Except sadly, Ryan isn’t joking. The esteemed steely-blue-eyed granny starver released his not-much anticipated budget today. It has lofty goals! Raise the standard of living for working class and poor families, increase economic growth, and reduce the deficit. Conservatives from all corners of the nation, many still cringing from the success of Obamacare, are bragging it does all this and more (So much more!) by … cutting taxes on zillionaires, slashing social safety net programs, taking health care away from about ten to twenty million people and robbing millions more of benefits, and deregulating everything from Wall Street to energy:

WaPo — Overall, Ryan would cut about $5.1 trillion from projected spending over the next decade, with nearly $3 trillion coming from repealing the health-care law and revamping Medicaid. Still, Ryan’s proposals fell short of balancing the budget, forcing him to resort to a vague promise of new revenue from “economic growth” to meet his goal of wiping out deficits by 2024.

Republican Jesus would be proud. That’ll do Paul, that’ll do.