Oh, my. This really is too much. “Bo Duke” actor John Schneider just served 5 hours in jail for repeatedly failing to pay back alimony and child support. He was scheduled to serve 3 days, but the Los Angeles jails were overcrowded. To what does he attribute his good luck horrible persecution? Fox News will tell ya:
Schneider alleged that his conservative values may have hurt him in court, adding that it’s time for more of his fellow Hollywood stars to “come out of the Republican closet.”
“I do think there’s a bias against conservatives, Republicans, in Hollywood, but I think if you let that alter how you are, then I question how you are,” he said. “If you believe it, speak it, live it.”
Aww. I feel so bad for the 58-year old wealthy white guy. But wait! If that didn’t jerk you around by your heartstrings, check this out:
“Going to jail was nothing like I ever imagined it was going to be,” Schneider told us. “First of all, I was given no preferential treatment at all except they didn’t detain me with the general population.
“I was arrested, I was searched, I was handcuffed, I had my wallet and my phone and they took my belt and shoelaces and it was put into a plastic bag,” the 58-year-old recalled.
“It was totally life-changing,” he added.
What. The. Freud.
Seriously, white conservative guys, you need to catch some clues. As I understand it, there are a bunch of clues running loose in the Antarctic circumpolar current: you should head down there right now.
So, his punishment was to basically spend 5 hours at a TSA airport security checkpoint? Oh the horrors.
And no gen pop.
Totally not preferential treatment. Nope. None at all.
:/
I wonder if the LAPD keeps a database of “has-been stars still able to muster media attention” to get the kid-gloves totally-life-changing treatment.
Totally life changing? I’m sure ex wife and child will be happy to hear that he’s going to man up now.
If he was a working stiff the courts would garnish his wages for that back support. How persecuted he would be then!
I do love the implication that conservative = deadbeat fathers, though.
This story was totally day-changing. I wasn’t laughing this much before.
What, global warming isn’t melting the ice cap fast enough for you, you want to add more hot air swirling around down there?
Somehow he’s managed to be even more ironically oblivious than Craig T. Nelson’s poor-me lament of “I’ve been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No.”