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Mitt Romney squeaked by Rick Santorum by a whopping eight votes as of this morning to edge out a razor-edged win in the Iowa caucus. The former Massachusetts Governor and current serial flip-flopper will now take to the airwaves proclaiming the unbridled, unstoppable power of his Eight Vote Mandate By The People. Santorum meanwhile will be met with dozens of steely eyed advisers intent on convincing him he could actually win, mostly so that said steely eyed advisers can try to separate as much money from Anyone-but-Romney voters and divert it into their paychecks and expense accounts as they possibly can before the cruel ministrations of electoral reality set in.
Fourth place finisher Newt Gingrich with a measly 13% has already vowed to go negative on Romney — Newt, negative? Now that’s a stretch huh? Don’t bet on that by the way; if I were a cynical blogger I’d be thinking what Newt really intends is to shake down the Romney campaign for some quick easy cash and a favor or two and then quietly fade away. Rick Perry is taking his 10% and going back to Texas to “reassess,” Iowa homegirl Michelle Bachmann reportedly had an intervention orchestrated by her senior campaign staff last night after a meager 5% showing, and Huntsman holds steady at 1% yet again and, besides, who gives a shit about Huntsman?
And Ron Paul? Who the fuck knows what this guy will do. But a third-party run is unlikely, what is likely is another shakedown, because Ron Paul has loyal followers, ergo his endorsement would actually be worth something.
So in short, nothing much happened. It’s completely up in the air. And now the candidates, their revivalist tents, their temp offices, and their surrogates will end the brief, teasing relationship with Iowa and head the Granite State, New Hampshire, where we get to do it all over again next week on 10 Jan 2012. I’ll be there in virtual spirit, I hope you will be too.
I love how Gingrich vowed to go negative about five seconds after decrying negative campaigning. I’m surprised the cognitive dissonance didn’t cause his massive melon to explode.
Nah, you see, you know how Paladins get a class feature rendering them immune to fear? The Politician: Republican class gets Immunity to Repercussions (Cognitive Dissonance) at 2nd level.
2nd level Democrats get Immunity to Repercussions (Failing to Uphold Campaign Promises), which is almost as useful.
I always get confused between Rue Paul and Ron Paul.
Does this matter?
if I were a cynical blogger I’d be thinking what Newt really intends is to shake down the Romney campaign for some quick easy cash and a favor or two and then quietly fade away
Newt going negative on Romney is the favor. For a good-sized chunk of the Republican electorate, knowing that Newt doesn’t like another Republican is a pretty good endorsement in their favor…
what is likely is another shakedown, because Ron Paul has loyal followers, ergo his endorsement would actually be worth something.
When you said “shakedown” and “loyal followers” in the same breath, I didn’t think you were going to go to “endorsement”. I figure another “Money Bomb” is on the way for Ron Paul – to get some more of that green stuff he can stuff into that Congressionally-blessed retirement account that politicians call a “War Chest”. His endorsement is mostly meaningless because his voters will either vote for any Republican on the ticket if Paul isn’t there or won’t vote for a Republican anyway.
Yes, Willard Mitt Romney is the king of flip-floppers but don’t forget “Grinch” Gingrich who flip-flops with the worst of them.
Richardelguru:
Rue Paul is the amusing one, the other is an anarchist, bigot and an asshole, so yes, there is a difference.
I dunno if I agree that Paul’s endorsement isn’t important. I’m in Texas, and while I’m certainly no Ron Paul expert, I have quite a few friends who are Paul supporters and they seem pretty damn loyal. The kind of loyalty where they’d be more inclined to follow his reco on another candidate than generic voters.
I’d be pretty surprised if Paul endorsed another candidate. A large portion of his base would consider that ‘selling out’, which would make it very difficult for him to rake in the kind of cash he’s been getting lately in future election cycles.
The big winner in Iowa?
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.. Barack Obama! ;-)
– Joke shamelessly pinched from David Letterman.