A young woman found a dead ray washed up on a beach and took this photo:
She claims it looks like Jesus (how would she know?).
I hope she picked it up and took it home, to wait for it to resurrect three days later.
Did she do the obvious experiment?
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
To me, it looks a bit like I’ve always pictured Treebeard. That probably says something unfortunate about my subconscious.
Okay…how the hell is she getting Jesus out of that? *Stares* Oh, I get it. That’s damn silly.
That’s not Jesus, that’s Ron Perlman, stretched along the Y axis.
It looks like a dead ray to me. But then I’ve seen both live and dead rays before.
No! She can’t take it home! Imagine zombie stingrays!!!
Jesus Ray! Now there’s an idea for a B movie!
Obviously, you’re not looking at it through your Jesus-shaped pupils.
That’s not Jesus. That’s Chuck Norris.
pentatomid:
Great. Now I’m imagining JTHM* shooting Jesus rays out of his eyes instead of lasers.
*Johnny The Homicidal Maniac.
I’m with dianne – I had to look again to get the facial pareidoilia, but my first thought was also Treebeard.
Well, it’s much more life-like than the Shroud of Turin.
Thats uncannily like PZ’s twitter avatar, complete with the angel wings!
Tommy Chong.
(I was all excited since I first read that as a “death ray” she’d found washed up on the beach. Man, would I have uses for one of THOSE…)
Looks like Jerry Garcia to me.
To be fair to the woman who found it, she just thought it looked like a bearded hobo. But, as I pointed out, the first rule of Christian pareidolia is that any vaguely person-shaped thing is obviously Jesus.
Looks like George Carlin to me.
I see a Viking warrior – maybe it’s a sign from Thor?
I bet it also smelled like Jesus. If it looks like a jesus and smells like a jesus… How can you explain that unless this is Jesus?
KG:
More likely Ægir, God of the sea and all that.
And the body was taken down off of the cross and brought to the tomb. There they did wash Him and anoint Him with perfumes. Verily did they then wrap His face in a dead stingray.
Yeah, I see it. He’s doing his Frankie Howerd impression – very popular in Palestine in the 0th century and particularly amenable to the medium of dead fish skin.
The forked beardy thing does make it look kinda like an Eastern icon.
Meaning of course that Western Catholic Church was indeed wrong in the Great Schism, while Eastern Orthodoxy is the one true Christianity. Nice to get that settled once and for all.
How can you explain that unless this is Jesus?
“Can’t believe it’s not Jesus…”
(Can you tell by the taste?)
Is that woman stupid or blind? Can’t she see it’s mud, not water? And rays don’t walk, anyway.
Meanwhile, for some reason this Jesus apparition was largely ignored by the international clergy.
Jesus appears to have a penis-shaped nose.
She’s seen the toast. Duh.
[OT]
I drove by his ranch in Navasota, Texas today. Navasota is a little more upscale than I expected.
[/OT]
If I squint, I can see a rather elongated face. Someone’s been fiddling with the lord’s aspect ratio again.
Autumn:
And it was a miracle they found one in the desert! A bonafide mirakul!
That’s not Jesus. It’s my uncle, Paavo.
Someone’s been fiddling with the lord’s aspect ratio again.
Wish they’d turn up the brightness on his followers instead.
It was left behind by the Great Flood, after all the water went…wherever the hell it went.
Funny, I see JC, too. But it’s more of a cartoony version, like Buddy Christ. And he has a bruised eye.
OK Christians. Two can play at this game:
Shai-hulud!
Awwwww… hell! Either I’ve forgotten all of my HTML or tags work differently here. Anyway, here’s the link:
http://www.shadowlocked.com/2010022198/offworld/dune-fossilised-spice-worm-in-new-mexico.html
Sorry.
It took me a moment, but I *think* I see where Jesus is. Wow. Pareidolia much? Hmm, where else do people see Jebus?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/8982533/Images-of-Jesus-Christ-and-other-religious-figures-seen-in-everyday-objects.html?image=10
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01475/mars_1475041f.jpg
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01709/Picture-2_1709646c.jpg
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01595/jesus-frying-pan_1_1595669c.jpg
___________________________________________________
Pentatomid @6:
-Sounds great. Let’s toss in some extraterrestrial murderous clowns and a few oversized killer tomatoes and this could be a fun B movie (would there be room for a certain Toxic Avenger or should we wait for the sequel?)
Nah, it’s Steve Irwin having the last laugh. Crikey!
Me too! Which, of course, calls for the obligatory Charles Addams cartoon.
Tony, would you please stop fucking bolding comments you are replying to? Quoting is sufficient, as people here do manage to read the comments, ya know.
ogremeister @33:
-Well, his face did get smooshed to fit onto a stingray, so he got lucky with only a bruised eye. I wonder if the Vatican will confiscate the ray, embalm it, stuff it, and mount it next to the shroud of turin…
Well at least most of them… ;)
Looks more like a worried Bruce Forsyth in a wig.
Caine,
My apologies. I thought I was being helpful in showing a clear separation between the post I’m quoting and my response.
I second Ron Perlman.
For a being that is infinitely powered, any action that you can imagine is finite, and would therefore take infinitely small effort to do. Yet God chooses to show up not in rainbows or on the surface of the sun or even where people can actually just see the fucker and say hi, but on toast, dog’s asses, water stains or dead animals. She didn’t see the face of the Lord on a ray as it swam through majestic beams of light under the sea, she saw him on its rotting corpse!
That’s not Jesus. That’s Gregg Allmann. Duh.
Why would you care if someone bolded something? It’s not like they drooled bold all over your comment…
Ray wing with black butter sauce, and a nice fennel/orange salad.
Chust the thing for
PassoverEostrecelabratory Spring lunchOnly if Jesus had the world’s most cleft chin and also a penis for a nose.
That’s not jesus, that’s John Lennon, The Bearded Years, complete with wire-rimmed spectacles.
Or its a dead ray…
It took me a while to see the “face,” but it doesn’t look like any Jesuses I’ve ever seen. The face looks way too long to even be considered human. Have to agree with Markita Lynda @48: “Only if Jesus had the world’s most cleft chin and also a penis for a nose.”
I bet if there was someone or something that looked like the what Jesus was based on (a Jewish man living in the first century), no Christians would “recognize” him/it. (Wasn’t there something that NatGeo put out some time ago that used some kind of technology to create a 3D picture of Jesus’s face?) It’s only because of the works of arts that imagined how he looked that people come to recognize as Jesus. Wouldn’t it be funny if this image came to be used in the future as the face of “Jesus” though?
More like a “stupid ray.”
Far more destructive.
Given the evidence for Jesus’ existance in the first place, I’m not about to rule out the possibility that if he did exist he had the world’s most cleft chin and also a penis for a nose.
More like Obi Wan Kenobi!
Crikey! That’s the ray that killed Steve Irwin!
It was so distraught afterward it invited Jesus into its heart. There wasn’t enough room in the two-chambered heart so he lived on its back instead.
No, wait. That’s the mirror image of Osama bin Laden. When they dumped his body overboard, his face hit the back of the ray and left that tattoo.
No, wait. It’s the Ray of Turin.
Did he have to get his nose circumsized, too?
@asidity, #53: Funny, I thought it looked a whole lot more like Count Dooku in his animated Clone Wars incarnation.
Looks like a Picasso to me.
Jimmy Carl Black, late 60s, while playing for the Mothers. I guess he came back as a dead ray. Now tell me, where is my waitress?
Who are we to criticize her if thinking that’s Jesus gives her some ray comfort?
I like how she originally thought it just looked like a bearded homeless guy, until her friends were like, “Nope: Jesus!” heh…
Some people have only set their pattern recognition skills to Jeebus mode. No wonder they think God is everywhere. Everything looks like Jeebus. Including the booger I just picked out of my nose.
It’s the second coming of Jim Henson!
Can’t wait to see how much it gets on eBay.
Looks more like a stereotypical hippie to me. But you know, sophisticated theology and all.
That’s not Jesus.
[singing]
He doesn’t look a thing like Jeeeesuuuuus,
But he
Talks like a gentleray
[/singing]
Jesus Ray. Is that a song by the Velvet Underground?
Duck and Sally inside
They’re cooking for the down five
Who’re staring at Miss Rayon
Who’s busy licking up her big man
I’m searching for my mainline
I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
Ah, it’s just like Jesus Ray says
amazing rays
how sweet the sound…
I’m seeing George Harrison.
If that was a jesusray, though, that’d explain why it’s dead. Walking on water is probably more of a bug than a feature to marine life.
It’s obviously Alan Moore.
Aaarrrgghh! Ahoy thar me hearties.
That not be little Jimmy Jeebus now, that thar be me ol’ Cap’n Davy Jones afor ‘ee wuz cursed. I’d knows him anywhars. He’s even wearin’ ‘is fav-o-rite three-corner. A rem-aaahhh-kable likeness that be now, me kippers.
As I said before, that’s not Jesus, it’s actor Jim Caviezel.
@alttaawiil says:
Ok, I’m going to
runswim with that ‘un :Ahhhh-mazin’ rays
How sweet the smell
That washed up dead on a beeeach
I once swam wild but now am bloated
And perhaps shall be coooked for tea!
@Zinc Avenger – 5th April 2012 at 7:27 pm:
Da! Definitely Dooku!
Nice camel-toe on that Jesus. Guess I have different pareidolia.
Yep, this bugs me … My Savior was obviously Afritic or Arabic in origin, so to assume that shades on the back of a ray might resemble a Caucasian, and therefor “religious” image, is a bit insulting. Just saying.
It looks like an Easter Island Head to me.
Jesus. No also available in dead fish. Be aware of the smell.
Nice.
Thats Jesus Ray, but where is Billy Ray and Bobby Ray.
looks like don quixote to me.
I was hoping she’d stick it to the back of her car.
It’s bad enough that we ascribe our feelings to animals, now we’re pushing beliefs on them too.
Aw, doesn’t anyone feel bad about the poor little ray? It looks to be a cownosed ray and ever so much prettier than a stingray. They are such graceful swimmers. Seems disrespectful to impose an ugly human face over the elegant morphology of a creature that is handsome even in death.
Xenithrys wins the thread.
Jesus has chin-balls like Peter Griffin? I guess that would explain how Family Guy has been raised from the dead twice.
Is it Steve Irwin, and the ray is saying sorry?
If it truly paralleled the Jesus story, the stingray would also turn out to be an insufferable, narcissistic pissant, so I can understand not wanting to take it home.
It looks like the dead Russian Hellboy carried around in the movie.
Did this Ray spend 30 days in a trench being tempted by a Devil Ray?
hiho2go:
Could be. After all, he was more popular.
Also gives a whole new meaning to the red carpet question, “Who are you wearing?”
@Markita Lynda—it’s Spring after the Winter that wasn’t (#48):
Well, didn’t Jesus tell us that “blessed are the big-noses”?
I have not read the whole thread so someone may have already said this. I think it looks like ‘Some grey bloke’.
I’m reminded of a craw fish I saw that had seemingly a meticulous natural image of the crucifixion in the chitin
While I do not think it looks like Jesus, I think that the supernatural vision can not be denied. This is obviously the face of the king of the cosmos.
It’s not me.
Always knew there was something fishy about Jesus
I’m onto her. If you flip that ray over, it has a crystal clear image of Mohammed on the other side. So to avoid controversy she’s made sure we only see this side, and tried to convince us that the vague smudge can be interpreted as a depiction of Jesus.
Or perhaps there’s been too many Satan faces in the clouds, and the sea creatures have to produce some holy messiah visages just to balance out the world’s spiritual equilibrium.
pipenta @ 82 gets it right. A Cow-nosed ray, not a stingray. They do have a small barb but are not as dangerous as stingrays because they do not settle on the bottom where you are likely to step on them. I’ve seen some fairly large schools of them cruising the shoreline in the Gulf of Mexico near my home.
It looks like Mok (from “Rock & Rule”)
-paz
You doesn’t hafta call it Johnson.
How come evolutionists never see the face Darwin on toast or dead rays? And Tony, using bold is cool with me.
I get a young Donald Sutherland myself.
Nahh, it looks like Saruman.