Toughness » « I have proof that the aliens are here

Well, now I know how spiders celebrate Thanksgiving

I was in the lab this morning, and found the Steatoda borealis in an odd position: face-to-face, chelicerae almost touching, and they were pulsing. I put this pair under the microscope, and actually saw that the male had one massive palp extended all the way to the female’s epigyne, and he was literally throbbing as he pumped her full of his semen.

Jeezus, this sounds like a porn novel.

I tried to get a photo of them in the act, but wasn’t quick enough. This [sorry, no spider photo here. You can see it on my patreon or instagram] is the moment after; the male had pulled back slightly, and was busy licking his palps clean. First he puts it in the female, and then he pulls out and puts it in his own mouth — at least you won’t find that in most porn stories, I don’t think.

I’m expecting eggs in a few days now.

Toughness » « I have proof that the aliens are here

Comments

  1. Louis says

    Dr Phillip Zebedee Mhairz!

    A post about an inaccurate dildo, then a spider sex post containing, what is, in essence, a challenge to find contortionist porn. This blog has gone downhill. The perversion! The wanton, wanton perversion! Is anyone thinking of the kids that might click on this website and see the word “palps”? Or even “chelicerae”?

    We should all be Very Concerned(TM).

    Louis

    P.S. “Inaccurate Dildo? I saw them in ’73 at Knebworth supporting The Bags O’ Wank.”

  2. says

    I’m afraid PZ has been hanging around horny spiders too long. Lately he seems obsessed with sex.
    ARTICLE: Well, now I know how spiders celebrate Thanksgiving
    he male had one massive palp extended all the way to the female’s epigyne
    ARTICLE: I have proof that the aliens are here
    It’s an ad for a vibrator
    ARTICLE: I want to see the mighty sex battles
    Well, at least he hasn’t been talking about more fantasy biblical virgin births

  4. Alan G. Humphrey says

    Not long enough for a novel, but just about right for a Webhouse letter. I think ‘Webhouse Letters’ would be a great new addition to Freethought Blogs. Now who wants to start opening that male…

    … wait.

  6. John Morales says

    I tried to get a photo of them in the act, but wasn’t quick enough.

    Aww, missed out on the money shot.

  7. Walter Solomon says

    First he puts it in the female, and then he pulls out and puts it in his own mouth

    The Ron Jeremy of spiders.

  9. Louis says

    @shermanj, #3,

    I always thought that was where you take some dumplings and…

    …wait. I’ve got a link…

    {Internet kicks Louis out due to excessive filth}

    Louis

  10. says

    “Dan. DAN, knock it off! That weirdo is watching again. I can’t believe you signed the lease without asking about the neighbors.”

  11. Akira MacKenzie says

    I put this pair under the microscope, and actually saw that the male had one massive palp extended all the way to the female’s epigyne, and he was literally throbbing as he pumped her full of his semen.

    Jeezus, this sounds like a porn novel.

    Why did you stop?