As of 7:07AM Pacific time on 9 March, that is. I expect everyone to write me a poem in celebration. To start you all off, Richard Dawkins has set an example.
Don’t give me that cross-eyed look. It is not unusual that I inspire poetry, I’ll have you know.
Happy Birthday PZ.
May dodgy poetry rain upon you throughout this day.
A poem? What the hell rymes with pharyngula? I don’t even know how to pronouce it.
Happy B-day anyway!
Thats half a century YOUNG, you pessimist! ;)
Oh, and happy birthday!
And as a birthday present the US Mint looks to have turned secular for you. Many (more) happy returns.
Happy Birthday! Just for you I’ve put together a six part review of The God Delusion. Enjoy.
Deep in Chopra
Happy Birthday PeeZee.
Davescott and Billy D send their regards. also.
0_o
Rich
I don’t know how to dress this up
To be as good as Dawkins-
Yikes! to dress it up at all
I’d probably need eight stockins
Happy birthday anyway
PZ, up there in Morris
I’ve got to go back to my space-
Signed respectfully. Horace.
Science gains new friends;
Woo, defeated, walks the plank.
Let’s cheer Darwin’s squid!
Happy birthday!
What a coincidence. I was just writing a nice Limerick for PZ… (it’s on my site, and Dawkins too)
We could do a chain poem.
I’ll start:
There once was a blogger, PZ…
There once was a man who loved squid
But not just to eat, no, forbid!
PZ was his name
Science was his game
And godless was he, most avid.
Happy birthday, PZ! (*sound a kazoo makes*)
There once was a man named Myers
Who was told he’d burn in Hell’s fires
But he did his research
And he soon left his church
Revealing the rest to be liars
Happy Birthday PZ!
Happy Birthday, PZ! I know I’d be going crazy ninja if Richard Dawkins wrote a poem for me on my birthday.
He’s quite obsessed with squid,
And working hard to rid
The world of all false gods
(Though none are real, you sods.)
So bloggers worldwide said
“Happy Birthday, PZ”
(Except those in the States.)
Pharyngula relates
Octopus sex — nifty!
Congrats, you reached fifty.
But take care for I fear
The end of days is near
Thor will soon be smiting
The heretic here writing.
Until that sad moment
You have time to repent.
I wish you’d given me some actual time to come up with a poem that doesn’t suck. Oh well. Happy birthday anyhow.
Squid in white snow drift,
cephalopod of the north.
PZ slays dragons.
Alas, only a brit could rhyme Pharyngula with “singular”.
There once was a prof name of Myers
Who threatened the ivory-like spires
Of grand fundy churches
Who cried: His science besmirches!
But Myers has the brains it requires.
Hmm..Not quite.
There once was a man of biology
Who taught without e’er an apology
The fundys attacked
But found themselves smacked
By logical reasoned morphology.
I’ll get back to you….
Happy Birthday!
There was an old Prof named PZ,
Who liked creatures that came from the sea,
His fondness for squid,
Disturbed many a kid,
Yet his beard caused nothing but glee.
There once was a heathen named Myers,
To whose standards one only aspires,
At a credulous nit,
He’d unfurl his wit,
His patience does not include liars.
A biology prof, name of Paul,
Had no time for religion at all,
He amusingly boasts,
Of biblical roasts,
And wiping qu’rans on his ball(s)!
There once was a chap, name of Zach,
Who’s atheist leanings weren’t slack,
To creationist fools,
He’d whip out his tools,
Of reason and give them a whack.
There was a prof from Minnesota,
Who’s modest and not a base gloater,
Yet he clearly took pride,
In his leathery hide,
Which repelled many creationist floater.
Enough?
I think so.
Happy Birthday PZ.
Louis
I’ll take that up.
There once was a blogger PZ,
Who went to a snowdrift to pee
His intelligent mind
made up a design
’twas the likeness of Doctor Behe!
So PZ’s no longer as rad
As when he was a nerdly lad
The news isn’t completely sad
At least he’s still Skatje’s dad
Birthday Haiku for PZ Meyers:
PZ is fifty
pity the brain died at nine
old, stupid asshole
There was an old geezer named Pharyng
Whose temper had everyone staryng.
When he reached 50 years,
He drank 50 beers,
Which left his bath plumbing despairyng.
Happy Big Round One’
Bob C
Achtung!
Hey I chust flew in from zee Vatican, and Boy are my pectoral muscles tired!
You vill all now all pay attention, Ja?
Don’t make me invade Poland again…
I proclaim that PZ is a real saint, and a pretty good guy, for an atheist – and that’s no Papal Bull!
Happy Effing Birthday Herr Doctor Myers
As a pedagague You ain’t no slob The author of Pharyngula. Happy Birthday to PZ Homo Sapien most singular.
Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
This poem for PZ’s Birthday
Isn’t Very Good
YAAAAAAAAY!
There once was a sci-prof from Morris,
Whos blog tended to preach to the chorus.
But with steel-toed boots,
and brass knuckles too,
He hammers creationists for us!
Thanks for all the inspiration and encouragement, PZ!!!!! Happy birthday!
Hey, PZ, I’m exactly five days older than you are. Junior.
Happy Birthday PZ. It is the 9th 00:56am in Scotland. Suprised you still remember the time you where born. Do you still have your birthday certificate? Is the time on it?
Raised arms – one squid
and five octopodes – pay
tentacle homage.
Your old, your old
You wear your trousers rolled.
ID is dead,
Hovind is blue
You’ve taught us to read
and be skeptical too.
So, have a Happ, Happ, Happy Birthday, and thank you Dr. Myers
The master of sci blog Pharyngula,
Said of his obsession quite singular,
“Creationist asses
Keep me from my classes
And I must focus on things curricular!”
P.S. Now I wonder how Richard Dawkins found out about this little soiree…?
I am exactly one year and one day younger than you.
There once was a something called God
Whose ontological status was odd
It couldn’t be seen
Wasn’t heavy or green
And left Myers profoundly un-awed.
Wow, Dawkins doggerel ain’t half bad.
To the guy who brightens my morns
Much better than browsing through porn
He makes me spit coffee
While I cheer on his moxy
So I’ll celebrate the day he was born!
Terrible. Simply terrible. :)
You youngsters always have to hog the limelight, don’t you? Nobody wrote poetry for my 51st. But since it seems to be the thing:
You are the very model of a modern biological
You’ve information vegetable, animal and logical
You know the ways of genomes and can list developmentical
From zygote to fifth instar you can tell if it’s pharyngical
You’re very well acquainted too with things creatonistical
And understand the politics of matters atheistical
About intelligent design you’re teeming with the critical
With many snarky things to say about the hypocritical
You’re very good at deconstructing neocon rhetoricus
You know the names of pundits who are seen to be ridiculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and logical
You are the very model of a modern biological
You know the mythic history of religious intransigents
You answer hard apologetics offered by evangelists
You quote the sci-en-tific liter-a-ture very concisely
And give out so students can admire you actions wise-ly
You can tell a proper explanation from a sketch miraculous
You know the physiology that goes along with baculus
You can hum the Internationale while dealing with the credulous
And love for reasons unknown all the shapes of things mollusculous
Then you can write a blog from which all the laity can be taught
And mess with people’s minds by showing them they don’t know what they thought
When others make it harder or just try to further fabulate
And when they use religion over science to regurgiate
The dogmas of an early age we progressed by last century
You treat them with derision or project the penitentiary
In short, when you encounter ignorant epistemology
You say that we had better all rehearse the real biology.
For your scientific knowledge, though you’re feisty and all generous,
Though broad and full of clarity, is but part of your ingenious
Recall of matters vegetable, animal and logical.
You are the very model of a modern biological.
There once was a biologist named Myers
Of Design and creationists he tires
Of evodevo and Hox he ‘xplains like no other
but it’s cephalopods he truly desires
Happy BDay!
Scarcely rhythmic doggerel:
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni came out of the deep,
And roused his Architeuthid friends from their delightful sleep.
“We’ve hid away for centuries,” the beast then rumbled loudly,
“But for dear PZ’s fiftieth, we mollusca show up proudly!”
How’d I do?
There once was a cephalopodophiliac
With penchant for the psychodiliac
He stoutly denied God,
While blogging unshod,
And a pain in the creationists sacroiliac.
Ain’t it nifty,
PZ’s fifty!
(But at fifty-three
I’m older than he.)
Happy day and many more.
Well I’m not a poet, and I know it, but here goes!
readin’ PZ
is really easy
I like this blog
more than I like my dog
(true that)
it’s better than my cat
it has a name I can’t pronounce
but his words I can’t denounce
cuz he knows what he’s talkin’ ’bout
and with me his thoughts have clout
Happy Birthday PZ!
Happy 50th PZ! :)
Three cheers for the prof named Myers,
The scourge of evolution-deniers.
With science and wits
He gives IDiots fits
And shows them all to be liars.
Friends and family call him PeeZee
But for me that’s never been easy.
To Brits and Canucks
It’s PeeZed – that sucks!
So it’s Professor or Doctor from me, see?
Fifty times you’ve whizzed ’round Sol
(See – astronomy’s fun after all!)
Tomorrow’s your day
Par-tay all the way!
Saturday we expect a tell-all!
So, it turns out I’m 195 days your senior. And here I’ve thought I should respect my elder. No more! ;-)
Have a good one, and many more to come!
PZ’s a fortudinous being
Who challenges folks that agreeing
Just because THEY think so,
That they truly know;
Thus to others his memes are quite freeing.
Evidence is key to his thought.
Is there some or is there not?
If so, use your noggin
Instead of just bloggin’:
Use brain: don’t let it just rot.
Ahem: (with short notice.)
The deck be laid out in silver and gold
The cap’n’s nigh on fifty years old
Look lively there lads and raise the mainsail
We’re headin’ out to kick ID tail
ARRR!
…
…
Happy Birthday, PZ! I offer a Double Dactyl:
Higglety-pigglety
Prof. Paul Z. Myers
Set to turn 50
On Friday, March 9,
Parties ’til midnight with
Cephalapodean
Hors d’oeuvres and sips
Of invertebrate wine.
…
…
One half a century will grind no stone;
no catastrophic Flood a Canyon cut.
We see the layered ages in the rut,
which in a million years has scarcely grown.
The fauna north and south the river sown
might speciate (no longer they abut
and, isolated, lose the pow’r to mutt)
but not when you a hundred years have known.
And yet, in fifty years the world has changed!
You’ve made a name in standing up for truth.
We said hello to one that goes by Skatje,
and science, tech, and politics arranged
in ways so vastly different from your youth,
it must be by the will of Jesus. (Gotcha.)
Squid-like PZ, squirting ink,
In the blogosphere, makes a stink,
O’er Johnny Wells and Dr. Dino,
Two of the IDiots we have come to know,
And loathe – because PZed is not averse,
To tossing scraps of religious stupidity (and a curse),
In our direction – fomenting godless insurrection! –
And professing his proud atheism to perfection.
Happy 50th B’Day, PZ!
BTW …
I think there should be some sort of award for John Wilkins’ offering. It should at least be sung at your party.
Dawkins should keep his day job.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday PZ!!! And may you have another 50 years of blogging ahead of you :)
I’d write a poem, but I suck at poems.
he he he… I just noticed I posted the 50th comment. What a coincidence (I swear it wasn’t on purpose). Do I get a prize?
“You are old, father PZ,” young Skatje said,
“And your beard has become very white;
And yet you incessantly talk about squid–
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”
“In my youth,” father PZ said to his daughter
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I’m perfectly sure it’s under water
Why, I do it again and again.”
“You are old,” Skatje said, “as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door–
Pray what is the reason for that?”
“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment – one shilling a box–
Allow me to sell you a couple?”
“You are old,” Skatje said, “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the squid, including the beak–
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”
“In my youth,” said her father, “I took to the Law,
And argued the Truth case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”
“You are old,” Skatje said, “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose–
What made you so awfully clever?”
“I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”
Said her father. “Don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs.
Human
or Squid
biologist
or embryologist
Atheist
or Terrorist
or even a member of the Feminist Conspiracy
all who will reason
are welcome
in PZ’s little corner of reality.
All the best PZ. I wish you a curmudgeonly, atheistic, confrontational, naturalistic, skeptical, joyful second half century. It’s the only way to live!
Lines on the occasion of the 50th anniversary of PZ Myers’ birth
the faithful are frightened, in fact they’re running scared
of the professor who spooks the thinking-impaired
he’s been suffering fools badly for half a hundred years
let’s have half a hundred more! believers, cue the tears
happy birthday, Professor Myers. I’ll always be older than you. so there.
PZ big 50
celebrating big birthday!
Party hardy dude!
My haiku for the PZ!
Happy Birthday!
Some excellent entries I see
an engineer not a bard I be
so just a simple wish for thee
have a happy birthday on me
Happy birthday, P.Z.!
A child of the Enlightenment
I look to reason’s spark
To light a single candle
And not just curse the dark
The winds of blind religion
May flatten reason’s fires;
To coax the flames to rise again
I count on P.Z. Meyers!
So here’s to P.Z. Meyers!
Today we count the score;
For fifty years he’s held the line–
I wish him many more!
I already did that. It was a pain in the aspidistra too. I went for the big half century plus one. Now I only have to accept the steady rise towards 60. Accckkk!
With liars, Priors and friars,
Infesting the Internet’s wires,
There’s one thing they’d agree,
To beware of, you see,
That’s the sharp wit of P.Z. Myers.
Hmmmm…maybe Haiku:
P.Z.Myers’ day.
Cephalopods rejoicing.
Creationists cringe.
Happy, happy 50 and many more!
No angel attended his birth,
looking down with cherubic smile.
Nor did one follow his first steps;
provide comfort when sick, succor when tired.
Fifty years.
Fifty years, walking, running,
and at times stumbling;
Neither God blessed,
nor Devil cursed.
What is the meaning of life?
It’s not the greedy
expectation of more, more,
an eternity of more.
We’re each given a handspan
of years.
What is life?
It’s looking at you
in the mirror.
Every year another layer
of silvering;
Every year, a polishing.
Happy Birthday, PZ.
My birthday offering is the zoologist’s version of “Happy Birthday.”
Hippo Birdie 2 Ewes
Hippo Birdie 2 Ewes
Hippo Birdie 2 Ew….oooos
Hippo Birdie 2 Ewes
(Sung to the tune of ‘Happy Birthday.’
Still not enough Haiku in this thread for my liking:
fifty years have earned
a rest on their laurels, some say
Not so! Cries PZ
and now in the Japanese:
音殺し
雪が、真実を
殺せない
Translated:
the sound-killing snow, cannot kill the truth
PZ blogs about evolution
with many a cunning locution.
So to him I say “Cheers!
You’ve reached fifty years!”
And drink an alcoholic solution.
Oy! That doggerel won’t hunt. But I wanted to contribute anyway: Here’s to you PZ! *raises glass*
There exists a blogger named PZ
Whose science makes creationists queasy
They respond with ridicule and scorn
Especially about his cephalapod porn
But in the war of internet wits
they always come off as ineffectual twits
His wisdom comes as no surprise to us still
For when he was born the Dead Sea had just taken ill
But my welcome it seems I overstay
In all sincerity PZ, Happy Birthday
I have eaten
the squid
that were in
the icebox
And which
might once have been
close friends
of yours
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.
At half a century, you’re hardly hoary
but please, do tell,
your previous life’s story.
You walked with dinosaurs,
you should admit
when you were just a little git.
And when you died between two toes,
you, born again,
like a bad smell, rose
as a modern skeptic
and a sceptic, too.
Do tell us true,
you pharyngula-fixated
cephalopodophilic
professorial stew.
Confess, profess!
confess the Truth,
dear ‘Pee Zed Myers’
(or is PEE ZEE you?)
PZ Myers is turning 50;
As a fan, I find that nifty.
He hammers on the cred’lous sods
And links to lovely ceph’lopods.
A poem?! Are you an English teacher now or something? Sigh, fine, but you owe me.
Happy fith decade.
A Thousand years ago,
You’d be dead by now,
Probably burned at the stake
For Heresy or blasphamy,
AKA Rational thought.
Happy now?
Oh, for the life of me,
There’s no rhymes I can see
that will fit to a tee
someone named Myearshertz.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday PZ! I didn’t realize you were so young :-/
That’s one awesome hat, and, my god, it’s like you’ve got a little parroting cult!
Ok, so I’m no good at poetry – so I got my friends the Vogons at the BBC Vogon Poetry Generator to do it for me!
Happy Birthday PZ! Oh, and sorry about the following…
See, see the flowery sky
Marvel at its big pasty white depths.
Tell me, PZ Myers do you
Wonder why the Colossal Squid ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel belligerent.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your flurbly facial growth
That looks like
A calamari.
What’s more, it knows
Your squidly potting shed
Smells of lettuce.
Everything under the big flowery sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm preservatives.
Note: to correctly scan this epic, you must be ancient enough, not to mention uncool enough, to remember the song, “They Call the Wind Maria,” from Paint Your Wagon.
At U of Minn
They got a man
Who blogs of squid and pirates
Writes godless rants
Instead of grants
And they call him PZ Myers….
Myers taunts the fundie hoards
Deprives trolls of their vowels
Posts lewd pix of ceph’lopods
Makes Dembski loose his bowels
Doc Myers
Doc Myers
His students yell, “Doc Myers?”
Before I found Pharyngula
I got my work done quickly
But now I tell my boss to wait
As I’m downloadin’ new squddie
Now fifty years have come and gone
And PZ starts to whining
He’s asked us geeks to write in verse
So the scansion’s gone a flyin’
A-flyin’
For Myers
The strained quatrains for Myers
—
Happy birthday, PZ, I sure hope it’s better than my poem!!!
Happy Birthday, PZ!
Faced with the choice between a feeble attempt at writing poetry (with a high probability of an absolutely horrid result on my part thus detracting from the celebration) or presenting an entertaining music video featuring cephalopods — well the decision was easy!
Enjoy this Octopus’s Garden.
With apologies to both Goldsmith and Myers, an (imaginary) encounter between an IDiot and Pharyngula:
Happy birthday Pharyngula!
Okay, I’m in:
A 100% Original Birthday Poem for PZ Myers
I think that I shall never see another quite like dear PZ.
The man who blogs for you and me will soon turn half a century!
The man who makes the fundies cry when he explains ID’s a lie
by showing them the alterations in nature’s most bizarre creations.
A family man with wife and kids who intimately studies squids
’cause he prefers cephalopods to any silly man-made gods!
Happy Birthday, PZ!!!
Vse najboljse za tvoj rojstni dan, Faringula!!!
The Fate of ID at Pharyngula
Could justly be thought of as singular
At Dembskian prose
He turns up his nose
And raises just one Myers finguler.
Many Happy Returns!
happy birthday PZ…
I’m afraid I don’t have any poetry though. Probably for the best, actually ;-)
Two poems. First, a reworking of “The Story of Bonnie and Clyde”:
You’ve read the works of Dennett & Dawkins
And ScienceBlogs on the wires.
If you’re still in need
Of something to read
Here’s the story of P.Z. Myers.
Now P.Z. Myers is in the Atheist Gang.
I’m sure you all have read
How he rants and raves
With discourse crazed
And wishes the God-fearing dead.
There’s lots of untruths to these write-ups;
He’s not so vicious as some;
But his rhetoric’s rough
And he’s necessarily tough
On the credulous, foolish, and dumb.
Folks call him an uncivil firebrand;
They say he is heartless and mean.
But say what you will:
His readers are thrilled
For P.Z.’s prose is logical and clean.
Creationists fool around,
Try taking him down
With claims of I.C. in the cell.
They say of him,
“He’s unduly dim
And will doubtless end up in hell.”
But their bulbs are dimly lighted;
P.Z. lets reason and evidence guide.
He tries to open up minds,
Even those of the blind,
But isn’t above being snide.
His blog gets brighter and brighter,
With posts to read and admire.
So let e’vry woman and man
Do all that they can
For the 50th of P.Z. Myers.
And second, with apologies to Hilaire Belloc:
Of Dr. Myers, by the wingnuts ’tis said,
“His sins are scarlet!” But his posts are read.
Something something something, happy birthday
something something
squid something
something atheism
BLAH
Happy Birthday PZ.
Sorry, I don’t have a poem, but I want to say your blog is an inspiration. Keep up the good work.
There once was a righteous prof called Pharyngula;
To colleagues and friends he seemed quite avuncular,
But his morality slid,
Seduced by a squid,
And his reputation no longer stands perpendicular.
Note: I use Canadian Zs
A biologist known as PZ
An atheist too, it is said
Puts his thoughts in a blog
Which maddens the fog
Minded IDiots who from him have fled
Damn, Just 5 hours earlier and I could claim a full decade more experience than you. Anyway,
Happy Birthday to us
Happy Birthday to us
Happy Birthday PZ and Don
Happy Birthday to us
Adreanof quakes.
Fifty years, who remembers?
PZ Myers might.
Um… happy birthday.
My haiku (or something) is ruined! Anyway: 1957 Adreanof Earthquake.
Happy Birthday to you, Pharyngula!
Sorry I’m not there to sing to ya.
Do not go flying your flag half-furled,
Cuz fifty is not the end of the world.
But I bet you can see it from there, cantcha?
(ducking and running)
Happy Birthday PZ. I think I speak for more than I know when I say that you have catalyzed a march toward rationality. PZ, Dawkins, Dennett, and Harris, are the pioneers, making rational and logical atheism acceptable to more people than you could ever know. I’m only 22, and from my limited experience, I think demographic trends are moving toward rationalistic humanism.
P.S. I’m drunk, so it took me about 10 minutes to write this without typos. Please forgive incoherence if that be the case.
Happy B-day, Professor Paul
Who’s always up for a brainy brawl
You dropkick the fundies
Right in their undies
& make the creationists bawl.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Damn, you’re old.
Was this supposed to rhyme?
A Villainous Villanelle for Pharyngula Zed Myers:
Pharyngula is widely read
Its traffic comes from far and near
To pick the brain in PZ’s head
Like evil wraiths riz from the dead
Creationists will laugh and jeer
To pick the brain in PZ’s head
Of science ne’er enough is said
To quench most people’s primal fear
To pick the brain in PZ’s head
“Happy Birthday,” we all said
For Myers’s fiftieth year —
Pharyngula is widely read
Trolls and seekers both have pled
For science writing without peer
To pick the brain in PZ’s head
Dawkins ignited the thread
Here within the blogosphere
Pharyngula is widely read
To pick the brain in PZ’s head
I can’t write poems but I can sing :
” Un p’tit beurre c’est pour vous, un p’tit beurre c’est pour vous…”
If you know french and if you are already drunk, maybe I have a chance you find this funny…
From one just-turned half-centenariarian (sp???), to another: Happy B-Day!
Should we feel iffy
About the turn to fifty?
Nah, it’s quite spiffy!
PZ are you so young?
Or am I so old?
Have a beer on me, PZ
One with a thick frothy head.
And as you refresh your bod,
Give thanks you have no wowser God!
(PS In Oz we pronounce Z Zed not Zee).
It is unusual to demand it though. However …
His L for “learner” PZ keeps
With pride; unlike those many creeps
Who claim that all is somehow known
Within one book and thought disown.
And now he has another L,
Which may or may not suit as well,
But still it’s his and duly earned
Surviving so yet more is learned.
Congratulations, PZ! I think you deserve a few readers now that it’s your birthday and all, so I’ve written something and linked from my site. Enjoy! (-;
A poem on demand? Oy. But,
Pharyngula grows
Adult desires and wants
‘s quid pro quo
so I am glad to give something back. Happy days!
A poem on demand? Oy. But,
Pharyngula grows
Adult desires and wants
‘s quid pro quo
so I am glad to give something back. Happy days!
He rose from the wrong side of bed
And with a mounting sense of dread
Noticed the date, and clutched his head
I’m fifty!
Said Pee Zed
What happened to my hair? he pled
And what is this? My belly’s spread
I think I’ve reached a watershed
I’m fifty!
Said Pee Zed
There’s too much stuff inside my head
Nonsense seen and garbage read
Knots and snarls, a tangled thread
And … fifty!
Said Pee Zed
He paced the room with measured tread
There’s still so much I haven’t said
So many IDiots to shred
I’m fifty!
Said Pee Zed
But rising from his birthday spread
He cleared his throat and scratched his head
It’s funny how the years have sped
But half a century lies ahead!
We’re all the same age till we’re dead
Don’t mourn the years gone by, he said
Let’s drink another toast instead
To fifty!
Said Pee Zed
Happy Birthday! Gold has been the traditional gift for 50th anniversaries of all types, and that’s what you’ve given us pure gold – Ihope you get some in return on your birthday.
Hail! me hearties,
And sing of P. Zachary —
He, of the God-meme
The zestfullest sacker! An’
Them he denounces,
Call his heart the blacker!? Such
Libels are merely the
Trade-goods of quackery.
Still, the best defense is
A good attack; or so
I’m informed. As, no doubt,
Is our P. Zachary.
Congrats on a half-century without getting burned at the stake by Christianists, Doc Mhierzsh!
” I expect EVERYONE to write me a poem in celebration. ”
Just my luck to stumble on
This dire exhortation.
Birthdays may come and birthdays may go,
but fiftieths deserve ovation
If the cephalopods don´t keep us away
We godless just want to say
congratulations and
lead the way.
=)
Happy Birthday!
Blogging’s not for everyone
PZ Myers is THE scientist blogger
Who’s won
;)
I’m always amused that everything sounds better with a British accent; I think Richard Dawkins could read “There was a boy from Nantucket…” and it would sound mellifluous.* Ah, well, I won’t fare as well…
Happy Half A Century! (Hopefully your Wish List is current – May brings flowers…)
*No thesaurus, but I did check the spelling. (-;
Happy Birthday PZ.
How about another double dactyl:
Higgledy, Piggledy,
PZ, biologist,
loves evo-devo
and can’t stand ID
Now he can celebrate,
semicentennially,
with photos of squid
that we all love to see
I left you a poem on Richard Dawkins’ site. :)
For PZ
It’s easy
To de-feat
the complete
idiots who
de-fend ID!
Gee, the end doesn’t really fit, does it? Anyway, happy birthday and best wishes, PZ!
Not up to writing poetry this morning, so I’ll simply wish you a happy birthday and many happy returns. I hit half a centriy a year and a half ago, so I can tell you life after 50 is good. ;)
Happy Birthday, PZ!
Whan are you next in the UK so that we can buy you a beer?
Roger Stanyard
Happy Birthday, PZ! May you enjoy many more years. (Can’t do poetry before my coffee, sorry).
Happy Birthday PZ!! I have to rush off and English is not my first language, so writing poems is challenging. But best wishes anyway.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I believe in PZ,
Not in Jesus the Jew.
Yes, potentially insulting to those without a sense of humor, plus another rhyming victim of too little sleep combined with a sinus headache. Lighten up, dudes.
Hmm.
Artlessly, smartlessly,
Stupid creationists,
Mindless book burners,
Have nary a friend.
Last time they screwed,
With PZ and biologists,
Lost lawsuits marked,
What was left in the end!
Better, that. The caffeine is kicking in.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Still 12 years left to go for me, but getting there.
Happy Birthday Haiku
My Pharyngula
Living fifty years is old
For godless liberal
Oh Happy Birthday
Cephalopod lover who
Ejaculates reason
Creationists sure raised a stink
And were baffled by prose in sqiud ink
and about evolution
PZ’s happy solution
At least some great apes can think!
Happy birthday!
MikeG
It is interesting to contemplate an entangled blog, posted with many poems of many kinds, with comments on the threads, with various subjects flitting about, and with squid swimming in the deep sea, and to reflect that these elaborately constructed forms, so different from each other, and dependent on each other in so complex a manner, have all been produced by laws acting around us. These laws, taken in the largest sense, being Science with Scepticism; Insight which is almost implied by explanation; Variability from the indirect and direct action of the external conditions of debate, and from praise and abuse; a Ratio of Information so high as to lead to a World View for Life, and as a consequence to Natural Philosophy, entailing Divergence of Character and the Extinction of less-improved theories. Thus, from the war of words, from science and religion, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher thoughts, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few theories or into one; and that, whilst this internet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of electricity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.
Sorry Darwin, but its PZ’s birthday and he wanted poetry.
You dropkick the fundies
Right in their undies
That should be:
You dropkick the fundies
Wearing nothing but undies
It’s day two of this post. Time to get ugly!
Happy birthday PZ.
Peter
With apologies to G.L. Hemminger:
PZ Myers lacks all fears,
We like him.
We wish him fifty more great years,
We like him.
He’s witty and he’s really cool,
He fisks the common creo fool,
The squid revere him from their pool,
We like him.
Happy b-day a few hours early.
Don’t think of it as half a century. Think of it as five percent of a millenium.
Joining in from Scandinavia:
The ‘net, the web, the blogosphere
its fibers, tubes and wires
today will see a flood of cheer
for our Professor Myers.
And that is quite appropriate,
since he fulfills our yearning
for thought, debate and well-honed wit,
and scholarship – true learning.
Uncommonly intelligent,
you could say well-designed,
each bio-logic argument
is reasoning, refined.
Prolific, yes, but never lax,
his steel-toed words have weight.
His beak is sharp as he attacks,
with ten brass arms – or eight.
His oratory never wanes,
he doesn’t straddle fences:
“Since evolution gave us brains,
let’s use them, and our senses!”
“We’re feeling minds, not mindless souls,
we love and learn!”, he howls,
while sanctimonious, tiresome trolls
he quickly disemvowels.
Jerusalem’s a mental block
and Rome’s a pious chorus.
While Moslems bow towards Mecca’s rock
let’s turn our minds to Morris!
And as we do, I add my praise
and ask of PZ’s worldwide class:
Please join me as for him I raise
a godless godly glass!
Grattis på födelsedagen!
A simple haiku:
Credulous tricksters.
The squid are not so slimy.
P Z fights them all.
Well, it’s marginally better than the version I started based on the theme song from the Beverly Hillbillies. Happy birthday, keep fighting the good fight, and welcome to what my wife (who turned 50 three days ago) and I (51) refer to as our “extremely late forties”.
A poem? Oh drat, this is my worst subject! Maybe if I switch to “pirate mode” it’ll look better.
Happy birthday, Doc Myers,
There be nothing to fear!
Here’s yer bloody poem,
I’ll write ye another next year.
Aargh.
[/pirate mode]
Best wishes!
Rt
Happy Birthday, Sir. Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday Dr. Myers, always a pleasure to read your blog.
Ken Ham would put your years into prospective this way.
At 50 years old you are 1/120th the age of the earth. How’s that feel?
Happy Birthday!
Higglety pigglety
Developmentalist
Turns 50 today
And has asked for some verse.
Many obey and there’s
Sentimentality,
Limericks abound
And the haikus are worse.
Wilkins weighs-in with great
Gilbert and Sullivan.
Fox has a dactyl
That references squid.
There’s free verse and blank verse
To tickle the fancies;
Meters and rhymes
Only some of which fit.
Submissions are mostly
Appallingly bad, but
It’s all in good fun
And you love it, I’ll bet.
So Myers we wish you
The best of all birthdays.
You asked for these poems
And deserve what you get.
Comment 115 is the best!!!
Five percent of a millennium? Hah. Contemplate paleontology: I can’t tell last week from last ice age. :-)
Comment 115 is the best!!!
Five percent of a millennium? Hah. Contemplate paleontology: I can’t tell last week from last ice age. :-)
It’s about 6:07 PST – one last hour before you ‘youth’ no more. Bah.. tis wasted on the young.
Happy Happy PZ – Calamari for everyone!
Happy birthday. The first half-century is the hardest! I wonder if PZ will write Dawkins one when he turns 75?
Happy, happy birthday, PZ!
I’d write you a poem, but you might not want one from the Bad Goth Poetry Queen. Our little one sends out a “happy birthday to the Squid Guy!”
A very happy birthday to you Dr Myers.
You find the coolest youtube squids
And sex among the spineless
You cut up crank creationists
with cyber-saber glee
Your mighty pen cuts swathes of sense
through creduloidic mindless
dreck, And you, untiring hero
inspire the same in me
No longer do I sit and stew
when folks repeat some nonsense,
breathlessly extolling woo
without a shred of ev’dence.
I stand up like Missouri
or a prof from Minni Morris
“Show me! Show me facts beyond
a testimony chorus.
“Show me yours I’ll show you mine,
then we can fin’ly argue
like adults, ‘stead of bickering
like babies’ gabbling googoo:
‘Googoo woowoo chopra ramtha
energy and healing,
spiritual, ways of knowing,
facts are trumped by feeling…’
“Aargh!” I yell my pirate aargh
(Invoking noodly satire)
and cleanly I eviscerate
Their fallacies with sass.
Most of them will take their toys
and whinge that we are meanies,
and I say, “Bye, don’t let
the pub door hit you on the ass.”
Then we Pharynguloids get back
to learning, playing, thinking,
to using every day this
great brief life in which we’re born.
Side by side in real or cyberspace
now raise your glasses
to PZ Myers and all who grok
the wonder of squid porn.
“Fifty years have gone, and winter’s grown a little colder;
The sophomores of Morris town are smaller every day,
And that blogging daughter’s out to steal my flock away.
And with Creationists about and lying ever bolder,
Why should this biologist get out of bed today?”
“Fifty years?” I heard my own voice say.
“Really, sir, I thought you were a little older.”
All the best, PZ! :-)
Roses is red
red stuff is too
Ghana just turned 50
And now you did, too
Curriculum Vitae
From this world’s well of wisdom is allowed
Each sojourner a brief eclectic sip.
Consumption obligates us, thus endowed,
To swell the reservoir of scholarship.
For both the contribution and the draft
Are means which will enable us to bind
To every soul that lived and learned and laughed
And those who follow after – mind to mind.
So drink a little deep, a little wide;
Take care in choosing how you will partake.
It is your heart’s tuition you decide,
The thirst for immortality you slake.
Though appetite exceeds what you ingest,
Imbibe your share; interpolate the rest.
PZ Myers
Never tires
Of exposing the curious antics of god squads
And cephalopods.
Guess who will be 50 tomorrow too?
Right, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bin_Laden
Ok, your tomorrow is my today now, but still, this has to mean something…
Happy birthday PZ.
A big Hawai’i 5-0 to ya PZ. Happy Birthday!
Wow, that’s a whole lot of awesome blog entries for only 50 years!;)
Happy birthday! Say what you mean and say it mean (if it has to be)!
Everyone? A lowly lurker quavers…
Writing Clearly,
Illuminating Reality,
Never Suffering Fools at All,
That’s PZ!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Bday P.Z. Thanks for the enlightenment!
Happy Birthday P to the Z.
Two days after Dr. Seuss.
Today is your birthday! Today you are you! There is no one alive that is you-er than you!
What? I missed a party? Damn!
Anyway:
Well it’s fifty years a PZ and you know it’s on
Posts in the blog til the break of dawn
Smackin’ down the frauds, got no place for people
Claimin’ fossils and myths are all jes’ equal
Ain’t no one on the nets can do it like he
Cuts up the woo so viciously
All cephalopodia ‘n posts that sting
At the blink of an eye he does his thing
Like a voice of reason in the World Wide Din
Like a stick through the spokes of the DI spin
Man’s on the ball, make no mistake
If yer pitchin’ BS, he won’t make ya wait.
(… apologies to Adam, Adam, Mike ‘n Mike)
PZ is fifty,
Now that’s rather nifty,
For an old science duffer,
Who’s a hell of a lot tougher,
Than he looks.
I discovered his blog,
When my dad tried to flog,
That dead horse called ID,
Which was annoying to me,
As I understand evolution.
Now I regularly read,
His science and screed,
It entertains and informs,
And usefully performs,
To denounce bullshit.
So happy birthday to Myers,
Who says to deniers,
Of ration and reason,
That your kind are treason,
To an enlightened world.
A Birthday wish for you.
bicentennial
genesis of myers, p
inspires poems of
calamari fete
squid dancing, serial arched,
phylotopic cheer
happy Birthday!
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
you’re related to monkeys
AAAAAAND the rest of us are too!
lame I know. enjoy!
“P” I get, but what’s with Zed?
What was in his parents’ head?
(Yes, his parents had but one.
Where’d he get his sense of fun?
Look no further!) Anyhoo,
Hap-hap-happy Birthday t’you!
Haiku is not my forte, but here is an attempt at a poem in honor of PZ’s birthday.
Zebrafish larvae
Swim smoothly, developing.
PZ learns from them.
And a birthday wishes poem . . .
Zebrafish, zebrafish,
For PZ here’s a birthday wish:
I hope you will drink many beers,
Drive creationists to tears,
And eat an octopus- or squid-based dish.
Happy Day, Dr. Myers! Cheers, ctenotrish.
Fifty is not your true age
This number needs amend
In prime you’re forty-seven
When you round down, my friend.
It’s PZ’s birthday, you see,
And he’s just turned the big fif-ty
So Darwin can rest
‘cos his successor’s the best
And Pharyngula’s great–a certainty.
Professor PZ Myers,
Scourge of science deniers,
Writes a blog that I cherish
So please, publish, don’t perish
What I lack in insight I make up for in brevity:
http://www.lolife.com/blog/archives/000379.html
“Long ago” a Haiku
When PZ was born
cephalopods only had
one short tentacle
You ask me what cephalopods weave below with their sinuous arms;
I tell you, the ocean knows this.
You say how does the zebra fish develop in its transparent egg,
I tell you it’s waiting.
You say who does the macrocystis algae hug in its arms?
Study it. Study it at a certain hour and in a certain laboratory.
You question me about the evolution of vaginas,
and I respond by quoting Pharyngula.
Inquire about the feathered dinosaurs,
Preserved in ancient layers, and I say PZ knows.
I want to tell you that the Professor knows this:
That life, in its jewel boxes, is diverse and unnumbered,
difficult to quantify, pure in its way.
And half a century among the blood colored grapes
has filled his mind with luminous awe,
Just as it fills the jellyfish with light, and unties its knot, letting its musical threads fall
From a horn of plenty made of infinite mother of pearl.
I’m nothing but the hungry net trailing his observant eyes,
Quickened by illumination, clicking through fresh wisdom,
Longitudes in the timid glow of a screen.
I walk around like you investigating the long-lived star
And during the night, dream of naked stones, rocks
That capture and trap Tiktalik and its kin.
Happy Birthday, PZ, with apologies to Pablo Neruda.
Aw, 110010 isn’t *that* old!
(Why are my comments all being held for moderation all of a sudden?)
I’m going to be a jerk and try to direct some traffic over to my offering.
But just so this post has some validity, here’s a haicthu:
Creationists’ fear:
In his office in Morris
Dread PZ waits, blogging.
To the cephalopod fancier
best wishes I will convey
err…
Oh, heck. I suck at poems.
Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PZ!
You may be an old fart, but you gave me m’blogg’n start, t’was ole Pharyngula the first piece I wrote
And it was a shocking post, eh? A nasty foray, a virtually significant jolt … arrghhh ..
I was still swarming, with righty vermin, ugly neocon memes [Parrot squawks: “Ugly Memes“]
You showed me kindness, lifted me up, and I soared away on yer science-y dreams
Who could’a known, arrghh, I’d evolve into an obscure blogg’n star, the course my ship you’d send …
ahoy, you’ll come to a Godless end, PZ m’friend … Just don’t go getting, like, religion, even as the beating wings of mortality descend … arrrgh …
Professor Meyers, all chubby and cute
Once visited a lady of ill repute
When she unzipped his lid
She found only a squid
And charged him eight times her usual loot
Don’t know ya personally, but happy b’day and welcome to the other half. It’s not as bad as it looks from the outside… Really.
Five squid wave their arms
Cephalopods saluting
PZs fifty years
;3FP>M,”_FKE”ad^>*Y.[J7%
;3FP>M,”_FHE”ad^>*Y.[J7%
;3FP>M,”_FHD”ad^>*Y.[J7%
;3FP>M,”_FHD”ad^>*YY[J7%
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;3FP>M,”_FHDaad^>*YYEJ7%
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;aPP>M,”_tHDaYdp>*YYER7{
;aPP>M,”_tHDaYdp>*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_tHDaY p>*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_tHDaY pZ*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*MYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ MYERs{
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
;apPYMB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
;apPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBIrthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBirthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBirthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPY Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy birthday PZ MYeRs!
Happy birthday PZ MYeRs!
Happy birthday PZ MYers!
Happy birthday PZ MYers!
Happy birthday PZ Myers!
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;aPP>M,”_tHDaYdp>*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_tHDaY p>*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_tHDaY pZ*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*YYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ*MYERs{
;aPP>M,”_thDaY pZ MYERs{
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”_thDaY pZ MYERs!
;aPP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthDaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYERs!
;apP>MB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
;apPYMB”rthdaY pZ MYeRs!
;apPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMB”rthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBIrthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBirthday pZ MYeRs!
HapPYMBirthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPY Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy Birthday PZ MYeRs!
HapPy birthday PZ MYeRs!
Happy birthday PZ MYeRs!
Happy birthday PZ MYers!
Happy birthday PZ MYers!
Happy birthday PZ Myers!
Sorry, about being a bit late: I had to line my brain cells up for this…
To the tune of The Londonderry Air (or The London Derrière):
Cephalopod, the pirates, pirates are calling
From Greg to Grrl and Dawkins on the side
The squid are come and astronomers calling
‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide
But come ye back when Skatje’s in the meadow
Or when Larry‘s hushed and Wilkins so
‘Tis we’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Pharyngula, Pharyngula, we love you so
And, err, happy birthday, I suppose.
Bob
PZ Myers is quite the leader
Indeed he does exceed
Exposing the truth as a great sleuth
Creating a neighborhood for public good
My but how Myers inspires
Happy Birthday PZ!!!
The Story of the Kristmas Kraken:
‘Twas the Night Before Krakenmas
Twas the night before Krakenmas, when all through the ocean
Not a creature was stirring, no waves nor commotion;
The stockings were hung on the coral with care,
In hopes that St. Kraken soon would be there.
The sea urchins were nestled all snug in their shells,
While visions of shrimp-puffs danced in the swells.
The Capt’ in his tricorn, and I in my black-patch
Had just belayed the order to batten down the hatch,
When from the ocean’s depth there arose such a rumble,
The ship it rolled leeward, and I took a serious tumble.
I reeled to the stern; blown like from a gale,
And tripped upon the hawsers, and flew over the rail.
The moon on the crest of the waves it did glow
As I sank in the depths of the ocean below.
When, what in loaming gloom should be featured,
But a vast schooner ferried by eight ocean creatures.
I spied a slippery old tentacle, and as I glanced once again,
And knew in a instant it must be St. Kraken.
More rapid than jet skis his dolphins they came,
And he chortled, and bubbled, and called them by name;
“Now, Tursiops! Now, Delphis! Now, Flipper and Sotalia!
On, Stenella! On, Steno! On, Inia and Orcalia!
To the top of the waves! To the top of the squall!
Now Splash away! Splash away! Splash away all!”
Like torrents of water spouts in a hurricane whirl,
When they meet with an obstacle, sputter and swirl,
So too did these dolphins flukes send salt-spray in my eye,
As the toy laden schooner and St. Kraken passed me by.
And then, in a twinkling, I felt round my waist;
The rubbery suction of a padded tentacle was laced.
As I threw up my hands, and thought I was drowned,
I came face-to-face with St. Kraken – The Reknowned.
He was mottled and striped, from his mantle to his head,
And his arms were all wriggling and colored cherry red;
A bundle of toys he had flung across his saddle,
I saw nautical gear, plus a kayak and paddle.
His slit-eyes — how they winked and were more black than brown!
His cheeks, if he had them, would have been plump and round!
His droll little beak was drawn up like a bow,
And the red hat on his head was trimmed white as the snow;
The stump of a mast he held tight in his beak,
It looked fairly ancient; and may once have been Greek.
He had a broad face and a round shell of a belly,
That encased his three hearts as they pumped his life’s jelly.
He was chubby and fleshy, a right jolly old Squid
And I laughed when I saw him — I tell you I DID.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his wares,
And filled all the stockings that hung there with care.
Then turned with a jerk, and went back to his task,
But before he was finished, he gave me a flask.
And raising one tentacle up towards his face,
He gave me the nod to sip a good brace.
When my lips touched the liquid – To the surface I swam;
Compelled by some magic, though good swimmer I am.
No bends, nor bad effect from the salt water had I,
And hastily clambered aboard my ship waiting by.
As I climbed up over the edge of the rail;
I was greeted by my Capt’ – all hearty and hail.
But I glanced back below and I swear I did see,
St. Kraken astride his schooner was he.
He gave to his team of Delphinus a whistle,
And away they all flew like a guided cruise missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he dove out of sight,
‘Happy Krakenmas to all, and to all a good-night!’
And Many Happy Returns of the Day on yer Half-Century mark!
“What the hell rhymes with Pharyngula?”
Behe losing the bacterial thingula
Dembski KOed in the boxing ringula
Shimmies and comments that are totally zing-gulah,
PZ having a B-Day that is positively singulah!
Happy birthday, PZ! (A little late – sorry…)
Another double-dactyl…
Tentacle-spiracle [1]
Professor P. Myers
Held up a beaker
Of squid mesenchyme
Said, “To development
Cephalopodian!”
Added some alcohol
And squeez’d in some lime
[1] This is usually “Higgledy-Piggledy”, but it’s allowed to be different, and I think this is far more appropriate
PZ the Morris atheist,
a cephalopod connaiseur,
posts with glee his online slur
designed for the creationist.
JONATHAN WELLS BIRTHDAY HAIKU FROM JAPAN
that PZ Myers
icon of evolution
still circulating!
Follow up on post #114. But I can write in Dutch!
Lang zullen ze beven
want lang zal hij leven.
Zijn liefde voor de wetenschap
is steeds weer een grote klap
voor hen die liever dom blijven
en weigeren een god uit te drijven.
Zij die geloven in goede en boze geesten
zullen beslist niet feesten,
op deze vrolijke dag.
Dat PZ er nog lang wezen mag!
I may be a writer, but I don’t do poetry.
Well, I do know one that begins “There Once was an Biologist from Nantucket…”
Happy Birthday, Oh Squiddley One.
“PZ Myers, promoter of science fiction!
Evolution! Bah! A mass contradiction!”
His mere damnable presence
Makes the DI doubt God’s existence.
Praise be to squids for his atheistic maledictions!
IDers ‘theories’ (*) says
top blogger Myers are
worthless old drivel and
not worth a clout
those who write Dilbert and
conservapedia –
all that preach ignorance
ought to watch out.
(*) first line is supposed to be some sort of repetitive nonsense. Day job not given up.
My senryu submission:
Rational thinking
Clearly may occur at the
Pharyngula stage
Many happy returns!
Happy birthday, PZ!
Mandatory poem here:
http://brentrasmussen.com/log/node/1224
There once was a man named PZ
Who exposed creationists sleazy
Now his fiftieth year
The creationists still here
Nobody said it would be easy
A while ago, discussing Darwin Day I think, you stated:
Note to self: publish world-shaking Magnum Opus on 50th birthday
…or something very similar.
Can I have a copy, please?
Also, Happy Birthday. No poetry from me, sorry.
In the blogsphere, the mighty blogsphere
PZ posts all night.
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
‘Neath the ocean, the peaceful ocean
Cephalopods frolic tonight
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
Pharyngula
Happy Birthday (and a wish for many more), PZ! Here’s my PZ poem, in Fibonacci style (also known as a Fib):
P
Z
Myers
Atheist
And Biologist
Nemesis of creationists
And the fellows of the Discovery Institute.
Happy birthday PZ!
Happy birthday!
I am not a poet,
and I’m sure about that.
Happy birthday to PZ
Don’t let age fill you with dred
some truly terrible haiku:
IDiots are bleating
Why are there PYGMIES + DWARVES
PZ shakes his fist
What is the sound of
one tentacle clapping
Cephalopods rock
godless liberals
with beards and love of science
girls squeal with delight
Happy Birthday!!! My husband and I will be toasting you tonight.
Let me know how it goes. I’m going to be there next month. Most of those I know who’ve been there have survived it, but I’m not sure……..
PZ
is not easy
only a cephalopod
will move his bod
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
PZ Myers often inspires.
Here’s my PZ poem, in Fibonacci style (also known as a Fib)
Here’s one with a Fibonacci sequence of line lengths:
P
Z
is
the
chief
promoter
of biological
inquiry and unbelief.
Oh my (no) god
Isn’t it odd
PZ turns 50
It’s so nifty
The man who studies Cephalopod
Happy birthday
Now get your PSA tested
Happy birthday, PZ!
Colonoscopy time!
Seriously, happy birthday.
BCH
Thanks be to PZ
Father of the Pharynguloids
Great lifter of fog through the Pharyngula blog
May he help us in our continued quest
for rationality that is best
when god in heaven went to hell
he knew in fact that it would smell
he brought along a little mask
that he thought would serve the task
but along the way to down from up
he was accosted by a pup:
the pup, pz, said to his face
you now have two masks in this race
mask number one, to hide the hollows
mask number two, for all that follows
well, god was peeved but could not speak
yet behind his masks he tried to peek
but there was found a silent space
no cheshire smile, no, not a trace
‘well this won’t do,’ thought the construct
‘for i am god, and hold no truck
with those who seek to measure life
i will not sit beneath your knife!’
but pz showed his hands most clean:
there was no blade, no metal scheme
“i would not cut that which is not
nor shadow box with cosmic rot”
and god was peeved, as gods will do
he grimaced and said, while looking blue
“i can prove that i exist:
faith will out or i’ll be pissed”
“step right up, and play most jaunty
a game of shells, or three card monte?
those who need a god the most
reduce all wonder to milquetoast”
and pz smiled as he spoke
but there was silence at his joke
and that was all the lord could take
his masks by two revealed most fake;
the game must never end with light
the bronze age gods must say good night
the truth is not that hard to handle:
just light a cake with fifty candles
and what you see, that grinning host
has not yet given up the ghost!
+++
Posted on my blog:
It’s still the 9th …
… so I guess I’m not too late to wish PZ a happy birthday.
His was one of the first blogs on my list, before I even knew what a blogroll was. And I still check it at least a couple of times daily.
But there’s no way I’m going to be able to write him a poem, after reading the entries already. Unless a couple of lines of doggerel count.
Americans say P.
Zee.
The rest of us, we
Say P. Zed.
But we
All said
Have a happy, P.Z!*
(*However you want to pronounce it.)
Born on the same day as Osama*
You came into this world from a hole in your momma
But after that you followed another path
Away from the insanity that religion brings
Towards science and squids and other cool things
Happy Bidet!
*Allowing for time zones, yes…you were.
Happy half century!
Since PZ is busy, let me disemvowel Yee Haw! for him:
Brthd Hk fr PZ Mrs:
PZ s fft
pt th brn dd t nn
ld, stpd sshl
Just be glad you weren’t born 4 years earlier, like my dad. March 9, 1953; the day Stalin was buried.
Welcome to the club. Men in their fifties know more, are wiser, more amusing, better looking and better in bed.
There was an old Prof called Paul Myers
Whose motor had Darwinist tyres
When fifty he did
They evolved into squid
And carried him off to the mire.
I’m a well wisher
Hoping you have many more
Go Pharyngula!
Glory to PZ
Who led
and long may lead
whom read
and weed out
the louts
of irationality
to posterity
Happy (Birth+1)day!
I don’t know PZ
But happy birthday to you
Have a bad haiku
There once was a professor of biology,
who knew more than most re theology.
His audience they applauded,
his bloggings they lauded,
but they weren’t worth a crap at
rhyming Happy Birthday!
I like big brains and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
that when PZ walks in with a great big brain
causing the creationists pain
you get SPRUNG, scientists got PZ’s back
Brain so big he can’t fit in a hat.
Deep in the beard he’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh PZ, I wanna get witcha
Print out your profile picture!
Creationists tried to warn me
but your big brain makes me so horny
Oooh, lump of wrinkled skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Selection pressure, and pressure
cuz you ain’t the average professor
I’ve seen you postin’
the hell with boastin’!
He’s snarky, smart, hip
got it goin’ like a computer chip
I’m tired of magazines
saying ID is the thing
ask a prof questions that probe,
you gotta pack much lobe
So ladies! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has PZ got the smarts?
Yeah!
Tell him to calculate, calculate
calculate with that brain!
PROLOGUE from Dr. NORTON MOISE
[rededicated hereinunder for PZ Myers]
by
JONATHAN VOS POST
We speak of Man, evolved in nature
with keen senses and emotion:
thus the power of observation
and the freedom of locomotion.
Eden: peaceful, but still penal;
Man is not trapped by abstraction.
He is driven by the adrenal,
the gland that drives us all to action.
Brains evolved for nomenclature,
reasoning, communication.
He organized, imagination
led him towards a legislature.
But now the problem of controls,
deceit, confusion, and frustration
grew from conflicts between goals
of group and family, self and nation.
The adrenal’s no magician,
it still cannot recognize
messages about cognition
that intend to civilize.
We seek the means for living well;
for us to find the just solutions
we must know in parallel
both ourselves and institutions.
We cannot quickly change our ways;
we must refashion what we’ve built
To fit our nature, without guilt,
then live in peace for all our days!
1030-1120
5 June 87
http://magicdragon.com/EmeraldCity/Poetry/Moise.html
I don´t know who the hell are you,
hope you’re as good as Scoby Doo.
Feliz cumpleaños desde Perú.
Half way there
half full/half empty
half witted pome from a
half a mile away
with
half a mind to write more
next year.
happy birthday stranger
Here’s where I am logically led:
God never was or now’s dead.
PZ hasn’t had jolts
From celestial bolts —
He generates lightning instead!
Happy birthday – buon compleanno – buen cumpleano!
Keep shaking the blogosphere out of creationsim!
Love the posts from the host with the most
A great source of science information
Passion for the world of wonder
Humour that makes laughter as loud as thunder
Rock on PZ!
Pharyngula, Pharyngula,
Poor creationists it will screw ya.
(Love and Marriage if you must know.)
Happy Birthday.
Thank you for many interested reads and much food for thought.
Welcome to the other half of the century. By the way I have been here almost 3 weeks longer than you. I can’t figure out why people think it’s so bad. I still don’t feel any older than 16 (except when I get out of bed in the morning).
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
My Brother-in-law is great,
And his sister-in-law too.
Love you,
Linda
i’m still catching up from way back at the beginning of March – you write so many darn articles every day I can’t keep up!
Happy Happy Birthday
From all of us to you
I can’t pronounce Pharyngula
so I’ll leave that to you.
On this special day of days
I wish you lots of fun
so pause your blog, give thanks to LOG
and go and git’er done.
:-)