Our local school boards tend to be institutions of endless tedium punctuated by madness. One bold innovator seeks to change this situation by increasing the insanity.
“Our schools are orderly, sanitary places where students dwell in blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaits,” West said. “Should our facilities be repaired? No, they must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond.”
I like it! It definitely beats the usual creationist lunacy.
Angel Kaida says
Why should creos get to have all the madness? They have appropriated our culture for long enough!
Parker says
The font alone gave me a migraine head, and then the message? PZ, you are a terrorist of the worst breed.
c-law says
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
Who wants to get eaten first?
Glen Davidson says
Nobody has ever shown that rationalism is more correct than madness. Particularly not to the mad.
Ergo, give madness a chance! It is completely unfair to ExpelTM madness, when even science suggests that it’s all going to end in cold, lonely, incomprehension.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
oh oh oh
Me first!
PGPWNIT says
*sings:
All we are saying…..is give Shuggoths a chance.
E.V. says
Now there’s a stimulus plan I can believe in! Surely you can find Valhalla decor accessories at Ikea.
Tully says
This is why I love the Onion so much.
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
The Biologista says
Let me just be the first to exclaim:
“Cthulhu fhtagn! IA!”
I shall be favoured when the Great Old Ones return. Fingers crossed.
Dennis says
Hah, I knew something was up when I saw that the font wasn’t comic sans.
Menyambal says
Give me that old time religion. Singing:
“Do the rites of old CTHULHU, you and me and Mr. Sulu,
Howling like a drunken Zulu, but it’s good enough for me.”
Ouchimoo says
XD !!!
The Onion does it again!
Sniper says
Yeah! Teach the controversy!
Holbach says
I also sensed there was something amiss when I read the town name. There is no such town in Massachusetts.! Good choice though, but perhaps better named Beeelzebub or Bedlam.
Tulse says
The signs of insane design (ID) are everywhere, because as the scriptures tell us: “The Great Old Ones […] filtered down from the stars and concocted earth-life as a joke or mistake” (AMM 25).
Vic says
I don’t really see a difference from Creationist proposals. They want to destroy our schools, too.
Bunk says
The saddest part was the caption under the photo of Cthulhu:
“Artist’s rendering of the Cthulhu, a hideous demon borne of pure malice that fewer than 3 percent of high school sophomores can identify.
Steve_C says
I love that edwardian typeface. It just need to be 8 points bigger.
Randy says
I was going to comment… but then I read #11 and couldn’t stop laughing… You guys are hard to keep up with!
MikeD says
Charles West? I wonder if he is related to the famous reanimator, Herbert West.
http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/reanimator.htm
Nix says
Boyoboy is the Onion ever in trouble. Misspelling the name of Nyarlathotep? Oh dear oh dear. (Of course, with the fall of the Republican Party into disgrace, he has less power in the mortal world than in times past: but still he walks.)
marcus says
@#9 Biologista
I think that you are more likely to be “flavoured” at that time. You should be fine with a touch of curry.
Alex Besogonov says
This thread needs more tentacles to be relevant!
Cthulhu says
@Nix
Boyoboy are you ever in trouble. Mispelling the name of Nyarlatothep. Oh dear oh dear.
Sili says
Tentacles, you say?
(I used to love Broomhilda when I was a kid, but I’ve been much disappointed by the product I’ve found on the web. Either I or the artists have grown old. At least Arlo and Janis is still good.)
While I’m at it: Via Zap! (in Space)
And this is prolly more relevant over at Plait’s place, but now you get it first.
phil says
On a slightly different topic: looking back in history, I see that another wingnut’s predictions have failed. See: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/02/prophecy.php
sam says
Can you use a different front for the quote? It’s almost impossible to read.
Stephen Wells says
@27: that’s for your protection. Direct exposure to the frightful inscriptions of Yoggoth can be lethal.
rnb says
#14
Next you’ll be telling us there is no such place as Innsmouth.
Tulse says
At least he didn’t misspell “Hastur” — as I understand it, The King in Yellow gets really angr
Jaycubed says
Join Today,
The CAMPUS CRUSADE For CTHULU
IT FOUND ME!
Sarcastro says
But #14, you were AT Cthulhucon 23 in Arkham Mass! It’s understandable that you forgot, what with the hash being so good and all.
Tulse says
I have a T-shirt from college with that very slogan.
Mrs Tilton says
How bizarre. I was just looking at the post on the desktop upstairs, and the school board member’s typeface was all caps and looked a bit like the typeface Led Zeppelin used to use. Then I shfted downstairs and am now using the laptop, and the typeface is totally different: no longer all caps, easier to read, broad and rounded and looking slightly “handwritten”, though not to the same extent as Comic Sans.
Thing is, I’m looking at the page with the same browser and under the same operating system.
Prometheus says
I recently read in Forbes Magazine that The Mad Arab Abdul Alharazed recanted and converted to a Jehovah’s Witness on his deathbed.
Rob says
Duh, of course there is. It’s about 50 miles from Arkham, IIRC.
xebecs says
Wikipedia has it as Nyarlathotep, and that’s the spelling I remember from my misspent youth, as well as my misspent early adulthood and misspent recent years.
So I can only conclude that you are trying to drive me crazy with this mistaken correction. Oh. You really are. Very clever.
Tulse says
But I bet both machines don’t have the same fonts — specifically, I bet that the second machine doesn’t have “Eccentric Std”.
(I’d have actually preferred if PZ had specified one of the HPLHS fonts…)
NewEnglandBob says
hehe:
CyberLizard says
Cthulu: Teacher of the Year!
Pete Rooke says
The give-away is the phrase “elder Gods.” It’s not a monotheism.
Nerd of Redhead, OM says
Monotheism is for sissies.
SLW13 says
“…the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond.”
It’s like they stole the decor straight from my living room. It’s done primarily in creams and blues. Very soothing.
Wowbagger says
I want one of those college shirts made up with ‘Miskatonic’ on it…
Pete Rooke wrote:
Hell, no it’s not. It’s far more interesting and entertaining. Put down your bible and grab yourself some HP Lovecraft to find out why.
Tulse says
You mean like the various Miskatonic U. wear available here?
Jaycubed says
I have the Campus Crusade bumper sticker myself, but I don’t own a car so it decorates my TV monitor.
I do have my Miskatonic U. Parking sticker on my motorcycle.
Go PODS Go!
Robster, FCD says
This may help…
“Our schools are orderly, sanitary places where students dwell in blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaits,” West said. “Should our facilities be repaired? No, they must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond.”
——
A friend had the shirt, Campus Crusade for Cthulhu – Our God can eat your God for breakfast.
Someone once asked him, “What if my God doesn’t eat breakfast?”
His response, without missing a beat, “Would you really follow a god that skips the most important meal of the day?”
David Marjanović, OM says
Edwardian typeface? I’m getting this in a Star Wars font. Where can I download the right one?
WRONG!!!
It is Nyarlathotep. Nyarlat-hotep, you see. Like Imhotep. Sort of like Joseph Smith’s Reformed Egyptian.
Also, all of those who cannot spell Iä shall be eaten next-to-last.
Sounds logical. Good observation, xebecs.
While The Mad Monk Abdul Alhazred, on the other hand…
Well, it’s still mad either way, because of the double article in the middle. Shame on Lovecraft.
Tulse says
Double article?! Why that’s…insane!!!
Robster, FCD says
Is the spelling really important, when with only one mouth and one set of vocal cords, humans are unequipped to properly speak said names? Also, the pronunciations vary widely through the cultures, including Klooloo, so I would be less concerned with spelling and more with keeping an eye on the movements of Aldebaran in the sky (which oddly enough, my spellcheck had the correct spelling for).
Sastra says
I read an interesting article in, I think, Skeptic Magazine, which argued that the works of H.P Lovecraft were the inspiration for Von Daniken and Sitchin’s pop pseudo-archaeology — Chariots of the Gods and The 12th Planet. They basically took their beliefs about “ancient astronauts” from Lovecraft, as evinced by some suspiciously similar quotes and timelines. If so, I find that interesting, because my dad was a serious follower of Von Daniken, and that’s what jump started my skepticism.
Ron Hubbard deliberately created a pseudoscientific religion, and HP Lovecraft may have accidentally started up a pseudoscience.
(In high school, I was a huge fan of HP Lovecraft’s works — and never met anyone else who had even heard of him. I thought him beyond obscure. Then I came on the internet, and he’s a familiar part of the cultural landscape. No internet back then; pity.)
Ted Powell says
The style of the blockquote in the article lists these fonts: eccentric std, papyrus, fantasy. My browser (Firefox 3.0.6 on Fedora 9) recognizes one of these, and renders it nicely. But the “creationist” style used with some blockquotes only lists “Comic Sans MS” which is not recognized. As a result, those blockquotes end up simply as Times.
Could you add one or two font alternatives to “Comic Sans MS” for the “creationist” style, for the benefit of non-MS-users?
llewelly says
You can configure X (or gnome, or KDE) to substitute the font of your choice for comic sans, or you can install the microsoft fonts.
(I apologize for being too lazy to google up the specifics for you, but I suspect it’s not hard to find.)
Felix says
And now, all in unison, to go to… interesting… places:
HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR!!!!
…hm?
David Marjanović, OM says
<Spanish>¡¡¡RRARRJ!!!</Spanish>
Horrible.
<headdesk>, <CRASH>, <headfloor>, and so on…
The Mac in the lab displays Comic Sans MS — except when it’s in italics, when Times or something is substituted –, but then it has MS Office for Mac installed…
Rob says
I have a few of their shirts. The designs are awesome, but the quality, to be frank, sucks. The “what part of” shirt is fading after not many wearings. The “bibliophile” shirt design has been OK so far, but the material is thin.
Phrogge says
Just after reading this thread, I Stumbled!Upon Lawrence Yang’s depiction of Cthulhu at http://www.suckatlife.com/cthulhu.html
I’m sure PZ & friends will enjoy his other cephalopodic visions, and perhaps even be charmed by the li’l bunnies and other denizens of his watercolor world.
Mobius says
Hail Cthulhu!!!
Schools in the image of Ryleh. I like it, too.
The Thomas says
Bah, The Onion got me this time, didn’t see the publisher until after I finished the article. That was the best kind of funny. The “I’ll be smiling for the next hour” kind.
Nemo says
Ted Powell #52, get you the msttcorefonts package. I don’t think you’ll regret it.
GILGAMESH says
I quit worshiping Cthulhu after I graduated Miskatonic U. I now follow the sweet Discordia.
All Hail Discordia!
Pohranicni Straze says
I went to a school run by Pentecostals. Trust me, the Elder Gods have nothing on that bunch. Principal Shub-Niggurath would have been an improvement.
For anyone with a little time to kill, here is a nice Mythos-themed card game:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/458568
Shadow says
I still have the Campus Crusade for Cthulu button I used to torment that other crusade on campus.
I loved the sound of eyeballs clicking as they rolled up inside their heads when they started conversations with “Campus Crusade for Christ — what the hell is Cthulu?”
I usually answered that He promised and end to war, hunger, poverty — well an end anyway.
TheVirginian says
I have a Campus Crusade for Cthulhu – It found me! bumper sticker.
What I don’t have is a T-shirt I once saw that said: “Miskatonic University Culinary School – Serving Humanity since 1786” [I think I have the date wrong, but you get the idea.) A friend who is a colonel in the Marines was with me and got the joke.
He’s the one who sent me a link – http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/ – I think is the link – to a Web site titled “Hello Cthulhu,” which was a funny cartoon parody of Hello Kitty but with Cthulhu and other beings (such as the Color out of Space, etc.) added in.
Vidar says
Now picture PZ dressed as a spartan and going:
“Madness?
THIS!
IS!
PHARYNGULA!!”
Masks of Eris says
All Hail Discordia!
(And Cthulhu. Definitely Cthulhu also. Go away, Wrathful Tentacle of Apostasy!)
Actually, I remember once thinking that the Azathoth/Nyarlathotep explanation of all was at least as plausible as the ‘usual’ religious ones…
(In some ways better. ‘Wait, if mankind was created the Old Ones, who created the Old Ones?’ — ‘Summon byakhee! Sanity check! No more questions!’)
(Oh, and there wouldn’t be any problems with this omnibenevolence stuff.)
Good old atheist H.P. Lovecraft.
Moggie says
“Our schools are orderly, sanitary places…”
Either schools have changed drastically since I was there, or teenagers have.
HawkOfMay says
Given the current collapse of the markets maybe he does have something about preparing the students for “the chaos that awaits” for them upon graduation.
Aliandre says
Is it too early to talk about 2012?
“Cthulhu for President – Why choose the lesser evil?”
(Bumper sticker my husband has up in his office)
David Marjanović says
Ah, here in the lab the font seems to fit.
And yes, Hello Cthulhu is awesome.
varlo says
It isn’t just a scientific group boycotting Louisiana. y formal training in the sciences consisted of two freshman biology courses. I have been a frequent New Orleans visitor in the past. Not any more. The fundie crowd gives eugenics a good name.