No, not that kind of angel dust. This would be Jehovah blessed, gold dust, from angels. Angel dandruff. Whatever it might be, it’s got Lance Wallnau all kinds of high, as he descends further into the well of weirdness. Naturally, the angeldruff is gold, what better colour for money-grubbing members of the Religious Reich?
Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page yesterday recounting a meeting he had just attended that had such a strong presence of the Lord that he left literally covered in angelic gold dust.
Wallnau said he had recently joined with several “Seven Mountains” activists in Bend, Oregon, at a meeting where “I literally could feel the rush of God in the room, the hair stood up right on the back of your neck.”
On top of that, Wallnau said he also kept “getting this gold dust and glitter on my face” because of the presence of angels.
“That stuff is real,” he said. “It’s like angels were in the room.”
So, gold glitter is real. Yeah, that’s not news. Glitter is one of the most evil things on the planet, y’know. Can’t get rid of it. Years later, you’ll still be picking bits of glitter out of wherever. If Jehovah is a glitter peddler, oh, that’s bad news, dude. So, it was like angels were in the room, or angels were in the room? Because there are lots of stories about fairy dust and pixie dust, and so on. Could have been socialist pixies droppin’ the glitter bomb on you, Lance. Never know. Probably should track those ‘angels’ down and interrogate them.
These angels are on assignment to take control of the media for Jesus, Wallnau said, which is why “the New York Times and CNN [are] in such deep doo-doo and what’s happening with Hollywood and Johnny Depp and Bill Maher and all the big mouths and the crazies as they’re running their mouths; God is literally taking the wheels off of the chariot of pharaoh as he’s trying to persecute what God is doing” through President Trump.
I kinda think it’s your god emperor Trump who is in “deep doo-doo”. I will grant you the crazies are running their mouths, you fellas in the Religious Reich seem to be utterly incapable of shutting up, even when the slightest reflection would tell you yeah, maybe I should keep that to myself. So all of media, from journalism to television/movies to idiot preachers on the net, that’s pharaoh? Hmm. Do you really want to bring that up, Lance? Jehovah doesn’t have a good track record with chariots, seeing as they confounded him to the core. That brings us back to iron, which seems to have a nasty effect on your god. In many of the old stories about magical beings, iron is inimical to them. So, combined with the glitter, I’d say there’s a suspicion your god is some sort of evil elvish being. Don’t listen, Lance, the elves just want to play with you! I recommend reading Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett. Don’t worry, the witches are the good kind.
There’s video at the link for those who might want to watch. Via RWW.
Wallnau said he also kept “getting this gold dust and glitter on my face”
If you’re getting glitter-bombed then its not angels.
Really, you’d think angels would be more considerate about getting glitter in your face.
“I literally could feel the rush of God in the room, the hair stood up right on the back of your neck.”
Good meth, huh?
Really, you’d think angels would be more considerate about getting glitter in your face.
It kind of sounds like he was rubbing his face on strippers.
Marcus:
Hahahahahaha. Yeah, it does sound like that.
Also, that whole hair standing up business, that’s supposed to be a loud scream of ‘danger!’.
Marcus beat me to it. My first thought was that somebody should check the security footage of any strip clubs in proximity to Bend, Oregon for footage of Lance and his posse enjoying themselves in the presence of “angels”.
There’s loads of glitter at Pride parades. Everything gets covered in it. Buckets and buckets of the stuff.
And it’s definitely angel dust. I have photographic proof:
https://www.advocate.com/news/daily-news/2010/09/17/gaydar-angels-protest-popes-visit
Oooh, pretty angels! Well, at least I know what they look like now. :D
Can’t help being a science nerd: Was the angel dust actual gold (Au)? How pure was it? 24 karat? Or an alloy like 14 karat? Can I get a tiny sample to run through the mass spectrometer? I’m wondering whether the isotopic distribution is the same as typical terrestrial Au, or whether angels have access to special isotopically pure “heavenly” gold. Enquiring minds want to know!
Fools gold, turns to coal dust in the morning light.
Richard Blaine:
Excellent questions. Yes, I would like to know the answers to that myself.
Of course I should have checked first. Terrestrial Au is monoisotopic -- its nucleus with 79 protons and 118 neutrons is stable, while all other isotopes with different neutron counts are radioactive and decay with half lives measured in days. So we can’t check the angels on this point.
But purity could still be a point to probe the angels with. (Did I just say that?) And ordinary earth-borne copper or silver (the most common alloying metals for gold) have two abundant stable isotopes each.