party’s official presidential nominee, posting it on Twitter along with the words “I hope they [Trump’s supporters] don’t like it!”

He also published the design on his website with a short statement that says: “Design can show what bad things have in common, like this logo I created for Trump’s campaign of bigotry and violence.”

Following Trump’s inauguration as president and his introduction last weekend of the controversial executive order banning people from seven Muslim-majority countries entry to the United States, Viemeister said the logo had new and sinister relevance.

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“Obviously the logo is a spin on the Nazi insignia because there is a correlation between Trump’s racist hate mongering and the Nazis,” he told Dezeen.

“I’m worried that his followers will adapt it for the very opposite reasons I made it,” he continued. “They might like that connection with those white power fascists.”

“I wish I could make something that would help those followers become more inclusive and tolerant so that we can all work together to solve the issues that we all confront.”

Via Dezeen. Tucker Viemeister’s site. Moving on to the fabulous IKEA border wall! Simple! Inexpensive! Can be put together with one hex key! Only two people required!

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Washington (dpo) – “Too expensive!” “Too complicated!” “Unrealistic!” – This is the sort of criticism US President Donald Trump is currently facing over plans to build a wall along the border with Mexico. An offer from home furnishings brand, IKEA, could solve all of these problems with a single blow.

The Scandinavian furniture maker has offered the USA a practical, ready-made solution with “Börder Wåll”. All they need to do is pick it up in a van from the nearest IKEA branch and put it up where they want it to go. Totalling US $9,999,999,999.99, “Börder Wåll” is significantly cheaper than a conventional wall. Estimates suggest that a conventional wall would cost between US $15 and $25 billion.

According to government press secretary, Sean Spicer, President Trump is currently inspecting the offer:

TrumpKatalog

The simple, Scandinavian designed border wall (with a 5 year guarantee) is primarily made of pressboard with a birch effect and can be assembled with the help of a hex key. A 12,000 page instruction manual with easy-to-understand pictures makes construction child’s play – as long as there is not a single screw missing.
“However, assembly requires two people: one person can hold the wall while the second screws it together”, it states in IKEA’s offer.
The basic model of the wall is 33ft (10 m) tall and 1,954 miles (3,144 km) long, although the height and length can be extended as desired.
IKEA has already announced that it will design other products in the next few weeks that will be compatible with “Börder Wåll”. According to inside sources, this includes products such as the “Gåwk” watchtower and the “Råtåtåtåtåtå” spring-gun.

Via Postillon. German version here. (No, this is not for real. There’s no Ikea border wall, okay?)

Then there’s the wonder of The Pink Wall:

Mexican firm Estudio 3.14 has visualised the “gorgeous perversity” of US presidential candidate Donald Trump’s plan to build a wall along the countries’ border.

In response to the controversial proposal, a group of interns at the Guadalajara-based studio came up with a conceptual design that would celebrate Mexico’s architectural heritage.

 

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The giant solid barrier would run 1,954 miles (3,145 kilometres) uninterrupted from the Pacific coast to the Gulf of Mexico, and be painted bright pink in the spirit of the 20th-century buildings by Pritzker Prize-winning Mexican architect Luis Barragán.

“Because the wall has to be beautiful, it has been inspired in by Luis Barragán’s pink walls that are emblematic of Mexico,” said the studio. “It also takes advantage of the tradition in architecture of megalomaniac wall building.”

Estudio 3.14‘s Prison-Wall project – developed in collaboration with the Mamertine Corporation of the United States – was undertaken to “allow the public to imagine the policy proposal in all of its gorgeous perversity”.

Visuals show the barrier traversing hills, desert, a river, and the border city Tijuana. The structure would also incorporate a prison to detain those attempting to cross into the US.

“Moreover, the wall is not only a wall,” said Estudio 3.14. “It is a prison where 11 million undocumented people will be processed, classified, indoctrinated, and/or deported.”

The team suggests that the wall could employ up to six million personnel. It could also incorporate shopping centre straddling its width, and a viewpoint from which US citizens could climb up and look down onto the other side.

A series of graphics to accompany the proposal range from posters calling for workers, to US currency emblazoned with the wall’s pink trail.

Via Dezeen. Estudio 3.14.

Diableries.

From a group of 11 tissue-stereo views of Satan (1860s–70s) (all images courtesy Swann tiontion Galleries).

From a group of 11 tissue-stereo views of Satan (1860s–70s) (all images courtesy Swann tiontion Galleries).

Hyperallergic has a great story on some 19th century stereoviews, some of which will soon be up at auction. Hell doesn’t look so bad, rather playful!

As one group of 19th-century French artists envisioned it, hell was no desolate destination for the damned. Rather, it hosted boating races, witnessed parties with a “live” band, and even boasted a lavish boudoir for one “Madame Satan.” Such are the scenes they depicted in their series of humorous stereoviews produced in the 1860s that capture a vibrant underworld of devils, skeletons, and satyrs, each carefully hand-colored so the frozen figures came alive with glowing red eyes.

Titled Diableries, the series was published primarily by Frenchmen François Benjamin Lamiche and Adolphe Block, as told in a publication, also called Diableries, that chronicles the works’ history. Unlike most stereoviews, these images married sculpture and photography: sculptors (unidentified on the images) would craft small dioramas from clay that would then be photographed and printed on albumen paper. The artists then applied watercolors to the fragile prints, added a layer of backing tissue, and inserted the prints into cut-out windows of two cardboard frames. The tissue stereocards, therefore, offer two views: when seen with light hitting only their front sides, their images seem black-and-white; but when illuminated from the back, colors appear to render hell in vivid visions. The artists would also pin prick sections of the images and apply color to these markings so light passing through the holes would highlight details on costumes or settings, even making them sparkle slightly.

A full set had dozens of individually captioned scenes, guaranteed to provide viewers with a unique form of entertainment in 3D when placed on a stereoviewer. Stereoviews were highly popular in the 19th century, but the Diableries would have certainly stuck out from many other sets: collections of travel photos, artworks, and religious pageantry have quite a different tone from these scenes of skeletons riding bicycles, playing instruments in a bony band, and dancing in flouncy dresses.

[…]

Swann Auction Galleries is selling 11 cards (est. $600–900) as part of its forthcoming sale “Icons & images: Photographs & Photobooks.” A couple of these scenes show hell as you may expect it: in one, winged demons poke weapons at skeletons crowded in a massive cauldron while wide-eyed monsters gawk from dark corners; another shows the entrance to hell, governed by a three-headed beast and monsters holding pitchforks. Humor, however, is the clear, reigning mood in these Diableries: a sign above the beast in that latter image reads, “Speak to the concierge”; there’s also a skeleton lifting his top hat to a guard while a woman in the corner offers water for passersby to refresh themselves.

Much more to see and read at Hyperallergic.

Don’t Call It Fashion.

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Raw Meat, Cabbage, Moldy Bread, and other things that have inspired Japanese fashion label CUNE.

Don’t call it fashion. At least that’s what Hironori Yasuda will tell you if you ask him about his label CUNE, which he started in 1994. If anything, they’re “barely clothes,” he says.

Yasuda isn’t swayed by trends. He makes what he wants, and each season he picks a seemingly arbitrary theme, one that typically has no place in the world of fashion, and designs his entire collection around it. He doesn’t think about who would wear his clothes, or how they would wear them. In fact, he even says “you don’t have to buy them.” But with two stores in Tokyo, one in Fukuoka and a thriving online shop, people seem to like his bizarre creations.

You really need to click over and see all the stuff, it’s amazing. I love the red cabbage dress, and I’d buy it in a heartbeat. Same with the meat jacket pictured above.

It’s all at Spoon & Tamago.

Just The Facts, Ma’am.

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Handy dandy help for everyone, from FactCheck.org – How to spot fake news. An article to bookmark and refer to when needed, and I imagine it might be needed a lot in the coming years.

…Those all still hold true, but fake stories — as in, completely made-up “news” — has grown more sophisticated, often presented on a site designed to look (sort of) like a legitimate news organization. Still, we find it’s easy to figure out what’s real and what’s imaginary if you’re armed with some critical thinking and fact-checking tools of the trade.

Here’s our advice on how to spot a fake:

Good, solid advice. Click on over to read the whole article.

And, here’s a good way to sharpen up those bullshit detection skills, learning that correlation does not imply causation. While most people know this, at least hazily so, that’s one fact that tends to get kicked out in favour of “hmmm, that’s interesting, ennit?” and “that’s some coincidence!” and so forth. We’re all prone to veering off into the more magical type of thinking, and the correlation/causation bit is an oft used trick to manipulate people. Being much smarter than that, of course you want to make sure you don’t fall for such shit. Head on over to Tyler Vigen’s Spurious Correlations, and you can enjoy learning all about it. Spurious Correlations is now a ridiculous and wonderful book, and I highly recommend it.

Okay…Inauguration Roundup.

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© Laura Racero.

Oh, where to start. I guess we’ll start with “Hey, look, a tiny, Bane-full inauguration!

(Photo: Wikipedia commons and screen capture).

(Photo: Wikipedia commons and screen capture).

For all the boasting about the bigliest ever, the crowds at Trump’s inauguration were woefully scant. The Twitternet jumped all over this immediately, and you can see many of the tweets here. Also noted by the Twitternet, and most everyone else on the planet, Trump borrowed a bit of his speech from a fictional villain, which is terribly apropos, but he picked the wrong villain, Bane. Bane was more of a “eat the rich!” kind of villain. That didn’t stop Trump:

Fans of the Batman franchise film The Dark Knight Rises were startled to hear the words of the movie villain Bane coming out of Republican Pres. Donald Trump’s mouth as he made his inaugural address — purportedly written by Trump himself — on Friday.

“We’re giving the power back to you. The people,” Trump said Friday, a nearly verbatim quote from Christopher and Jonathan Nolan’s screenplay for the 2012 film starring Christian Bale as Batman and Tom Hardy as Bane.

You can read all about this one, and see some of the tweets here.

The Twitternet also broke out in gales of laughter and comparisons over Kellyanne Conway’s outfit:

Kellyanne Conway attends President Trump's inauguration (Screen cap).

Kellyanne Conway attends President Trump’s inauguration (Screen cap).

Conway’s outfit, which TMZ claims she describes as “Trump Revolutionary Wear,” is a red-white-and-blue getup that is meant to be somewhat reminiscent of Revolutionary War-era military uniforms.

CNN’s Hunter Schwarz notes that her coat is actually a $3,600 Gucci wool a-line coat — and CNN’s Kate Bennett writes that the coat was originally designed to pay tribute to the city of London, which isn’t exactly a place to celebrate the American Revolution.

You can read all about that, and see tweets here. Oh, and the buttons on it are cat heads.

Then there’s a compilation of all the things that didn’t happen, didn’t come through, and weren’t bigly at all:

Women’s March bus permit requests outnumber inauguration requests by 3 times.

Most hotel bookings have been made by anti-Trump protesters.

Trump is wrong (again): dress shops still have plenty of available frocks.

“There’s never been less demand for inaugural ballgowns in my 38 years,” Peter Marx, who owns D.C. dress shop Saks Jandel, told People. “Never ever has it been less for the inaugural.”

Other shops expressed similar sentiments.

“We were expecting heavy traffic and it has not been that way,” a D.C. Bloomingdale’s representative told Elle. “The last inauguration was a lot more people shopping.”

A spokesperson from Intermix told the outlet, “Usually, it is really big for us, but this year we haven’t seen anything yet, surprisingly.”

Elle notes that “among others we called, White House Black Market and Cusp in Georgetown confirmed they have options in stock. So does Neiman Marcus. And Gucci. And Lord & Taylor. And Nordstrom.”

There’s more here.

And there were artists out, as well as all the marchers and protesters. FORCE put on a big show:

CREDIT: Nate Larson.

CREDIT: Nate Larson.

…For roughly 45 minutes, a slideshow of photos and quotes from survivors circulated on the front of the building, as passersby stopped to take it in. The organizers of the installation hoped their message reached at least a few visitors here for Trump’s inauguration.

“As a native woman, as a queer woman, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and intimate parter violence, there’s so much that is traumatic about seeing my country support somebody that represents violence against all of those things,” said Rebecca Nagle, a co-director of FORCE. “The racism and the misogyny that [Trump] represents is bigger than just him as a person and a figurehead, but is something that is deeply embedded in American culture.”

Many victims of sexual assault were particularly traumatized by the election of Donald Trump, who bragged on tape about sexually abusing woman. Now, as he prepares to enter the White House, there are already signs that Trump won’t pursue policies aimed at preventing sexual violence. As part of his proposed plan to reduce government spending, Trump administration officials reportedly approached the Department of Justice with a plan to eliminate the federal grants used to combat violence against women.

“The goal of the piece is really to uplift survivors voices at a time that a lot of people are normalizing Trump’s behavior,” said Nagle.

Full story at Think Progress. A great work by FORCE!

And because there’s always bad news:

President Donald Trump’s whitehouse.gov page omitted references to a number of policy issues championed by his predecessor, including climate change, civil rights and healthcare, providing a blueprint for the new administration’s priorities over the next four years.

Full story here.