Happpy 48th Birthday to me!

Wishing myself a very happy 48th Birthday on planet earth. This has not been the happiest of my birthdays as the past few months have been about healing from loss and fighting hard to not let the haters, who can’t stand BlackGirlMagic, silence my voice at work.

However, I am grateful for life, good health and prosperity. I am proud that in the face of adversities, my crown has not slipped, this queen is still standing strong and proud.

The past year has tested and reminded me of things that have kept me strong, happy and contented over the years. They are also things I will be taking into the next stage of my life. A few of these reminders are-

1- I am my own tribe and there is nothing wrong with this because j am enough.

2- Never sweat the small stuff, life is too short

3- When things gets tough, take a deep breath, adjust my crown and face life head high.

4- Never expect anything from anyone because the things I value most, compassion, empathy, loyalty and honesty, are the things humans find most difficult to give.

5- Continue to be myself wherever I go. My whole self is a gift to anyone lucky enough to be in my presence.

6- Never let the world change my smile or take away my joy. My life is mine to live, not for others to ruin.

7- Remember the loved ones I have lost with happiness because they live on in my heart .Therefore I must make my heart a happy place for them to be.

8- Family are those who love, respect and show me compassion. Never let blood determine who I call family or who stay in my life.

9- Hold my loved ones closer to my heart because the greatest gift of all is unconditional love.

10- Live. Love. Laugh today because tomorrow is never promised.

Thanks to everyone who has enriched my life one way or the other, may we all celebrate many more years of love, happiness and good health.

Christmas, Covid19 and Fatphobia.

Christmas 2020 was all about self-love and selfcare for me. It was a much needed body appreciation day.

With Covid19, working from home, closure of gyms, etc it is tiring to listen to people complain constantly about getting fat. Most often than not, the language used is very fatphobic. “Fat” is used as a dirty word as if getting fat is the worst thing ever!

People never stop to consider the effect of Fatphobia on the mental health of the majority of women and men who do not fit the stereotypes of beauty standards. It was time for me to switch off that societal judgemental voice confronting me from every angle especially since about 5 years ago, I lost almost half my body weight at the gym but gained it all back within the last year.

For me, I know I’m beautiful at whatever size or shape because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, gawd, how I behold myself! As the saying goes, the woman who does not require the validation of anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

In this fatphobic society, it is important to practice radical self-love. Love yourself so unconditionally and unapologetically that unsolicited opinions on your body does not matter or count. Your mental health will thank you for it.

Feeling festive and very thankfull for inner peace, contentment and the strenght to love myself unconditionally in a very judgmental society.

it has been a particularly tough year for many, but I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. Spending Xmas alone is not unusual for me. For me, the key is to find these things that make me happy and be self-indulgent. Dressing up just to take pics and dancing are two things that instantly lift mood. Find your happiness withing yourself; the hero lies in you.

Not everyone can have a happy holiday; it has been an especially sad year for some, with many lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that will not judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this holiday period, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will. Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and do not forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

This Xmas, I finally made the best Xmas Turkey ever! My Xmas turkey was so moist, succulent and so full of flavour, I almost cried with joy! It was the first time i got it so right with no but. It was Masterchef perfect! I will be making Turkey stew, Equisi/ Vegetable soup with it and of course reserve some to eat with soaked garri!

My Christmas isn’t complete without my annual Xmas dance. Enjoy!

Ho Ho Ho…Happy Secular Holiday!

Not everyone can have a happy holiday.

It has been an especially sad year for some, with many young lives lost as the holidays approached. So many grieving mothers, grieving fathers, grieving children, grieving lovers, it is sad.

If you are grieving, I wish you the fortitude to bear the loss and a very splendid support system with people that won’t judge you, will hold your hands, listen to you moan and offer you tissues to wipe your tears.

We all cannot be merry this Xmas, please do not feel forced to join in the hilarity if you do not feel up to it. Be strong, for this too shall pass and you shall be happy again.

Pain and pleasures are life’s twin fountains, with our pains; we appreciate more our pleasures when it comes, as it surely will.

Happy Holidays to everyone who is up to it and don’t forget to put a smile on someone’s face today!

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It’s My Birthday; Time to Shake What My Mama Gave Me!

It’s my birthday and it’s not complete without my annual birthday dance. Every year I do a birthday dance on my birthday, and I enjoy comparing the dance videos to see how far I have come, interesting memories.

It has been a particularly difficult and emotionally tasking year with the sudden loss of my mum. I had to process different emotions in my personal life and confront prevalent social ills in my professional life, especially made difficult as the only black person in an all-white work environment where the words ‘Inclusivity and diversity’ are alien language.

However, despite it all, as I turn 43 today, I feel like a hot pie and the only girl in the world.

This is my first birthday as an orphan and I especially miss my beautiful mum because she would have woken me up with a birthday song and try to sneak in some unsolicited prayers! I miss her so much today. I dedicate this birthday dance to my departed beloved parents. You were my vehicles to this world, and I appreciate it.

Thanks to everyone who touched my life in one way or another and left positive impacts. To these who left only negative memories, may our parts never cross again. Positive vibes only.

Thanks, lovely people for all the birthday greetings and lovely wishes, much appreciated.

Happy Birthday to me…it’s time to shake what my mama gave me!

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Essex Pride 2018: Celebrating 40 years of the Rainbow Flag

The month of June heralded the start of Pride Month and it has been one pride after another here in UK. I must say, it has been great fun.

I kick-started my Pride month with my local Pride, Essex Pride. It was my second Essex Pride as I have only been living in Essex for a year and a few months now. I must say, the pride is growing on me!

Essex Pride 2018 took place on June 16 at the Central park, Chelmsford. As it was in my neighbourhood, of course, I had to turn up and rock it all day and all night long.

2018 marked 40 years of the Rainbow flag and Essex Pride Celebrated the Rainbow flag at 40 in great style.

I loved the Costa Rainbow cups for Pride Month, I ended up with quite a collection!

Essex Pride, 2018 was a very family friendly and Pets (basically dogs) friendly Pride, with entertainments area for kids and an area for Pride goers to show off their pets.

For me, it was all about the main entertainment stage. The line-ups were good, the drag queens put up a great show, and the tribute acts were amazing. I danced, and I sang (screamed) awfully as you would see from my videos below. It was also an opportunity to meet up with my local LGBT group. I made new friends and generally had a good time.

Enjoy my pics and Videos from Essex Pride 2018 . Remember, Spread Love not Hate. Happy Pride!

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Happy Birthday To This Wonder Woman

 

I am very grateful to be hale and hearty on this occasion of my 42nd Birthday. The past has been glorious with some pains along the way. I am learning to embrace my present with gratitude and optimism, and I can say I am all geared up to make the future the best of them all.

I appreciate that life is full of surprises, some good, some not so good, and we cannot plan for all exigencies. I embrace life surprises with an open mind and a sense of adventure. I am just grateful to be alive to feel and experience all that life throws my way (and it has been throwing some lemons my way for some time now, there is only so much lemonade one can make with life’s lemons before screaming enough with the cliche).

This year, my birthday resolution is to leave in the past everything that does not grow me. Life is too precious to waste on those who do not deserve to be in my life. I am choosing to surround myself with people who look more like my future than my past.

It is time for me to learn the art of letting go, both in my professional and personal life. There is no point wishing to relive the past when there are still so many adventures to be had, memories to be made, places to explore, and many more ways to live and survive beyond the conventional or familiar.

I must learn to say out loud without shame that I am tired, fed up and done with a system and people that take so much from me and give so little back. It is OK to move away from it all without guilt or a sense of failure.

It is time for me to embrace the unfamiliar and let go of the familiar, its comforts and promises which no longer fulfil or nourish me.

Happy Birthday to me as I step up once again to be the Wonder Woman that I know I am.

Below are some pictures I took on my special day, and a video of my annual Birthday dance. Enjoy! 

Life isn’t always black and white, but on those occasions that it is, everything becomes much clearer and simply beautiful.

Just chilling;after all it’s my 42nd year on planet earth today. Happy with my past, contented with my present and embracing my future with gratitude. Don’t forget baby, leave everything that does not grow you in the past.

Below is a video of my annual birthday dance, which has become a sort of ritual now. Every birthday, I dance to a song of my choice and share with friends. This year, I chose to dance to another old school favourite of mine- ‘Baby boy’ by Beyonce featuring Sean Paul. Enjoy the video.

Celebrating My Uncelebrated Nigerian Award!

On Saturday Sep 24th, 2016, the Nigerian community in UK organised an award dinner ceremony to honour 56 uncelebrated Nigerians in five different categories as part of Nigeria’s 56th independence anniversary.

I was proud to be nominated for the award and was really honoured to receive the Uncelebrated Nigerians Award for contribution to Legal, Security & Law enforcement.

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In my acceptance speech, i dedicated the award to Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transsexuals and Queers in Nigeria and diaspora. Every Nigerian deserves to be free from discrimination regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. LGBT Rights are Human Rights. [Read more…]

May Day: Organise not Agonise!

Every day, the divide between the Rich and the Poor widens, few overpaid workers, some well-paid workers and many underpaid workers. On this special day, please spare a minute to remember the millions of unemployed people; many made redundant by the many budget cuts. Many unemployed people are desperately seeking to enter the workforce, to keep a roof over their heads, put food on the table for their children and struggling to pay bills. Underpaid workers and the unemployed bear the brunt of nasty government policies.

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Help turn on the light at the end of the tunnel for many unemployed people left struggling to make ends meet due to economic downturn, corporate greed, redundancy and many avoidable budget cuts. Together We Can! [Read more…]

Santa Came To Turn Me On!

Some time ago, I broke my waist or thought I had, and excruciating lower back pain sent me running to my doctor.

I wondered why my waist could no longer support mySnapshot_20141212_117 big bums. After MRI scans and prescribed painkillers, it turned out; it was just some muscle strain probably from my gym workout. As it turns out, pulled muscles can be very painful. For a minute, I was convinced i had a mild stroke in my sleep, until my doctor put my mind to rest! Now, i know better than to lift heavy weights or do some strenuous cardio at the gym. I am definitely not taking any body-parts for granted again.

Many of you were concerned and some of my Naija friends recommended the local sprain and strain ointment, aboliki, which was actually very effective! I also promised that as soon as I was up and well again, I would make another dance-exercise video. Since I always make good on my promise, here it is!

Dancing to one of my favourite songs of all time was indeed fun and the sequinned Santa cap i got it at 99p shop came in handy as a dance prop!

I think my waist is at least 95% back to normal, therefore i consider my waist healed. What do you think?

I am glad to be back in good health, grateful to be able to shake my bums again and of course rock my curves!

Here is a toast to good health and Happy Holidays!

 

Related link-

Body Parts And Little Things We Take For Granted

London Black Atheists Celebrates 2nd Anniversary In Style!

London Black Atheists (LBA) celebrated its 2nd anniversary on Saturday, 25 October 2014 at Conway Hall, London.  It was also an opportunity to mark Black History Month. It was a fabulous evening with fantastic people, amazing talents and delicious food and drinks.

Clive Aruede and a few other atheists with the aim of bringing together black atheists in London founded London Black Atheists two years ago. LBA provides a nurturing atmosphere for black atheists to come out of the closet and interact in a safe environment.

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London Black Atheists organises meetups including talks and social outings. It announces scheduled meetups on its Meetup page. Its ‘About info’ states: [Read more…]

Closets Are For Clothes; I Am More Than My Clothes: I Am Coming Out!

Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day! According to Wikipedia

 National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is an internationally observed civil awareness day celebrating individuals who publicly identify as a gender identity or sexuality minority. The day is observed annually by members of the LGBTQ+ community and allies on October 11

Whether you are Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian, Gay, or even Atheist, coming out of the closet is always often a difficult experience for many. Most Logo_ncod_lgtimes, it is a decision that subjects us to a lifetime of discrimination, isolation, ostracism, and judgements not just from the society but unfortunately, also from those we care most about i.e. our family members and friends.

For me personally, all the isolation, judgemental remarks, ostracism, discrimination or jail terms in the world are not enough deterrents to keep me in the closet about my sexual orientation or non-belief.

The Freedom to be me, Freedom to love, Freedom to express my love and shout it from on top mountains, Freedom to assert my sexual and gender identity, Freedom to proclaim my non-belief in religious nonsense etc. are things I will not trade for the safety of the closets.

I cannot and must not let my Freedom to be me be curtailed by people who rejoice in wallowing in ignorance and hate.

Closets are for clothes; I am more than my clothes. [Read more…]

Why I can’t be bothered to wish Nigeria a Happy 54th Independence Anniversary.

For the first time since I can remember, i cannot be bothered to wish Nigeria a Happy Independence anniversary. The sad part is that I feel 385935_186228838142571_185630604869061_319047_711932141_nindifferent about it. I am not angry, I am not excited, I am just indifferent. Am I finally bereft of any emotion for my once beloved country, Nigeria?

Too much is wrong with Nigeria and its people for me to care about whether it breaks up or stay together as one ignoramus, corrupt entity. The one thing i now only care about is our shared humanity. I hope no innocent lives will be further lost in whatever determines or is determining the present and future of Nigeria.

To think i once inhaled tear-gas, faced bullets and was ready to die for that country!  However, I take solace in the knowledge that my actions were not really for the country but motivated by my strong belief in inalienable human rights.

I marched on the streets and confronted the military junta because I believed and still believe in the right to determine who represent me in the seat of power as a Nigerian via the ballot box and not through military coups.

As a student union leader, in the face of oppression, detentions, and suspensions, I stood my ground to speak out against hike in school fees, cultism, and access to education for all. I remember vividly [Read more…]

It’s my Birthday, It’s my Birthday and I’m gonna shake my bodyyyy!!

The journey started 13.8 billion years ago with the Big Bang and continued 4.5 billion years ago with the Solar system and the Earth.  39 years ago, I swam for my life, beating millions of other sperms to the race to the egg. 39 years after, the race continues. However, I am happy to even have the one in a billion chance to experience the wonder that is life.

I am also loving all the good wishes coming my way from family members, friends and fans.

Even Google took time to send me birthday greetings in the form of a lovely personalised doodle. Yeah, I know they probably do this for everyone [Read more…]

Pride is a Celebration and a Protest: London Pride, 2014

This year at London Pride 2014 (June 28), my group, Nigerian LGBTIs in Diaspora Against Anti Same-Sex Laws marched alongside Peter Tatchell Foundation, Out and Proud Group and other African LGBTIs activists to protest against the persecution of LGBTs in 80 per cent of the 53 Commonwealth member states, many of them African nations.

It is saddening that 80% of Commonwealth countries discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and inter-sex (LGBTI) people. In this age of democracy, every progressive nation should endeavour to protect the human rights of every citizen. No one is less of a human being because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Acknowledging and protecting LGBTI rights as human rights is a step forward for humanity. It is shameful that the Commonwealth of Nations has not taken this important step. We continue to call on the Commonwealth to stand up for the rights of its LGBTI citizens. Every human deserves human rights. LGBTI rights are human rights.

Pride is both a celebration and a Protest. As we celebrate our Rights, let’s remember those who are still criminalized for their sexual orientation.

Enjoy the sights and sounds of London Pride 2014.

 

 

Even though the weather wasn’t great, not even the rain could rain on our parade, the rainbow always shines through! [Read more…]