People of a certain age will remember thos “create your own adventure” books — well, Ars Technica has an online version of one, featuring tentacled beings from another plane, bacon, and geeks. It might go over well here.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
I LOVED these books. I read a ton of them.
Of course I always cheated too.
See more good with bacon. Bacon makes everything better.
However…
I have come across a creation so evil, so perverted, so dastardly, so disgusting that even bacon could not save it.
yes I linked to this in another thread, but I’m so disturbed by it I had to do it again
Michelle R,
If you’d ever read “Inside UFO 54-40” from the series – cheating was the ONLY way to get to the secret ending. There were no choices anywhere in the book that led to the page. It involved an ending where you wound up on some sort of Utopian planet with no idea how you got there or what you might have done to cause it.
BEWAAAAAARREEEE!!
It’s goofy humor for technology geeks, it’ll suck you in and waste your time… and quite possibly drive you mad! MAD, I say!
Actually I’m surprised PZ didn’t post it sooner since it came out on April 1.
Wow…I helped /b/tards goatse the hell out of the place, confronted Steve Jobs about my shitty iPhone, and engaged in carnal acts with most unspeakably evil being in all of history.
I think I’ve achieved my life’s purpose
Yay, I won!
Yeah, that was the closest I ever got to roleplaying. And of course I cheated as well – no patience.
When did bacon become part of the Cthulhu mythos?
When mankind became civilized enough for it.
Duh.
Plus, if we cover ourselves in bacon, it might makes us more likely to be eaten first.
I don’t know what to do here. When I read these as a tiny little brownie, I’d read up to ten paths simultaneously, using a finger or thumb as a bookmark to keep track. (It wasn’t cheating as long as I didn’t use foreign objects to mark decision pages.)
But the computer people have already warned me twice about inserting er, fingers into the machine.
When we decided to eat him instead of vice versa.
I supported Cthulhu for president in 2008, but became disillusioned when he failed to live up to his promise of eating all of the babies. Last time I vote for the greater evil.
I would rather rewrite the bible. It’s easily, because the standards are lower.
The story of Noah, extended version.
Are you kidding?
When has Cthulhu been a connoisseur of the finest of the meats?
Long pig good, normal pig better. Orwell said something about that, something about four legs improving the flavor, I forget what it was exactly.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
@Holytape:
Ahh… that was fantastic, thank you for making me giggle.
I’m “of a certain age” now? Isn’t that a euphemism for old?
@Gus Snarp:
I hope not, because I’m only 26 and remember the CYOA books.
For some reason, the “not” that I put html tags around was deleted by the server (#12). Re-try:
Works in preview, anyway.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Hmm, when I saw the title to this post, I thought you meant Francis Bacon. I can easily visualize him investigating forbidden knowledge and making the acquaintance of Elder Beings. Maybe that’s the makings for a good alternative history novel.
Bacon is part of every good mythos.
And chili dogs.
When did Tie-Dye become part of the Jesus mythos?
http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/local-man-sees-jesus-on-tie-dye-shirt
MikeM
#19: At least the headline is worded correctly, “Man Sees Face of Jesus”, placing the emphasis on the crazy person rather than the image. The first thing I saw when I looked at the image was some sort of alien/cybernetic face with a multitude of tendrils connecting it to some sort of network, or matrix, if you will. I guess the Jesus is actually in Master Control Program’s headdress, although he looks more like Christine from You Can’t Do That On Television with a Hitler mustache.
And hey, those Choose Your Own Adventure books (not “create” your own adventure, sheesh, PZ, of a certain age you most certainly are not), that’s some ’80s nostalgia too! Those things ruined me for traditional narrative for at least a few years. I considered any “THE END” page to be bad, I’d rather just keep on choosin’.
“Inside UFO 54-40” is probably the one I remember most, because it was so danged trippy. And now I suddenly recall that it did have a disconnected ending, and I think I must have figured it was a mistake.
@yahoo name #19:
I saw the Icon of Sin from Doom 2.
After being beaten off by the Narwhals, Cthulhu was searching for defences and ways of retaliating.
Where’s the FSM?
Fucking godbotter.
Holytape:
I know, it was lame the way he just gobbled down a few of the smaller ones and then complained of “indigestion”. Typical politician.
Curses, I thought it might have been about Francis Bacon, who painted
this delightful piece of art.
Perhaps someone could update it based on Ratz.
Well, that shoots down my chances for getting *anything* done today. On the plus side, I’ve already done most of the Studying Type Things I meant to do.
Lets’ see now:
Bacon. Check
Tentacles. Check
Lesbians. Oops, someone forgot to get some…
Oh look, sniny!
And yet, you are here.
A bacon-related demotivational poster that I thought was funny-
http://verydemotivational.com/2010/04/08/demotivational-posters-drive-through-bacon/#comments
bah, bad linking, sorry-
http://verydemotivational.com/2010/04/08/demotivational-posters-drive-through-bacon
MorphingGodbot:
Then go away. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, ’cause we don’t want ass prints on our door!
Tentacles? Bacon? What more could anybody want? (I’m a lesbian already.)
#21: Sorta reminded me of the “bad guys” in “Independence Day”.
(in the spirit of the OP)
If you want Jeebus-botting go to #24
If you LOLed at Rev BDC @ 2, turn to 32.
If tentacles are not your thing, your adventure is over.
Semi OT: Ann Coulter is coming to our campus to speak 6:00PM Tuesday April 13, 2010 in The Sharp Theater of the Berrie Center of Ramapo College of New Jersey. This even is sponsored by the College Republicans Club.
It is a pretty small theater and the tickets are are already sold out. IIRC the Sharp Theater only holds about 350 people! Our campus has about 5500 full time students.
Since I didn’t get a ticket I will just show up with my camera to see how the crowd works. I think I will take a movie camera and a still camera.
Interestingly… even though this event is posted all over campus it is NOT listed on any college website.
-DU-
I remember those books! They were pretty much step 1 in getting me into Role Playing Games. And learning French as well, since I couldn’t find any in my language… :)
Awesome.
…Was the god bot implying that putting Glory on a placard and playing a song is a music video? Christians really have no taste in culture.
Especially not when their taste in jewellery runs to a miniature version of an ancient torture device hung by a chain around their neck. The emaciated corpse being optional for maximum impact, depending perhaps on the particular sect involved.
Okay, here’s where I confess to being such a sad loser that I not only didn’t cheat in Choose Your Own Adventure books, but a actually mapped them as I went, so once I got safely to then end, I could go back and try out all the choices I hadn’t made the first time to see what happened.