People often complain that I’m too mild-mannered in my personal appearances — that they want a real fire-breather. Well, my solution arrived as a gift in the mail today: a selection of fine fire-breathing aids from
Chilestuff.com, including a spectacularly vivid t-shirt with that appropriate logo on it. Next talk I give, you should sit in the back row.

Alas, this might make Skatje cry. She likes her food bland, but I’m going to have to sneak a little of the chile relish or the hot sauce into pale, tasteless, limp food — and then she’ll look like the picture!

Weird ol’ Target is now selling talking Jesus toys. Isn’t there something in the Bible about idols? Isn’t it turning their divine prophet into a cheap gimmick, literally? It seems to me that the real blasphemies seem to emanate from the Christians themselves, rather than us atheists.

It might be a useful toy for breaking indoctrination, though, when the kiddies discover that Jesus has “Made in China” imprinted on the sole of his foot, and that they can play games that have him shacking up with Barbie. And Ken.

It’s awfully risky to put this here, but it is a pretty picture.

Feeling trinitarian yet?

Perhaps you are interested in knowing how to survive the end of civilization in an alternate universe. Or perhaps you’d like to know how to take advantage of the apocalypse to shape this universe into an alternate reality. Then you are part of the rarefied market for A SteamPunk’s Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse. There are actually some useful suggestions in there for any cultural upheaval.

(via Our Descent Into Madness)

I just got back from Madison, which is mad about Halloween, and then I was emailed this exceedingly cool Halloween costume idea: dress up as a jellyfish with flashing LEDs.

It looks easy: here are the full instructions, with the traditional hot glue gun and soldering iron, but no duct tape, which does violate the rules of home handicrafts, I think. The only drawback is that the LEDs cost about $2.50 each, which adds up. The jellyfish uses 18, but if you modified this to make a luminescent squid, you’d only need 10.

Another virtue for the paranoid parents out there, though, is that the late night traffic won’t be able to miss seeing your kid when he or she is crossing the street.

Scientists love empiricism and evidence-based demonstrations, so elderly urologists flaunting their erections seems like an effective presentation technique in the right context. And here I’ve always just relied on boring ol’ PowerPoint.

Here’s a simple little video game: Michael Behe vs. The Mousetraps. It does need some sound effects, and it’s far too easy for Behe to get ID points.

One source of fuel hydrocarbons in the 19th century was the whaling industry. I guess that won’t work in the 21st century.

According to industry website SaveTheWhales.org, a sperm whale could produce 2000 gallons, or 47.6 barrels, of oil. Thus a touch of long division tells us that we will need to slaughter approximately 630 million sperm whales each year in order to completely replace our petroleum production. Since there are only an estimated one million sperm whales currently living on Earth, wiping out the entire species would power the global economy for about half a day.

Too bad. I wonder how much oil we could squeeze out of puppy dogs and bunny rabbits?

Since we have a few people who seem to like poetry here, I thought you might be amused by some Christian poems. Actually, if you like and respect poetry, you might not want to click through that link—this is poetry like throwing a cat in a woodchipper is music. I’ve included a few small fragments below the fold if you just want a taste.

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You know, when a conservative Christian minister, graduate of Liberty University, and friend of Jerry Falwell is found dead under these circumstances…

Clothing: The decedent was received wearing two (2) wet suits, one scuba diving mask, one pair of diving gloves, one pair of slippers, one pair of rubber underwear, two (2) ties, five (5) belts, eleven (11) straps.

Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.

…you know that somehow, somewhere, someone is going to blame the liberals.

Although I think Mrs Tilton has the right response — it’s a shame and a waste that someone spent a life sanctimoniously denouncing people just like him. If he’d been a godless liberal, maybe he would have joined a club, been a little happier, had a lot less self-loathing, and still be alive today.

But man, two wetsuits? A little moderation in all things is a wise dictum.