You know, the result in the right column is highly publishable, while the result on the left is just boring.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
You know, the result in the right column is highly publishable, while the result on the left is just boring.
what could go wrong?
Have you scienced up a giant man-eating, air-breathing zebrafish with legs again? Is posting this cartoon a feeble attempt to soften up the world’s opinions before it’s discovered?
And with people eating plants everyone has a triffid time!!!
That should be ‘people-eating’… people eating plants just fart more.
Yikes! A gallon of RoundUp, stat!!!
Ah, but the glory of the Mad Scientific Method is that there is never a significantly failed experiment — the catch being that you actually have to be a mad scientist to use it. Maybe the experiments don’t do exactly what the experimenters thought they would do, but something always happens. Whereas if you aren’t actually a mad scientist and try the method outlined above, your experiment will just fail. (A non-mad-scientist trying the experiment above would pour their bubbling chemical on the plants, and find that it kills them. Only a real mad scientist can declare, out of nowhere, “This bubbling chemical can make plants sentient” and have it actually work. It seems unfair, somehow.)
The mildly deranged penguin points out that’s just the cartoon version of the mad scientific method. The real mad — well, really mad — scientific method is to drink a bunch of stuff, go eat some more cheese, give some cats helpful launches with the trebuchet, jump up-and-down on an unsuspecting pea (this also mixes up the stuff previously drunk), eat yet more cheese, jump in a barrel of port for a nap (and a convenient place to hide from the stampeding walruses), then write several furious letters to the Nobel committees complaining they haven’t yet awarded you your seventeenth prize.
If the number of volcano lairs and willing minions is anything to go by, it’s also a lot easier to get funding for Mad Science.
I, for one, welcome our new people-eating plant overlords.
The trick to mad science is having a mad lab assistant, who gets eaten by the sentient plants, lasered by the sharks or engulfed by the giant amoeba. Just make sure they keep detailed notes so you don’t have to start from scratch every time that happens. Having to hire replacements then becomes an indicator of impending success: If someone had to sweep up the assistant the death ray is almost ready.
I’m sure every mad scientist has one of these (an assistant, death rays being a matter of taste), they just get very little air-time from Hollywood because they think the mad henchman-in-chief is more interesting. As if…
I practice the mad scientific method whenever I rationalize eating 6 donuts in one sitting, I haven’t turned up diabetic yet, thus I’ve concluded my invincibility.
Yer probably eating the infidel kind, instead of the holely kind. Infidel donuts can be stuffed with jam (e.g.) to distract you, but the critical point is the hole. Holely donuts are a blessing; infidel donuts, lacking holeliness, are an abomination.
@blf(#11):
I can only accept that as further proof of god’s grace and thus I renounce atheism(hey, it’s just another religion after all!) and return to the gracious donut filler, jesus christ, my protector from the sugar consequence.
*speaks in gibberish that everyone should acknowledge as meaningful*
Have we ever established why frogs with no legs go deaf?