Would you believe that Greta Christina of Greta Christina’s Blog, Hemant Mehta of Friendly Atheist, Jen McCreight of Blag Hag, and JT Eberhard of Zerowing21, after the severe beat-down I gave them and even before they had belatedly dragged themselves over the finish line in our race to raise money for Camp Quest, are now changing the terms of our competition and saying that the winner is whoever raises the most money by the end of this month?

No fair, I say! Moving the goalposts, I complain! Just like a bunch of dastardly atheists, I declare. Well, I will just have to lazily raise another tentacle and crush them again. The widget will be up on the sidebar all month, and I’ll periodically remind you to contribute, again.

And remember, if it’s annoying you like an NPR fundraising campaign, it’s their fault. I wouldn’t reward them for their obnoxious behavior if I were you — funnel all your donations through me, the nice guy who would rather not harrass you, unlike Greta, Hemant, Jen, and JT.

I can’t just beg without giving you some reward. Here, behold the fate of those who oppose me.