Uh-oh. Gregory Paul has analyzed the proportions of the image on the Shroud of Turin, and come to some troubling conclusions.
This note is intended to describe why, from an artistic and anatomical perspective, the shroud image is an embarrassingly obvious fraud committed by a Gothic artist following the standard conventions of his time. The artistic errors are so severe that it is impossible for the shroud to record the image of an actual human body–unless it was a very seriously pathological person with a brain the size of a Homo erectus.
So Jesus was a hypocephalic cretin? You know, this makes Michael Moorcock’s Behold the Man even more prophetic.
Spoiler alert! [In the book, a time-traveler discovers the actual Jesus born of Mary and Joseph is a hapless mentally retarded man…and he ends up taking his place on the cross.]
So if that really is Jesus, he was a troglodyte?
Awesome
I’m getting a 404 on that link.
http://secweb.infidels.org/article815.html/
Remove the final / to get it to work
Link failure…sad.
No, just those who believe in that fictitious tale.
Pathologically Hypocephalic Jesus. That could explain some of his ardent followers.
Ha! Even Neandertals had larger brains than Jesus.
By the way, have you heard? Some of us are still Neandertals! Cool, huh?
http://johnhawks.net/weblog/reviews/neandertals/neandertal_dna/neandertals-live-genome-sequencing-2010.html
This link is fine: http://secweb.infidels.org/article815.html
So humans evolved and god did not?
Is there a Shroud of Milan (or Palma or some other Italian city, possibly Naples or Messina) which was used to wrap Brian’s body? It seems as reasonable as a shroud for Jebus.
I love that book (then again, I pretty much love all Moorcock (and you can leave the juvenile name humour behind, trust me, it’s already been said)), but I’ve found it a damned shame how hard it is to find a copy, even in these Interweb-enabled days. I guess it’s underrated by some people, or something.
Myers, you GOTTA comment on this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/07/science/07neanderthal.html?hp=&pagewanted=all
I read that Moorcock story… It was great… I think it won a Nebula award. I know I read it in a Nebula Awards collection… I just don’t remember if it won…
So, who suffers more; Jesus the Christ or Elric the Albino?
Janine,
I’d say Elric. He certainly suffers much longer and in numerous ways. His death is also unpleasant.
Does this ever happen to you? You show up for a blind date only to find your partner thinks you don’t measure up? Tired of expensive gym memberships? Ever wondered if there’s a better way?
Well – there is! Introducing new Shroud of Spokesgay ™, the garment that makes you a God©! Shroud of SpokesGay is guaranteed to distort your proportions or your money back.
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Just listen to what satisfied customers have to say:
“My boyfriend was the proverbial 90-pound weaking until Shroud of SpokesGay came along. With just one swaddling, his man-parts swelled to an anatomically improbable size, completely out of proportion to a realistic male body. Our marriage has never been better,” – Jim Bunnie
But wait – there’s more! The first 100 callers will receive a Shroud of SpokesGay Snuggie, absolutely free!
Is there a Shroud of Spokesgay Hoodie?
#9
Janine, sounds like a reasonable hypothesis to me.
Of course not, ‘Tis. SpokesGay Industries is a class act.
*mutters about bald pate and a cooler near the lake effect…*
Baseball caps?
So…Jesus was a microcephalic Erectus with dozens of penises?
The jokes…they write themselves….
Of course, the obvious explanation is that it really was Jesus; the shroud was just made while his body was transitioning from human to zombie form. I mean, isn’t it obvious that the shroud looks far more like a half-man half-zombie than anything mortal?
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
I’ve never actually looked at it before, but it is really off. The bizarrely different lengths of his forearms alone should ring an alarm bell to anyone who looks at it. Anyone who’s taken a basic anatomy or drawing class couldn’t look at that and think it came from a real person. I’m sort of surprised, I would have thought it’d be… better.
Nerd, you need something more classy then a baseball cap.
The confidence to wear one’s self the way one is is far more attractive. When I see a man wearing a baseball cap all the time, regardless of context, in an obvious attempt to hide his baldness (and it is obvious to everyone), I feel a little embarrassed.
Don’t sell yourself short.
How about a Shawl of SpokesGay?
Yes! Great addition to the product line, thank you ‘Tis. I need to help out ma drag sistas.
I’m bald on top and I wear a baseball cap to keep the Sun off my bald spot. A sunburned top of the head is rather painful. Besides, I like how I look wearing a ball cap.
Josh, I must admit to a certain amount of trepidation. What would happen to either of my two resident deities should I carelessly leave a Shroud of SpokesGay™ laying around and one (or both) takes a nap on top of it?
Would the world come crashing to an end as giant pouncing paws came playfully smashing down on everything? Would future alien visitors wonder how skyscrapers came to have fang holes in their sides — never mind the fact that their positions indicate they were batted hundreds of miles?
I’m not so sure this is such a hot idea….
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
If you are referring to Kittehs, the same thing would happen to them as would happen to any bipedal user of Shroud of SpokesGay ™ – they’d become hawt1
1 Shroud of SpokesGay is not approved for use with quadrupeds.
Thanks for the warning, Josh. Here in the Sonoran Desert, we’ve already got all the hawt we can handle…I’d hate to be the one responsible for igniting feline fusion….
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Awww…but Josh!
I LIKE hoodies! :(
But to be fair, I dress like a thug.
Hoodies, baggy marc ecko jeans and beanies.
I’m the worst gay man ever. :(
KJ
There were lots of idols made of cloth including dozens of hankies with badly painted faces of jebus on them; it was a common idol in the middle ages. I forget the dumbass saint who supposedly wiped the sweat and blood of jebus’ face but supposedly that hankie had his face imprint, too – but there were several of them, and the artwork was about as sophisticated as xkcd.
Faith is an IQ test.
@KillJoy:
Yes, yes, you are. Baggy jeans and hoodies? That’s just silly on anyone.:) I’m no longer a clothes-horse myself (after you turn 30, you discover some things are actually more interesting than what you wear), but I draw the line somewhere.
Josh, OSG:
Even Chad Allen?
Josh;
Is there some sort of act of contrition I have to make or something to get ‘right with the gay’ again?
Yesterday Louis cured my gay on the Rekers thread, and today I found out I’m the worst gay man ever!
Coincidence? Hmmmmm.
KJ
So, as long as this thread has gone so totally far off-topic, mind if I drive it a bit further afield?
It seems to me that LGBT people tend to be more unashamedly “out” in atheist discussion groups than elsewhere. As a straight guy (and I hope there’s nothing worng with that), I don’t quite understand. Best I can figure is that atheists generally aren’t bogged down with all that religious “YHWH hates fags!” bullshit and really don’t give much of a damn who somebody would rather sleep with; so why not just let it all hang out? Or is it because atheists also have direct experience with being a hated and often-closeted minority that there’s more sympathy for the general cause?
Am I on the right track(s)? Any pointers for enlightenment?
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Ben, I can only speak for myself, I’ve been out for many decades and I’m not about to stuff myself in a closet for anyone else’s comfort. I feel the same way about being an atheist. Change does not happen because people stay quiet and in the closet. It happens because you stand up, with your head high, expecting to be treated as a human being. People need to be confronted with their discomfort and the net is a conducive atmosphere to that end.
Took me awhile to figure out your invisible ink, PZ…
More evidence that any old retard can make a fortune from religion. Or that religion is for the mentally challenged.
Caine, that makes perfect sense for being out, but that’s not quite what I’m wondering about.
Rather than, “Why would somebody be ‘out,’” I’m wondering, “Why are there so many more ‘out’ people in a group of atheists?”
The out part I totally get. It’s the disproportionality I don’t understand. I’m sure it’s not the case that there’s a higher percentage of LGBT people amongst atheists than in the general population, but there certainly appears to be a higher percentage of vocal LGBT people amongst atheists than in the general population.
(Or perhaps my sampling is way off. No clue. It’s why I’m wondering out loud.)
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Can’t speak from the gay perspective myself, but I would say that atheists have a greater respect for other people’s autonomy. Basically, someone else’s sex life is none of my business.
This may not seem to fit with the reputation for intolerance that atheists have in the Christian community. That’s because it is my business when people tell other people, especially me or mine, what to do based on self-righteous fantasies about an invisible master or friend.
You may be interested that Australian journalist Robert Macklin wrote a book called ‘The Secret Life of Jesus’ in 1990, that used biblical texts to suggest Jesus may well not have been much to look at.
And also that he was a deluded individual – which is certainly how we’d see anyone else who behaved like him in our era – who died on the cross believing that his sacrifice would bring about God’s Kingdom on earth immediately, not at some abstract future point.
Making ‘My god, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ one of the most plaintive cries in human history.
I think, Ben, that you’re just in the middle of a generally vocal crowd to begin with here on this blog, and in many other atheists groups. So that would skew the perception a little.
Its not that there are more vocal ‘out’ people in these groups so much as the group(s) are just made up of generally gregarious folks. At least, thats the way it appears to me.
KJ
Man, I haven’t been to infidels.org in ages, and the site looks more or less the same. It’s in serious need of a Web 2.0 overhaul.
Does anybody remember TNA (The Net Atheists) from the 90s? I had my web site linked.
Ben:
That could well be, but I’m unaware of any stats. ;) I do think it has a lot to do with life experiences of isolation, rejection, people viewing you as less than human, less deserving. Those types of experiences tend to make a person pretty damn vocal. Atheists get the same reactions in a lot of cases, we’re viewed as suspect, immoral, evil, unpatriotic, yada, yada, yada. A lot of people face rejection from family if they come out as atheist, etc. There are a lot of similarities.
Atheists tend to value human rights and as such, fully support the LGBT community, so it’s a bit of a safe haven.
??? What!
How about Iceberg! Iceberg! Dead ahead
Shortly thereafter, the Titanic hit the iceberg and 1523 people drowned in very cold water.
Josh OSG and ‘Tis: I’m balding; I sunburn easily; I have a melanoma survivor in the family who lost an ear; a former work colleague lost his wife to melanoma — she went from apparently perfectly healthy to dead in ten days. So I wear floppy hats all summer, but not to hide my baldness. I like having something in common with Adlai Stevenson, and I have to health insurance.
When is the Obama I voted for going to show up?
I think atheists are generally more open-minded. Plus, realizing you’re gay when you’re from a religious background is something that can cause you to question your faith. I would not be surprised if questioning your sexuality was very closely linked with questioning your faith, though for me it was kind of backwards. Becoming atheist removed the stigma of thinking about sexuality and there was less reason to be defined in a specific way.
Using my psychic powers to channel Bill Donohue:
The figure obviously doesn’t have the right proportions for a Homo Sapiens, and yet nobody noticed – therefore God! The analysis is also wrong because it assumes that evolution is true, and everyone knows it’s only a theory.
the bill, that sounds like interesting fan faction.
You do, of course, understand that the whole thing is fiction, don’t you?
Never mind the whole “Why didn’s Philo notice Jesus?” matter, or any of the other innumerable insurmountable problems with the theory that there’s any “there” there. This story itself points to what should, in and of itself, be proof as iron-clad as one ever gets in history.
The article skirts very close to it, but never draws the obvious conclusions. It admits that nobody has even a vague clue what Jesus looked like. And that fact, right there, is all one needs to know that the story is entirely made up.
Humans are fascinated with appearances. Actual eyewitness accounts are scattered with unthinking references to them. Whether Jesus towered over the crowds at the Mount and all could see him, or if those at the back craned their necks to catch a glimpse of him, somebody would have recorded the fact. And his clear blue eyes would have pierced somebody with the truths he was revealing, or his warm brown eyes would have consoled the person he was healing. You get the idea.
For about as much as many people spend on a mortgage payment, you can buy a coin, minted while Julius Caesar was alive, with his likeness on it. And it’s a pretty accurate likeness, too, based on comparisons with all the other statues, sculptures, and what-not that also survives. Countless other historical figures of far less importance than we are to believe Jesus held also had their likenesses immortalized.
And yet, not even a passing reference to a single physical trait of Jesus — let alone a bust or portrait — exists. Shit, there aren’t even mentions of mentions of of anything like that.
It’s perfectly consistent with all the other gods of the era, and perfectly inconsistent with humans of the era.
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Damn! I previewed that!
echidna, KJ, Caine, ashleyfmiller, thanks for the ideas. They all make sense. I suspect the reality is a mixture of “all of the above” and then some.
Anybody else want to type something more, I’m all eyes.
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Is it true that neanderthals introduced the red-hair gene into human population like some research suggests?
Why would neanderthals be red-haired in the first place?
You mean there are Teh Gheyz posting here?
Gosh Darn all them to H- E double-Hockey-Sticks!
Next thing you know there’ll be them damn Atheists posting here. Why eveybody knows they’re all goin to the other place !
/Poe
@ Tis & Josh OSGOM
The Shawl of Spokesgay could be a “reason shawl” lovingly handcrafted by atheist knitters, weavers, or crocheters. They could provide warmth and comfort to rational individuals who are ill, bereaved, or otherwise in need of connection to the atheist world while they are besieged by theists bearing Prayer Shawls.
Speaking of annoying the sick, weren’t all the comforters of Job theists?
Anywhere outside of the South as quickly as possible?
CNN Poll on National Day of Prayer!
Let’s Pharyngulate this poll!
http://www.cnn.com/US/
Should National Day of Prayer still be observed?
Can’t go for a beret, or a Mythie Jamie will be after me. I don’t attempt to hide my baldness (after father, grandfather, and great-grandfather I could see the hair loss in the genes), but rather a little extra warmth as a lot of heat can be lost by a bald head compared to a haired head. My office runs cold in the winter, and a cap helps helps. In the summer, protection from sunburn when outdoors. The visor also helps with my light sensitive eyes, keeping the eyes out of direct sunlight.
@edhensley
Someone needs to explain to CNN that some people would say “No, it’s illegal” rather than simply controversial.
@Caine:
Yes, dear, even him.:)
@Ben Goren:
My experience is, obviously, anecdotal, so take it for what it’s worth (or not). Yes, I too find that gay/lesbian/queer/trans people feel more free to be out in an atheist crowd. I think you’re right that most atheists aren’t bogged down with religious problems about sexuality.
There are a few atheists who are hung up about homosexuality – and make up all sorts of ridiculous pseudoscientific excuses to justify their “ick” reaction – but they’re the exception.
Demographically, outspoken atheists are more likely to be left-leaning politically, supportive of gay rights, supportive of women’s rights to control their bodies (meaning yes, they’re for abortion when a woman wants one), etc.
That’s not really surprising.
I’m very impressed by the number of atheist/secular/humanist organizations that unashamedly stand up for womens’ rights/queer rights, even though those are “not central to their mission.” You’ll find that secular/atheist groups less of a problem standing up for human rights for oppressed minorities than other “leftie” groups that are worried about currying favor with religious people.
..the Irish hadn’t been invented yet and Cro Magnon’s had to have someone to take the piss out of?
At the risk of posting On-Topic: It always struck me as odd that the image on the supposed shroud was a projection of a human body and not a map/net as you would expect if the shroud had been wrapped around a body.
It’s as if the creator of the shroud thought the winding sheet was ‘wound’ so that it was a perfectly flat plane above and below the body and somehow the image transferred via some sort of photographic process and not via contact with the body. At least that’s my interpretation.
The alternative is that the sheet was indeed wrapped around the body and Jesus was neither a time-traveller, a hydro-cephalic or an alien but instead a visitor from flat-land…
Ben Goren @40
I think it’s the marriage of two separate phenomenon.
1) A lot of religions are bigoted towards LGBT people and actively show it. Thus a goodly number of LGBT people end up sharing that antipathy right back at religion and often end up non-affiliated, in atheist friendly religions like paganism or UU, or strong atheists. While we do love our “our church supports gay people” contingents in the Pride Parades, I’d wager a disproportionate number of LGBT people are atheist identified or at least strongly allied with atheist movements because of the power structure they’re both fighting.
2) Again, religions are bigoted, which means LGBT people assume subconsciously that arenas with less religion will be less likely to be bigoted and thus are “safer” to speak out in. Basically in openly religious arenas, there’s a tendency to think twice before speaking because you might flip over a rock and find a bigot or worse yet nothing but bigots and most people aren’t really looking for a fight if they don’t have the energy for it. So in non-religious arenas (at least non-libertarian ones), one can feel freer to speak one’s mind because the likelihood that the rocks have bigots seems far less likely because of the diminished religious garbage.
Now, while those may be the broader regions, it’s also just the case here that a bunch of naturally out LGBT people have made this blog their home. A bunch of us posting are the type to speak frankly about ourselves most everywhere we go, especially on the web. And by the power of openness, once a handful of powerfully out people have blazed the trail, other people feel more comfortable being out and being more honest about their attractions and soon you have a “safe space” to be oneself.
#62
What, you mean like a two dimensional construction with visible form but no substance? Sounds spot on to me – I think you might be onto something here ;)
Re:#57 CNN Poll on National Day of Prayer!
Let’s Pharyngulate this poll!
http://www.cnn.com/US/
Should National Day of Prayer still be observed?
Well I did my bit. The rest of you slackers get on it.
The Moorcock book was given to me by an atheist friend of mine while I was still a Christian. Good guy. If I remember right, he actually got me a signed copy. I still have it, of course, but I haven’t re-read it since my deconversion. I should do that.
Ben, another anecdote here FWIW. I’m not, er, indifferent is the best word I guess, to other folks sexual preferences because I’m atheist. I’m an atheist because, at least in part, I’m indifferent to other folk’s sexual preferences.
I was raised a-religiously, it just never came up in my family. I never really gave it much though as a kid. So my first close contact with religion came when my brother became a pentecostal fundie. (And that’s the reason you have to teach your kids critical thinking, ’cause just ignoring religion isn’t enough.)
I looked at his beliefs and realized that I despised the narrow-minded bigotry of most of them. And that forced me to investigate what I did believe, and that made me the atheist I am today.
All of this is to say that perhaps part of the reason that GBLT folks are more outspoken in atheist circles is because the hetero folks in those circles are predisposed to be indifferent to other people’s sexual preferences. Which, I now realize, is what other commenters have said so I’ll shut up now.
@ Ben Goren
The gay marriage thing is what turned me into one of them “New Atheists”. I’m 55, in the olden days it was in my best interest to be low-keyed about being atheist.
But these fuckity-fuck holier-than-thou religionist homophobes really started to piss me off. Claiming some moral high ground to excuse bigotry (gawd sez!!) makes my blood boil. I hate those fuckers.
And I think I can speak for other atheists when I say homophobia is just one more irrational symptom of suffering from the gawd delusion and that being a rational thinker/atheist precludes such bigotry. Hence, atheist sites are “gay friendly”.
Hey guys! I actually have something constructive (and on-topic) to say…
If you follow the links in the article to the Wiki images of the shroud, look at the right hand – that’s not a human hand. The index and middle fingers are of equal length and the ring finger is only half the length of the index finger! Now look at your own hand – is that right?
And where’s the thumb? When I hold my hand flat across my body, my thumb is easily on the same plane as the other fingers, yet on the shroud there’s no hint of the thumb. There isn’t even a bulge where the base of the thumb should be – hah!
It’s a lie! It’s a lie! It’s a lie!
Josh and Cerberus, thanks for the analyses. Makes sense.
I must admit, the “‘ick’ reaction” never did make much sense to me. I mean, sure, I have an “‘ick’ reaction” when I think about sex with a guy, but it’s no different from the “‘ick’ reaction” I have when I think about, say, sex with my mother. I love her dearly, I admire her, I respect her, and I’m absolutely delighted and honored to have her as my mother. But sex with her? ICK!
And I’m sure I can’t be alone in that. Don’t we all experience “‘ick’ reactions” when contemplating sex with people of a gender our sexual orientations would otherwise indicate we should be attracted to? There must be many lesbians and straight men here who would think, “ICK!” at the thought of sex with either or both Barbara Bush or Ruth-Bader Ginsberg, and yet most will admire or at least respect at least one of the two. And many gay men, I’m sure, must think, “ICK!” when contemplating sex with even the loveliest of ladies.
So what the fuck does it matter that thinking of sex with a man makes me feel “ICK!”? Unless he’s propositioning me, how does that have even the slightest bearing on anything whatsoever? Really, what is it relevant to, why does it even hit anybody’s radar?
I dunno. Maybe if there’s a former homophobe out there who can shed some light on it, it’ll make more sense.
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Ben, your ick made me laugh, because there’s a young man who has been in the endless thread who calls sex ick due to having been raised religious, and he’s barely getting over considering hetero sex as a nice, normal thing because he was taught to be so hung up about it. ;D
FossilFishy, I can see how an experience like that would make one critically examine (and re-examine) all sorts of things. Makes sense that somebody rational enough to realize there aren’t any (non-feline, non-solar, non-Unicoriitarian, non-starchy, non-Pesci) gods is also rational enough to realize that the only reasons to “hate fags” come from those same false gods.
Kamaka, I suppose it wouldn’t occur to me to single out religious homophobic bigotry from all the other insanities and pathologies of religion, but I don’t think I’m especially surprised that it could be a big tipping point, either. I mean, sure, by itself, it’s indictment enough…but there’s so much to choose from, you know what I mean?
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
On the ICK factor – I had a great conversation yesterday with my son, who had just discovered that plumbing fixtures were labeled as “male” and “female”. He thought it was unbelievably funny that this plumbing argument was actually advanced as a serious justification for why heterosexuality is god’s chosen plan. Plus he thought it was pretty ICK that someone decided that sex should be used to identify hose and pipe fittings, which it sort of is.
Cane, now that’s truly ICK-worthy! Somebody who thinks all sex is icky? ICK!
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Ick! I just mistyped an attribution!
Sorry, Caine…
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
Mattir
I used to go out with a beautiful looking but dumb as fuck, catholic, plumber apprentice (I was 21, which I proffer as an explanation, not an excuse) who actually thought some tubey things he was using were called “male” and “female” because of some innate strength they either possessed or didn’t. In other words he thought the “male” pieces were called that because they were somehow stronger.
When I explained ( in monosyllabic words) the reason was the insertability or otherwise of the end pieces of the tubey things he was silent for a moment and went bright red in some form of embarassment. To this day I’m pretty sure he thought I was making it all up.
.. so off topic but I thought I’d share (apart from the chick I worked with who actually thought the fax paper somehow went thought the phone lines) that he was the dumbest living human being I’ve ever encountered.
Ben @71
I’m not sure that’s a universal. I’m asexual so no sexual attraction to either sex and my response is fairly neutral to most hypotheticals or approaches. It’s a thing, hello thing. This reaction doesn’t seem entirely uncommon in the asexual community.
Ben @75
Of course, following that up, there are also asexuals who indeed have the ick when thinking about all sex or all thoughts of sex involving them. As you say, just a natural extension.
This of course doesn’t apply to people like the poor man in the endless thread who have a sexual orientation but have been so attacked by religious shame that it’s very hard to trust in it. My partner has a lot of sexual baggage coming from being raised in a emotionally abusive catholic extended family and then going through several abusive boyfriends in a row, two of whom ended up being rapists, her rapists in specific in two separate occasions.
She’s doing a lot better now, but it’s definitely been an uphill battle building that healthy admission to sexuality and healthy sexuality in general.
I’m a civil rights kind of guy. I perceive anti-gay discrimination as a great evil.
On topic: Haha, dead guys don’t cover their junk.
And the rcc is happily peddling this bullshit…there’s money to be made! Shameless, just shameless.
Clearly no one using the plumbing rationale for missionary position heterosexuality has ever done anything remotely fun with any other insertable or pokeable part of their bodies. Makes one sort of feel sorry for them, at least after one gets over giggling.
@Bride
I really like the idea that one end of my garden hose is stronger and more virile than the other end, but I’m having trouble deciding where the dividing line between the strong and weak ends should be. I wouldn’t want to stress out the poor weak end, and I certainly would wish to be all admiring of the manly knighthood of the strong pokey end…
“It’s a lie! It’s a lie! It’s a lie!”
IT’S A COOK BOOK! A COOK BOOK!
BoS, I hope he was at least very good looking and well built. Did he ever become a plumber? That is because I fear for his clients.
@Ing:
It’s a cookbook.
Ben
About the same time I came to terms with being an Atheist (call it 35 years ago), I used to say “I hope I am the kind of person that someone who was gay would not be afraid to tell me that”
Well – about 30 years later, it finally happened (yes, I have “discovered” that many friends were gay, but didn’t actually feel good saying so) and goodness me, nothing changed between us. I consider that a good thing.
I think that Atheism is simply a symptom of a certain method of living/thinking that just allows this to happen. Here (and other similar boards) it is acceptable – and in general, we just don’t care. We are even willing to nurture those given short shrift elsewhere. We, in short, care.
And as regards hair, at 55, I have lots of hair and I wear – occasionally – a cap to keep the side bits under control. The funny part is when I put on a skull cap or other do-rag – and people give me gang signs.
JC
@36, I suspect the latter: atheists are less condemnatory about other people’s consensual sex lives. It might be that LGBT folk “come out” a little in other venues and receive a less than cordial welcome, so don’t stick around. It might just be observation: one or two brave souls come out, nobody gives a damn, so other commenters feel free to come out, too. I’ve been on the other side of that interaction: after I remarked that a dear and close relative turned out gay, it was remarkable how many of my colleagues and correspondents suddenly came out of the closet and started talking about their (same-sex) partners.
Cerberus:
This of course doesn’t apply to people like the poor man in the endless thread
He’s quite a happy young man, actually, who is happily tackling the question of getting him some ick. Just thought I’d clear that up a bit.
Heh, I’m just happy to finally get some confirmation that this is the same Gregory Paul who wrote/illustrated the awesome “Predatory Dinosaurs of the World”. One of my favourite palaeoartists, also working to promote good science! Best workday ever.
no different?
I’m surprised, is all.
I guess you’re pretty extreme hetero (Kinsey 0), or your mum’s hot.
(I could be funnier, but I use my real name here and might get sacked)
mumonjmk @12
Reminds me of Moe Syzlak stealing Professor Frink’s time machine to go get him some “hot cave-woman sex”
cents @ 65:
Another idiotically written poll. The only “Yes” answer is completely unqualified, but they felt compelled to include “too controversial” in the “no” answer.
I know that internet polls are worthless, but that’s no excuse for hiring retarded chimps to write the questions and answer choices.
The amusing thing is that – as I recall Bernoulli’s equation at least – the female end at the tap has the highest pressure.
Why the Shroud of Turin? Why not other medieval relics? Or relics of other religions?
Like the Cloak of Kandahar or the Tooth of Kandy?
Yes, Kandahar in Afghanistan. That cloak was supposedly worn by the prophet Mohammed and it supposedly cured a cholera epidemic.
Yes also, Kandy, Sri Lanka. That tooth supposedly belonged to the Buddha, and it supposedly has the ability to make rain.
I propose we rename the shroud to “The Shroud of the Pinhead Jesus”. If anything, that should boost Torino’s tourist trade, so it’s a win-win.
Maybe God is a member of Homo floresiensis?
Funny, where’s all the shroudies?
Besides, I like how I look wearing a ball cap.
So do I! ;)
stupid chrome not having text formatting toolbar typo increasing blockquote misspelling grumble grumble
I forget the dumbass saint who supposedly wiped the sweat and blood of jebus’ face but supposedly that hankie had his face imprint, too
Not a he, a she. Veronica. And it was a veil, not a hankie.
It’s amazing what I learn while visiting various historic churches in San Antonio.
Rev:
That Shortcut Manager is working okay for me. It’s not ideal, but it means not having to spell “blockquote” every time. What I dislike about Chrome is the lack of a killfile.
I too thought the Moorcock story was rather insightful; sort of a fictional depiction of Voltaire’s declaration (“If God did not exist it would be necessary to invent him”). I also recommend Jerome Bixby’s “The Man From Earth;” sort of a telling where Jesus is actually a Vandal Savage like immortal and still alive in present day.
Then again, maybe Jesus is just another aspect of the Eternal Champion–the one who just happened to be put in place without a powerful, otherworldly weapon at his disposal. If only Heaven could be like Tanelorn…
Wasn’t the circumcision thread yesterday?
Ok I guess I’ll dive in.
And I never used a killfile. As annoying as some people are, I still feel some masochistic need to read their stupidity.
I echo Knockgoats:
Where are all the shroudies?
Where are all the shroudies?
This is not normal.
I’m scared now…
The CNN poll has been changed.
Does anyone else think that the image on the shroud looks like a medieval tomb effigy? Something like this.
#62 justasitsounds.myopenid.com
Yep, I always thought the “flatness” of the image on the Shroud looked wrong, too. If the winding sheet was not actually wound around the body, it should have been at least “tucked in” around the curves of the body. I am not sure how the Jews wrapped bodies in the time of Jesus, but in almost all images I have seen of shrouds, the sheet is tied at the neck, ankles, arms tied to body and above the knees – this is to keep the body neatly in line and the arms, legs, etc from flopping.
Looking for an image of a burial shroud, I came across this website that has a picture. It seems to be a site debunking biblical pseudoscience – but it is in Spanish (I think)
http://www.antoniolombatti.it/B/Blog07-09/Voci/2009/12/16_More_on_the_first_century_Jerusalem_burial_shroud.html
I find it odd that I have never seen this aspect of the Shroud commented on or explained away.
Nope, I think it might be Italian – but, gees, I can’t read either so it’s all Greek to me!
I’d also make a link to another similar story, apart from Moorcock: Preacher by Garth Ennis, which featured the logical outcome of what would happened if there were descendants of Jesus, and if a secret church organization tried to keep the bloodline as pure as possible (a la the Pharaohs)…
I’m assuming many people here are familiar with Preacher, but for those who aren’t, go read it as soon as you can. It’s the Deadwood of comics.
Hasn’t this been obvious to all who could see it? The first time I saw the shroud I thought ‘clearly a fake, just look at the way the figure looks like every Gothic Jesus ever painted’.
I find it odd that I have never seen this aspect of the Shroud commented on or explained away.
I have seen the different length arms and undersized head commented on before, years ago, but I don’t recall where.
No. There were red-haired Neandertalers, but that was due to a different mutation than mine.
Why not? There were blond mammoths.
That has actually been offered as an argument for it being genuine, because it fits an alleged method of crucifixion: putting a nail through one particular nerve makes the thumb fold under the palm so it’s not visible from the other side.
Some of us are.
The domain ends in .it. I don’t even need to click on the link to figure out it’s in Italian.
I clicked anyway. It is in Italian.