First, a top general blames ‘hookup mentality’ for the Air Force’s massive sexual assault problem . Then, Hong Kong’s security minister said that women should avoid drinking too much if they don’t want to get raped. He said, “Some of these cases also involved the victims being raped after drinking quite a lot of alcohol. So I would appeal that young ladies should not drink too much.”
Women should not wear ‘provocative dresses’, women should not drink alcohol too much,women should not go to bars, women should not go to the streets at night, women should not go out alone, women should not go outside without burqas. They have to do hundreds of different things to avoid rape.
Men do not stop raping. Men are not advised not to rape the way women are advised not to be raped. Most people probably believe men will never control the urge of raping women, so it is women, or the potential victims should reduce or sacrifice their freedom and rights if they want to save themselves from being raped, abused, assaulted, killed by their fellow humans.
Women will still be raped even If women stop wearing provocative dresses, stop drinking alcohol, do not walk outside alone, or do not go to bars. Most men still do not believe raping is bad because they know that it is not considered bad to treat women as sex objects and slaves in patriarchal societies.
Oh Taslima, it ,makes me want to cry when i read these words. It is SO simple; just teach our boys and men to not rape. But before we can do that, we still need to teach people to NOT blame the victims.
I live in New Zealand, a nice, peaceful and very secular pacific backwater, and yet today our local newspaper, The Press in Christchurch published the following letter:
I applaud the efforts of Cheryl Tovizi in her crusade regarding protection orders and their lack of real protection for women against violent boyfriends (May 15), but the education needs to start long before these situations develop.
Until young women start having respect for themselves, they cannot expect others to have respect for them. The propensity for young women to go out drinking until they fall into the gutter is a good place to start.
Also, the habit of having sex with all and sundry, whether drunk or not, and having babies when they are technically still babies themselves, doesn’t help.
Once she becomes a mother, a woman’s first priority and responsibility should be the safety of her child, yet we read often about babies being abused and killed by mum’s new boyfriend.
Too many mothers put their sexual needs ahead of the welfare of their children and let unsavoury characters into their home for the sake of a roll in the hay.
It is time to instil morality and decency back into society despite all the political correctness that seems hell-bent on removing it.
Yes, it is all the woman’s fault because she wants to live a life, to enjoy a life. And the real tragedy, this letter wasn’t written by an ageing alpha-male MRA troglodyte, but by a woman.
Yes, we MUST educate the boys and men to not rape, but we must also educate everyone to not blame victims.
Don’t go out at night folks, there’s zombies, vampires and werewolves. If you have to go out carry, garlic, wooden stakes, silver crosses, and don’t forget the silver bullets.
Oh I forgot… one more thing to look out for… men with a a stiff penis… they have no conscious.
What about females who never go out but still get raped. Like female children and babies, wives who are homebound, kidnapped women like the women in Ohio. I doubt they drank too much. Do these high-ranking men have any suggestions?
Taslima, most men don’t rape, and most women aren’t cunts.
You are a stupid cunt, but I don’t project that onto all women.
“whatever” we can only hope you are gay. Stick with the fellas please.
Hey now, this gay fella doesn’t want him either!
I have different sets of rules just because I do not have a penis.
Y’know ‘Whatever’, nowadays I just laugh out loud at pathetic comments like yours. Yeah, call Taslima a ‘cunt’ — what do you expect? That she’ll be mortified and become silent for ever? You’ll never be able to silence her and people like her and me. YOU HAVE LOST.
You want rules??!?! Take all the rules!.
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to assault her.
4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t assault her. You know what? Don’t even ogle her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not assault her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or assault her.
7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.
8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from assaulting women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when in public.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to assault a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.
10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.
Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be assaulting her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
debbaasseerr
It’s really kind of pointless for you to name a bunch of activities performed by criminal psychopaths (excluding #2) and tell such criminal psychopaths to “don’t do that”. I’m quite sure that they already realize that they are doing evil things that society in general frowns upon. But they are going to do it anyway because they’re criminals and that is what they do. That is what prisons are for.
Giving someone advice on how to protect themselves will go over better than telling bad people to not do bad things. The vast majority of men will never rape. On the other hand, practically every woman (or person) is a potential rape victim (though the vast majority will never be raped). Thus, telling a bunch of men who will never rape not to rape is a waste while telling a rapists not to rape is similarly a waste. Telling a bunch of women how to avoid being raped is clearly more valuable. The men who rape must be dealt with through the justice system and through changing aspects of culture and society that promote criminal behavior (fatherless homes, moral decay, hyper- sexualized society, etc.).
Also, there are more rape victims than there are rapists. Individual rapists tend to rape multiple victims. Thus, there are more women who will be raped than there are men who will rape. So talking to the larger number of future rape victims would make more sense.
What could be taught to most men is an understanding of the expanding definition of rape and sexual assault. Thus, young men should be taught that you can no longer approach women you are interested in courting. Wait for them to make the first move (men can’t be harassed). You can no longer complement women on their looks. You must always let women initiate sex and you must always continually ask women if what you are doing is acceptable even if constantly asking this clearly turns them off (which will probably be the case).
You must never have sex with women who have consumed any level of alcohol no matter how coherent they appear and how aggressive they are. Always ask for ID even if they have grey hair. Women will tell them never to ask for kisses but to just do it. Men must ignore this and always ask despite the chance of it ruining her mood. Always be gentle during sex even if she demands that you be rough. Include even your wives when following these rules.
These are the things we must relay to young men.
Meet The Predators
Yes. And not only could it, but one should attempt it if one cares about the issue.
It it to your shame that you then ignore this entirely and vomit your sarcastic diatribe consisting of hyperbolic dicta which have nothing to do with rape and sexual assault.
Your sarcasm is weak because it misses the mark entirely.
(You are revealing of your mindset when you interpret education as oppression)
http://www.leaderu.com/real/ri9502/sommers.html
When Neil Gilbert, a professor at Berkeley’s School of Social Welfare, first read the “one in four” figure in the school newspaper, he was convinced it could not be accurate. The results did not tally with the findings of almost all previous research on rape. When he read the study he was able to see where the high figures came from and why Koss’s approach was unsound.
He noticed, for example, that Koss and her colleagues counted as victims of rape any respondent who answered “yes” to the question “Have you had sexual intercourse when you didn’t want to because a man gave you alcohol or drugs?” That opened the door wide to regarding as a rape victim anyone who regretted her liaison of the previous night. If your date mixes a pitcher of margaritas and encourages you to drink with him and you accept a drink, have you been “administered” an intoxicant, and has your judgment been impaired? Certainly, if you pass out and are molested, one would call it rape. But if you drink and, while intoxicated, engage in sex that you later come to regret, have you been raped? Koss does not address these questions specifically, she merely counts your date as a rapist and you as a rape statistic if you drank with your date and regret having had sex with him. As Gilbert points out, the question, as Koss posed it, is far too ambiguous:
What does having sex “because” a man gives you drugs or alcohol signify? A positive response does not indicate whether duress, intoxication, force, or the threat of force were present; whether the woman’s judgment or control were substantially impaired; or whether the man purposefully got the woman drunk in order to prevent her resistance to sexual advances…. While the item could have been clearly worded to denote “intentional incapacitation of the victim,” as the question stands it would require a mind reader to detect whether any affirmative response corresponds to this legal definition of rape.[17]
More:
However, that is not how the so-called rape victims saw it. Only about a quarter of the women Koss calls rape victims labeled what happened to them as rape. According to Koss, the answers to the follow-up questions revealed that “only 27 percent” of the women she counted as having been raped labeled themselves as rape victims.[10] Of the remainder, 49 percent said it was “miscommunication,” 14 percent said it was a “crime but not rape,” and 11 percent said they “don’t feel victimized.”[11]
See, that’s rape culture then and there.
(Even victims excuse it!)
That’s all very interesting (if dated), but what does that have to do with my reply to you?
Your link to “Meet The Predators” references the same study that she addresses.
By which you mean that one of the studies* (out of the many mentioned there) they have in common is the Mary Koss one.
Point being that some people who don’t perceive themselves as rapists describe instances of them sexually assaulting people.
The objections to that simple contention seem to boil about how large the proportion of men that constitutes, thereby conceding the existence of such.
—
* From your link: “… the 1985 Ms. magazine report by Mary Koss …”
(Surely that’s not a study?)
(trigger warning?)
@Good:
Your stupid straw argument relies on the assumption men are divided into “good” (don’t rape) and “bad” (go around raping).
The sad truth is: a lot of “good” men rape because they’re convinced what they do is not rape, or because society lets them get away with it as long as any element of the story can be construed as the fault of the victim.
The even sadder truth is: the majority of rape cases happen in situations where the commonly thought precautions are UTTERLY WORTHLESS. What precaution will prevent a child from being abused by their parent? What precaution will help a Cub Scout boy escape from being repeatedly raped by his supervisor, who uses his authority to “teach” children to stay silent? What precaution would help a woman who was raped in their own room by a brother who had her keys? What precaution would help a woman who had their own gun taken from her and raped at gunpoint? What precautions would help a man who was raped by a fellow soldier in the army?
That’s the context. Teaching “precautions” to women always comes with your assumption in mind. “Well, bad people will not listen to reason, so let’s put all the burden on the victims and never address what makes so many men find rape acceptable in the first place!”. Screw you and your precautions.
Since the rest of your silly tirade relies on the truth value of your ridiculous strawman, I don’t need to address it.
What could be taught to most men is an understanding of the expanding definition of rape and sexual assault. Thus, young men should be taught that you can no longer approach women you are interested in courting. Wait for them to make the first move (men can’t be harassed). You can no longer complement women on their looks. You must always let women initiate sex and you must always continually ask women if what you are doing is acceptable even if constantly asking this clearly turns them off (which will probably be the case).
Everything you’ve written here is wrong.
For example, it’s perfectly OK to approach women, provided they’re interested in being approached by you. You don’t need to wait for them to make the first move. If you’re not sure if a woman is interested in being approached, you need to look for social cues. Some women will signal interest through body language. Or if you’re at a social function, you can make small talk about topics related to the function and see if she seems interested in continuing the conversation.
Of course, it takes a certain amount of practice to do this smoothly. If you’re socially awkward, then it’s probably best to either wait for her to approach you, or ask a mutual friend to arrange an introduction. If all else fails, on-line dating sites are a great way to approach people without having to worry that you’re making a nuisance of yourself.
Anyway, from what you’ve written, I get the feeling that the rules of social interaction are a horrible confusing maze for you, and that you’ve only got vague hints about what you’re supposed to be doing. That’s nothing to be ashamed of; things can get pretty complicated and there’s a lot of stuff to memorize. Big chunks of it aren’t written down; you have to figure it out by watching what other people do.
The best advice I can give you is to start by memorizing the 10 rules in debbaasseerr’s post up above. I mean it, they’ll save your life someday. If you’re looking for someone to date, then ask one of your close friends to set you up with somebody compatible, and maybe go on a double-date so that they can stop you if you start to do something rude or offensive. If you don’t have any close friends, then you should try to make some…it’s a great way to practice your social skills before you plunge into the minefield of dating.
That’s all I can think of right now, but let me know if you need more advice.
I’m married, but thanks. At least you are civil. One thing to note is that I don’t discuss anything based on me. I discuss it based on the study and observation of humankind and a desire to see society as a whole thriving. This is one of the problems of addressing the commenter as opposed to addressing the comment. My view comes from things like this:
http://www.livescience.com/4876-clueless-guys-read-women.html
Of course the manosphere promotes PUA for the information that you offer, yet this brings sort of a negative reaction from feminists. Dating shouldn’t be such a game, yet becomes one due to the “maze” that you reference.
vaiyt
Hello. How are you? To start out, we are not discussing child molestation. It is you who brought that up as a straw argument. Same goes for your “brother” argument since adult women being raped by their brothers is extremely rare if anything at all.
Now here you go. Most rape is acquaintance rape and more than half of acquaintance rape involve the victim being under the influence of alcohol. Thus, the exclusion of drinking could help prevent women from being raped. Also, it has be shown through research that most convicted rapists have committed non-rape criminal offenses in the past. So while most rapists are not jumping from behind bushes attacking strangers, most have committed some type of crime previously other than rape. So generally law abiding me practically never rape.
What you are doing when you constantly point the finger at all men telling them not to rape is normalizing rape. Those few rapists, instead of feeling alienated in their actions begin to feel that they are a part of the majority of men who feminists have declared as potential rapists and this gives them some justification. Feminists make rapists into normal guys by declaring normal guys to be highly potential rapists.
Also, based on the link below:
http://www.female-offenders.com/resources.html
There is an alarmingly high rate of sexual abuse by females in the backgrounds of rapists, sex offenders and sexually aggressive men – 59% (Petrovich and Templer, 1984), 66% (Groth, 1979) and 80% (Briere and Smiljanich, 1993). (Link)
So since between 60 and 80% of male sexual predators have been sexually abused by women, one way to help stop rape is to tell women to stop sexually abusing young boys.
You are laughably unaware of your rhetorical idiocy, ain’t ya?
In fairness, the discussion appears to be about grown women taking some responsibility for their own safety, yet vaiyt included children even though no one expects children to have such responsibility for themselves.
Good brought up rapist’s youth in a totally different context. You would know this if you tried discussing things intelligently instead of childish ad hominem insults.
In fairness, the discussion is about the reality that sexual assault is a serious social problem which victimises children too, and how (I quote) “Men are not advised not to rape the way women are advised not to be raped.” — IOW, it’s calling out victim-blaming.
(What you’re trying to do, oddly-enough)
Your inadvertent irony amuses me.
Rape is rape, no matter who the victim is. Rapists of men, women and children act on largely the same mentality and get away with it for mostly the same reasons. But let’s ignore a sizable portion of the victims so your argument doesn’t sound so stupid!
Locking all women up would also help prevent them from being raped. Is that reasonable, though? Is it reasonable that us, as a society, determine that women should do only what rapists allow them to do?
Maybe in the Bizarro world where you live that is true. Meanwhile, in the real world, rapists do not come with signs on their heads. Most of that minority of men are normal people who rape because they’ve led to thinking some kinds of rape are not “REAL” rape. And they will confess to it, too, as long as the R-word is not mentioned.
She’s drunk, so she’s fair game.
She’s asleep, she won’t mind.
She had sex with that same person before, so she can’t object anymore.
She’s my wife and she has to have sex with me if I want.
etc.
That is what educating the public and changing rape culture is supposed to prevent. It’s supposed to tell the Steubenville people that no, shoving stuff inside a woman’s vagina while she’s intoxicated is NOT okay and if you see that happen you should help the woman instead of taking photos and posting them on the internet!
There is no such thing as rape culture. That is one of the many feminist cliches tossed out there without thought along with the great mythological evil spirit called the patriarchy. How can something that the vast majority of men never do, that will get you locked up for many years be called culture? You can almost call anything bad that a minority of people do “culture”. Good brings up a good point in that you are normalizing rape in a very irresponsible way.
Locking up criminals educates the public quite well that rape is a no no. All you are doing is reciting feminist rhetoric.
You are in denial.
You do know what a cliché is, no? 😉
(So true it’s become trite)
To understand that, you’d need to have a modicum of understanding for sociology and anthropology.
See what I mean? Your ignorance is evident.
For an ignoramus such as you, idiocy seems impressive.
You have no idea of what the reporting rate (never mind conviction rate) for rape is like, do ya?
All you are doing is being dismissive on the basis of your personal ignorance.
Lol. This person could not address a single point intelligently.
You refer to yourself in the third person?
<snicker>
Good @11:
Funny, I thought it was telling men not to rape. I think the men who never would rape understand this. Why are you having a hard time understanding?
You must be one of those racists who go around specifically telling all black men not to commit crimes.
Men who would never rape understand this. Men who rape don’t. Another example of preaching to the choir and in the process, demonizing the entire male gender. This is a staple of female feminists and their pathetic gynocentric male supporters (or female posters who pretend to be male).
Feminisms desire to give women equal outcomes without women be held to any responsibility is getting old. No one tells men not to rape in prison. In order to not be prison raped, men are told to not go to prison. There is nothing wrong with women being told to not get so drunk that they do things that they would not do sober and then cry rape when they regret their behavior.
Men are told over and over not to rape, yet when one man says that women should stop the heavy drinking, the blog host goes crazy and declares that MOST men think rape is ok (a statement none of you bias gynocentric demogogues will never adddress).
Have you yet to tell women to stop abusing children? Do you tell women to not make false rape claims?
Care to explain your reasoning that led you to this conclusion?
Which is why educating men on what constitutes rape is most relevant and important; if (say) a man imagines he cannot rape his wife, then he imagines that coercing sexual favours from her is not being a rapist.
Since any “demonizing” refers to male rapists, it is you who inadvertently admits that you imagine the entire “male gender” are rapists.
And of you, too — as I’ve just noted immediately above.
You’re incoherent; it’s not outcomes but process for which feminism seeks equality.
Welcome to another aspect of rape culture; it is expected that going to prison entails rape.
Rape is not something women do to themselves, it is something that is done to them.
If you refer to this: “Most men still do not believe raping is bad because they know that it is not considered bad to treat women as sex objects and slaves in patriarchal societies.”, you should address its premise.
If I’m a “bias gynocentric demogogue”, then you are utterly wrong; if I’m not, it’s not just “bias gynocentric demogogues” who support the contention that ‘rape culture’ as defined by feminists is widespread.
If no woman ever abused a child and no woman ever made false rape claims, rape would still be a serious problem.
—
(Your narrative is transparent but specious)
Your breakdowns are comprehensive yet concise, though!
Dear Taslima,
There is a fault in the society of not grooming boys and girls on equal footing. The superiority complex of men creates false egos. Men should be made to realize that even though they are physically stronger than women but still they take birth from women. From early childhood respect and care for girls should be ingrained in boys.
Men should learn not to take a woman seriously who is not interested in him and should forget her, instead he should think of the woman who likes him. This will save him from having expectations from the woman who does not like him and thus he will not do any wrong thing against her as he has forgot her and is busy with the woman who likes him.
!! EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL THE PAINS OF LIFE !!
Further to this the very existence of Human race depends on procreation. Procreation is the outcome of sexual activity. Sexual activity happens out of attraction of man for woman. Man being active partner of the sexual act thus he will be able to perform the sexual act if he is attracted towards that woman. Curiosity is the food for attraction. One of the reason Human beings wear clothes is to keep the curiosity alive continuously. This is the reason that animals indulge in sex in some months of year but Human Beings indulge in sex throughout the year as they have learnt to keep the plateau of curiosity and thus attraction continuously by covering their bodies by clothes.
This is the reason that the Countries / Cultures / Religions in which woman’s body is covered in Burqa / Hijaab / Purdah / Ghunghat the rate of population growth is more than in Countries / Cultures / Religions where woman wear scanty or men’s clothes! THIS PROVES THE ABOVE HYPOTHESIS!
There are many cases where the men who sparingly view pornography their sexual power gets diminished as their remains no curiosity and thus no attraction for the woman body. Even this proves the above Hypothesis!
The problems of Humanity are very complex and thus cannot have straightforward resolutions.
Maybe part of the problem is that men who don’t rape are included in the “men rape” rhetoric.