Great Bible, but what about the STICKY PAGES?


Which is worse: 1) the guy peddling silly Christian theology who truly believes in that nonsense, or 2) the guy peddling silly Christian theology who doesn’t understand it or believe it? For me, it’s a toss-up; #1 isn’t lying to everyone, but is still a gullible ninny, while #2 is trying to convince everyone to buy something he doesn’t think is worth it. They’re both awful people.

Now Donald Trump has become a Bible salesman. He’s selling them for $59.99. Of course he gets a cut — he’s not doing this because he wants to save everyone, but because he wants to save himself. He’s #2.

These are special Bibles, the Lee Greenwood Version. Greenwood is the folksy singer who got rich off one song, a patriotic country-western anthem that gets the good ol’ boys tearing up and cheering, while I’m leaning over to puke under the bleachers. What makes his Bible special is that it’s in easy-to-read large print (it won’t get read much, though), and also includes copies of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.” It’s also The God Bless The USA Bible is the ONLY Bible inspired by America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA. It’s not just divinely inspired, it’s Lee Greenwood inspired, which makes it just that much better.

They have a FAQ page for this grift, with one question that did set me back a bit.

WHAT IF MY BIBLE HAS STICKY PAGES?

This is not something I usually worry about when I buy a book, but it just tells you how wonderful and exciting this Bible must be.

(They say it’s just because of the gilded edges, but we all know what it’s really about…)

Comments

  1. birgerjohansson says

    “What if my bible has sticky pages” is up there with weird sentences alongside Frank Zappa’s music title ‘Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow’.

  2. says

    This bible has been designed so that it delivers an easy reading experience in the trusted King James Version translation.

    Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? The language of the KJV is notoriously archaic and anything but “easy reading”.

  3. says

    From the FAQ:

    Is any of the money from this Bible going to the Donald J. Trump campaign for President?
    No, GodBlessTheUSABible.com is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign. GodBlessTheUSABible.com is not owned, managed or controlled by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization, CIC Ventures LLC or any of their respective principals or affiliates.
    GodBlessTheUSABible.com uses Donald J. Trump’s name, likeness and image under paid license from CIC Ventures LLC, which license may be terminated or revoked according to its terms.

    So, none of the money is going to Trump… except for the money they’re paying him for the license. No mention of how much that is.
    Also, there doesn’t seem to be any information on the site about who does own this or where any potential profits are going. I did a whois check, but it just shows that the site is registered through godaddy.

  4. says

    LykeX @6

    ICANN shows it owned by DomainsByProxy, LLC. So someone paid to register domains to keep the real owner secret.

  5. says

    One wonders about all of the portions of “the Bible” left out of the KJV; there are just a few right-wing American Catholics, for example, who will find this edition unsatisfying, as will Episcopalians (for slightly different reasons). And the Book of Mormon appears to be right out!

  6. StevoR says

    @6. LykeX : I like the bit where they talk about : “For your convenience, we have provided links to a Youtube video that does a wonderful job of explaining how to break your new Bible in.” As if it’s a horse or something? What the.. ?

    No translations, of course, too..

    I wonder if the story of the Golden calf will be illustrated aptly with a picture of the Golden Trump statute they had a CPAC some years ago now :

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/27/golden-trump-statue-mexico-cpac

    Which turns out to be made in Mexico..

    Oh & they do know the the Americas – all of them from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego USA obvs ain’t included in the Bible right? Right?

  7. StevoR says

    ^ Dangnabbit. Should be fully asleep now not just half asleep, sigh. Make that :

    They do know that the Americas – all of them from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego – with the USA obvs included – ain’t in the Bible or mentioned by the XN God in any form (Mormons excepted) right?

    PS. Be “ironic” (if that’s the right word? Never sure with that term..) if some of its purchasers actually read the red letters of Jesus in this latest version of the Bible and what he actually said & thereby were convinced .. NOT to vote for Trump and Repugs.

  8. cheerfulcharlie says

    John 14;15
    “If you love me, keep my commandments”
    – Jesus Christ

    Mark 10, Luke 12, 14, 18, Matthew 19
    Sell all you have and give to the poor. The commands of Jesus Trump has no intention of following. Nor most loud, self proclaimed right winged Christians. We see right winged politicians falling all over themselves to mandate the ten commandments be displayed and taught in our schools. Because Jesus commands that these commandments be followed. The punch line to the command of Jesus to follow the ten commandments, sell all you have and give to the poor, gets left off of of all of this.

    Commandment 6 is fun also. Thou shalt not kill. Now it is off to Canaan to murder all the Canaanites as per God’s command. What does the 6th commandment really mean?

  9. christoph says

    Anyone ever see the movie “Paper Moon?” It has Ryan O’Neal as a Bible selling con man.

  10. Hoosier Bluegill says

    So guy number 1, who is peddling silly Christian theology because he believes it, is also a follower of George Costanza: “It’s not a lie if you believe it!”

  11. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    Since the only thing Trump “reads” is his old Playboy collection, he’s convinced every book has sticky pages.

  12. raven says

    Our old family bible was the KJV version, written using the archaic English.
    That language with thee and thou and goeth and so on was archaic even when it was translated.

    I always found it jarring, hard to read, and these days pretentious.
    The archaic English is pointless and adds nothing to the bible.
    There is no reason not to use modern English and most KJV versions I’ve seen lately are written in modern English.

    This version, I don’t know whether it uses Elizabethan English or modern English and don’t care enough to look it up.

  13. vereverum says

    “US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance”
    all of which would be condemned by early Christians as anti-God work of the Anti-Christ.
    You are to obey the rulers God has placed over you (George III) not rebel against them.

  14. stuffin says

    Do all the Trump bibles come with sticky pages or are they random? Is it like pulling that one in a thousand signature card out of an ordinary pack of baseball cards? Or does everybody get a signed card?

  15. Owlmirror says

    The link @#7 also links to a statement of Christian opposition to the “God Bless the USA Bible”:

    https://religionunplugged.com/news/2021/5/25/why-were-glad-our-publisher-isnt-backing-this-bible

    But what is new is a growing awareness of how dangerous nationalism is when coupled with faith.

    American nationalism is its own civil religion, where America rather than Jesus is the center of attention. Instead of Jesus and the Church being the light of the world and the hope for humanity, America becomes the Messianic force in the world. Like any religion it has its own liturgy, saints and holidays. These symbols are on full display in this new Bible – the eagle, the flag, the red, white and blue. America’s civil religion has its own creeds too in the new Bible – “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” It has its own “worship” songs – like “God Bless the USA” and “I’m Proud to be an American,” both by Lee Greenwood. It has its own theology – manifest destiny, the doctrine of discovery and American exceptionalism. And this is precisely why it is dangerous to mesh patriotism with orthodox Christian faith.

    After all, the Bible does not say “God bless America.” It says, “God so loved the world.” The national anthem should not be in the church hymnal, and the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States should not be in the Bible.

    [. . .]
    And if we are to be good Christians, we may not always be the best Americans. The beatitudes of Jesus where he blesses the poor, the meek, the merciful, the peacemakers – can feel very different from the “beatitudes” of America. Our money may say in God we trust, but our economy often looks like the seven deadly sins. For Christians, our loyalty is to Jesus. That is who we pledge allegiance to. As the old hymn goes – “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness/ On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.” Our hope is not in the donkey of the Democrats or the elephant of the GOP… or even in America.

    Our hope is in the Lamb. The light of the world is not America… it is Christ.

    Sadly, they are no doubt in a very tiny minority nowadays.

  16. Dunc says

    What makes his Bible special is that it’s in easy-to-read large print (it won’t get read much, though), and also includes copies of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.”

    Blasphemy! You might as well put pages of classified ads in the back.

    Fucking heretics. Burn the lot of ’em.

  17. raven says

    …and also includes copies of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.” It’s also The God Bless The USA Bible is the ONLY Bible inspired by America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA.

    They left at least one important document out.

    The lyrics to Okie from Muskogee by Merle Haggard.

    I’ll put them here so you can photocopy them and put them inside the back cover of your Trump bible.

    Okie from Muskogee

    Song by Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson

    We don’t smoke marijuana in Muskogee
    We don’t take our trips on LSD
    We don’t burn our draft cards down on Main Street
    We like livin’ right, and bein’ free

    We don’t make a party out of lovin’
    We like holdin’ hands and pitchin’ woo
    We don’t let our hair grow long and shaggy
    Like the hippies out in San Francisco do

    I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
    A place where even squares can have a ball
    We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
    And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all

    Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear
    Beads and Roman sandals won’t be seen
    Football’s still the roughest thing on campus
    And the kids here still respect the college dean

    WAnd I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee
    A place where even squares can have a ball.
    We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse
    And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all

    And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all
    In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.

  18. Owlmirror says

    @LykeX:

    So, none of the money is going to Trump… except for the money they’re paying him for the license.

    You have to read carefully to see where they switched the pea under the shell. They never claimed that the money wasn’t going to Trump. They were very careful to phrase the “question” they answered in the negative as : “Is any of the money from this Bible going to the Donald J. Trump campaign for President?”
    Emphasis mine.

    So, no, the money is officially not going directly to the Trump presidential campaign. Now, if “CIC Ventures LLC” then sends the licensing funds to the campaign, or to Trump’s litigation expenses, or whatever, well, that’s not the business of God Bless the USA Bible.

    Hm. “CIC” can stand for many things, but it occurred to me that one of the things that it can stand for is “Commander-in-Chief”. Coincidence, or very broad wink?

  19. says

    Its probably because they did not properly gold leaf the pages, but instead rollered a mixture of glue and pigment down the side of the book once it was bound. Ironically, using gold (colored stuff) to demonstrate what a cheap piece of crap the book is.

    Proper gilt paged bibles use gold from the golden calf statue mose got so upset about.

  20. Owlmirror says

    Searching for “CIC Ventures LLC” brings up other Trump-associated grifts and scams. Remember those gold-colored sneakers?

    https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gold-sneakers-1871461

    The website established to sell the sneakers says that the designs are trademarked by CIC Ventures LLC, and “are not designed, manufactured, distributed or sold by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their respective affiliates or principals.”

    Again, note the careful wording. Not by Donald Trump directly, and not by The Trump Organization or affiliates directly. But indirectly? Well, that’s not disclosed.

    CIC Ventures LLC was established in Palm Beach, Florida, in 2021, after being formed in Delaware. At the time its two managers were listed as Nicholas Luna, who served as Trump’s personal assistant in the White House, and John B. Marion IV, a local lawyer who also worked for Trump, state business records show.

    New York Times journalist Ken Bensinger previously reported that CIC Ventures had licensed Trump’s image and likeness for the $99 NFT trading cards that the former president promoted in late 2022. The trading card website says his likeness is licensed from CIC Digital, a distinct corporation registered in Delaware.

    As of the latest filing, in April 2023, Marion was the only person listed as a member of the company. The address given for the company is that of the Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach.

    Maybe the money flows out as an “office rental fee” paid to the golf club?

  21. robro says

    raven @ #23 — The irony is that anyone putting Merle’s song in the GodBlessAmerica Bible publication would be completely missing the irony of Merle’s jokes. BTW I don’t think Willie gets a credit on that one tho he and Merle probably played it together often enough while token down in the studio. There’s even video somewhere of Willie and Merle playing in Willie’s studio with lots of joint passing.

  22. Owlmirror says

    https://abc7ny.com/trump-is-selling-god-bless-the-usa-bibles-for-5999-as-he-faces-mounting-legal-bills/14574232/

    Or Trump just owns CIC Ventures outright.

    CIC Ventures LLC, a company that Trump reported owning in his 2023 financial disclosure, has a similar arrangement with 45Footwear, which also says it uses Trump’s “name, likeness and image under paid license from CIC Ventures LLC, which license may be terminated or revoked according to its terms.”

  23. Owlmirror says

    And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all

    Isn’t “white lightning” slang for moonshine liquor? Whiskey? So they don’t do all that other stuff, they just get drunk?

  24. says

    Thinking about the large print part. It makes it easier for people with visual disabilities to read, which in MAGAt logic, should make it dangerously woke or something.

  25. robro says

    Owlmirror @ #30 — Yep…”White lightning” and “moonshine” and “hooch” are pretty much synonyms for homemade, illegal booze. Although you can buy products now that use those names. The good ol’ boys drink that between puffing their jays these days.

  26. stevewatson says

    The God Bless The USA Bible is the ONLY Bible inspired by America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA.

    Funny, I thought the Bible was supposed to be inspired by God — at least, that’s the doctrine I recall from way back when I was that kind of believer. And back in those days, I think I would have pointed out that these people are pretty close to running afoul of Revelation 22:18:

    I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll.

    I did always loath the eagerness of way too many American Christians to conflate America with the Kingdom of God.

  27. robro says

    Heather Cox Richardson’s newsletter this morning starts with the Baltimore bridge disaster and the Biden admin’s rapid response to it. She then goes on to point out the right-wing media (a la Alex Jones) saying the accident was deliberate and terrorist. She then points out that there’s often a monetary connection between these kind of claims and the advertising around them. She then turns to Trump’s Bible and says:

    For a long time now, America’s political right has riled people up with wild political rhetoric to get them to buy stuff. Just today, Trump began to hawk Bibles for $59.99, plus shipping and handling, with a video message saying “Religion and Christianity are the biggest things missing from this country, and I truly believe we need to bring them back…. That’s why our country’s going haywire—we’ve lost religion in our country.”

    Amen, sister! Amen.

  28. birgerjohansson says

    In Britain “sticky fingers” is sometimes an euphemism for a dishonest person, a thief.
    The president with sticky fingers sells a bible with sticky pages? Sounds consistent.

  29. Pierce R. Butler says

    … and among those immortal words, the lyrics to Greenwood’s best-selling country song, “God Save the USA.”

    From what I’ve read about this elsewhere, this line includes two errors:

    • Greenwood’s big hit has the title “God Bless the USA”;

    • Apparently the anthology sold here has only the lyrics to the chorus: the verses must’ve raised the copyright costs too high.

    Maybe they’ll issue a second release with a one-song – or one-chorus – CD in a pocket in the binding!

  30. drsteve says

    @37 I’m imagining a Rolling Stones inspired Bible that uses the cover of the Sticky Fingers album for its cover. I’d buy that.

  31. Owlmirror says

    Charles Stross has pointed out what I guess is obvious:

    https://wandering.shop/@cstross/112168712933455411

    Q: Why is Donald Trump suddenly selling $60 bibles?

    A: It enables churches to funnel money to him without violating the (US law) ban on political campaigning by churches—it’s a form of money laundering, in other words.

  32. robro says

    Owlmirror @ #39 — Interesting perspective…using the Bible to commit crime. Of course. Makes perfect sense. That would be shocking if it wasn’t some common.

  33. Reginald Selkirk says

    I own a Bible. It is occasionally useful while working a crossword puzzle. I bought it at a used book sale, so the money (which was not much at all) went to help my local library, not a grifter.

  34. birgerjohansson says

    Brony @ 43
    Now you got me associating Trump with the cute foxes at the sanctuary in SaveAFox at Youtube.
    Non-domesticated canids will mark their territory indoors. But they are less orange, and more fluffy.

  35. andywuk says

    @OwlMirror #39

    Additionally, all these grifts are guaranteed to sell out as any remaining stock is bought up by one V. Putin.

    They are indeed money laundering and I’ve got to wonder if any US agencies are following the money?

  36. robro says

    Reginald Selkirk @ #41 — I don’r own a Bible and haven’t in years. However, I have four or five bookmarks for various Bible websites including the Interlinear Bible, which provides access to about 24 versions of the Bible.

  37. tedw says

    I’m confused; is God Bless the USA our national anthem now? Do we have to stand whenever it is played or risk the wrath of dozens of keyboard warriors?

  38. birgerjohansson says

    Tedw @ 48
    Not only stand. Once Trump is re-elected he is bringing back the Bellamy salute.

  39. birgerjohansson says

    Unless the books are in the original hebrew and aramaic, I am not paying money for a paper bible.
    And they should contain an alarm that goes off when some fucking moron is displaying them upside down.

  40. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    I would expect a Trump bible to include entire chapters in ALL CAPS!

    And written in Trumpglish.

    JESUS SAID, “A BIG, STRONG MAN CAME UP TO ME WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, AND SAID, SIR, CURE MY LEPROSY. IT’S BIG LEAGUE LEPROSY. SAD!”

  41. Steve Morrison says

    America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA

    Poor Francis Scott Key—no one pays any attention to his anthem anymore.

  42. CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain says

    @birgerjohansson #50:
    Snopes: “photographs from Getty Images and The Associated Press show that Trump was holding this Bible the right way up”

  43. Kagehi says

    @54

    They must have put a picture on the teleprompter of which way was “up” just before taking the video. Though, how they got him to pay attention to it long enough to get that right, instead of wandering off into an incoherent rant is uncertain. Maybe they did it like he was a small child and put it next to a picture of Putin with is shirt off, a big bag of money, or a nude photo of someone he, “Would never date. She is not my type.”?

  44. Silentbob says

    They say it’s just because of the gilded edges, but we all know what it’s really about…

    Gilded edges you say?

    Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.

    Matthew 23:27

  45. birgerjohansson says

    Silentbob @ 57
    A quote suiting the Trump followers and MAGA cultists:

    “So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand.”
    Thukydides.

  46. annattheft says

    An idea for anyone creating a Bible like the trump Bible: When I started my second job back in the early 1980’s, my new manager asked me to create a particular diagram for a particular existing production computer program. When I asked who would use the diagram and how, the answer was unsatisfying. I created the diagram, but in the middle of page 7 of 12 I inserted a bogus component offering $25 cash to anyone who asked me for it, and referred to that component.
    After a year, a reminder I’d set popped up, so I requested [the only copy of] the diagram saying that I’d realized that I’d made a serious mistake. I discarded the diagram and never heard a thing about it again.
    Sigh …

  47. KG says

    The language of the KJV is notoriously archaic and anything but “easy reading”. – LykeX@4

    Over the past several years I have been wading slowly through the KJV (I’ve now reached Paul’s epistles – should finish in the next few months). Motivations for this were mixed – partly so I could tell Christianists* that I’ve read it, partly for historical interest (among versions I could read, the KJV has undoubtedly been the most influential culturally and politically), and partly, once started, that I dislike giving up on something I’ve decided to do. You know how frequently it is claimed that it is a great work of literature, whatever your beliefs? It’s a lie. Sure, it’s “full of quotations” – memes, if you like – but aside from the resonance they gain from being used elsewhere in literature, few even of these are anything special, and for the most part, it is mediocre or worse in terms of literary merit.

    *I have no problem with Christians, as long as they don’t proselytise; those who do are Christianists.

  48. Kagehi says

    @60 Yeah, I have heard it commented that Psalms has some decent poetry in it, but the rest is an absolute mess. But, sadly, kind of like in the other thread from PZ about books, even terrible writing will sell.

  49. Rob Grigjanis says

    KG @60: Literary merit is in the eye of the beholder. I love the language of the KJV, and of Shakespeare, even though there are lots of ‘boring bits’ in both.

    Keats obviously thought highly of Chapman’s translations of the Iliad and Odyssey (roughly contemporaneous with KJV and WS); “Silent, upon a peak in Darien” and all that. I find them unreadable.