A trite phenomenon is taking place in a church in Bakersfield:

According to Tom Dorlis, the vice president of the parish council for St. George Greek Orthodox Church, back in 2007, around the time of the financial crisis, a portrait of the Virgin Mary, from Hawaii, started to cry an oily substance that smells like roses. Parishioners at the church, located at the intersection of Truxton Avenue and ‘U’ Street, said there’s no doubt that the weeping icon is a gift from god, whether you’re a believer or not.

I doubt it.

That phrase, “around the time of the financial crisis”, tells me everything I need to know.

It’s a regular business.

The icon- originally from Hawaii- is a smaller copy of the ancient original which has been at a monastery in Greece for over a millennium. Other copies have been produced in Montreal and Moscow. Some of those weep myrrh as well.

I wonder if they come with instructions on how to put a drop of a thick, oily substance on the painting at night, when no parishioners are around, so that it will ooze fragrantly during the day, when they are? Seriously, anyone taken in by the ancient stunt of the weeping/bleeding statue/painting is a frackin’ moron.