This is to help defray FTB’s legal debts from Richard Carrier’s defamation lawsuit. Details and rules are below:

Auction Is Closed. No bids. I’m afraid I didn’t get this together until a bit late in the season. Sorry!

The reason should be obvious, this is related to Halloween and it’s better to have it before the big day than afterward. Naturally, I should have done this earlier except I only had the idea this afternoon. So bid fast if you want this thing and I’ll send it out Thursday afternoon.

You want this if you’re carving pumpkins. Or, if you are trapped in a room with a wooden door and a pumpkin: you can saw the door and eat yummy pumpkin while you’re doing it. It can double as a knife-maker’s handle broach or a small weapon for small murders.

Fancy Irish linen napkin not included unless you absolutely insist you need it.

In the photo, as shown, the handle has not yet been finished. I’m rushing this to auction, I tell you!

Bidding starts at: $5

You can bid in the comments, or bid by emailing me [link]. If you email, I will assume that you wish to remain anonymous and will post a comment in the bidding section that reads something like: “Anonymous bid in the amount of $___” I do not live glued to my email so it may take a while for an email bid to register.

Whoever bids the most for the PumpkinPoker it for $1 more than the second highest bidder bid. For example, if I bid $75 and Joe bids $5 and I’m the highest bidder, that makes Joe the second highest bidder, and I win the thing for $10 – the bidding start price. This is a variation of the Ebay bidding algorithm and, while it is less effective at milking money from the bidders, it discourages people from feeling that they need to log in at the last minute and try to bid over someone else. At the time when bidding closes, whichever bid is the highest, whether it’s email or a comment, wins.

Since we don’t have an automated bidding system like Ebay, I’d like to discourage “auction sniping.” If you want the thing, bid what you’re willing to pay for it and just see what happens. If you simply must have it, bid $1million for it and if the second highest bidder had bid $50, it’s yours for $51.

If you do not win, you owe nothing!

The winner is expected to donate the agreed-upon amount to the defense fund and send me suitable proof (a screenshot or whatever) and give me a shipping address, at which point I’ll box it up and send it along! I will cover shipping unless you are on the moon. Bear in mind that international mail service is “all fucked up” right now because of COVID so it may take a month or more to get your loot if you are outside the US. It may take a month or more if you are inside the US, too.

How To Pay:

You can donate directly to FTB’s [paypal] which is my preference, or to the collective GoFundMe which divides the money between FTB, Skepticon, and other defendants in the lawsuit.

AUCTION CLOSES Thursday Oct 22, at 10:00AM.

My comment settings require manual approval for the first comment from a person. If you comment and don’t see it, I’ll get it, fear not. If you email me and do not get an acknowledgement, and you are gmail user, check your spam box. Google’s spam algorithms don’t like me for reasons I have never cared to figure out.