WTF men?


Why you gotta?

 

“Stereotypical feminine behavior and attitudes are more in parallel with taking care of the environment,” Wilkie said of the findings. “Male traits tend to conflict with this idea of maintaining a nice environment for other people.”

[A] 2011 survey from the global marketing firm Ogilvy and Mather found 82 percent of adults in a nationally representative sample said “going green” is more ladylike than manly.

O.o

Seems some of you d00ds never quite outgrew the “ew girl cooties!” stage from when you were 9. This is a masculinity that is quite literally toxic.

The article doesn’t mention it, but this tendency reeks of entitlement at least as much as it does masculine fragility.

Or maybe it’s just me? Entitlement is maybe (okay probably?) front and center in my mind right now: about fifteen minutes ago, I was harassed on the street (“Hey mama! You got it going on! Whoa you’re so put together! Damn!”) by a d00d who became more and more agitated as I continued to ignore him.

“Hey! HEY! HEY MAMA! HEY! HEYYYYY! M’AM! M’AAAAAAAM! HEY!”

I was afraid to turn around, to find out whether the d00d was following me and coming closer, or (ideally) staying put and just getting louder.

In the real world, in real time, I have to make split second judgments about whether to engage or ignore a rando d00d on the street.

Smile and say thank you? I’d better be prepared for some kind of escalation, including being followed, talked at obscenely, touched and groped, or worse.

Ignore? I’d still better be prepared for some kind of escalation including being followed, talked at obscenely, touched and groped, or worse.

Tell him to go fuck himself? So as to, you know, disincentivize similar behavior in the future? I WANT TO. But. Well. I’m sure you get the picture.

My “choice” of response, if you can even call it that, is hardly a rational decision. And why would it be? There are no optimal responses, no winning strategies, no hedge-your-bets statistical algorithms or killer apps you can just call up on your iPhone. Even if there were, the (rational) fear of imminent violence will override your high-level brain functions no matter who you are: you will involuntarily shift to fight-or-flight mode, whether you want to or not. That reaction is ancient and inevitable when it comes to sentient life on Earth.

__________

I eventually found myself out of earshot of the catcalls, if just barely. I think it’s because another *shiny object* was now approaching him and became his new target. Unfortunately.

I felt relief, and then guilt. How is this in any way a win?

I still think, upon reflection and after my heart rate has slowed, that there is a very real connection between this masculine sense of entitlement to demand dominion over women and dominion over the Earth.

__________

Pro tip for d00ds: If you want to enjoy a pink drink (Aperol Martini HELLO?!) then fucking order one.

 


Comments

  1. chigau (違う) says

    A pop-psych “study” done on college students by a business prof.
    That just screams scientific rigor, don’t it?
    —–
    I’m glad your street encounter didn’t go any further.
    I don’t get the “pink drink” reference.

  2. says

    chigau: I was referring to this:

    a 2011 survey from the global marketing firm Ogilvy and Mather found 82 percent of adults in a nationally representative sample said “going green” is more ladylike than manly.

    And:

    “If a man at a bar were to order a girlie drink, he might get some looks,” Wilkie said. “He might get some snickers. He might even get into a fight.”

    #drinkpink

  3. chigau (違う) says

    Iris
    Ah. I understand.
    I drinks rum.
    Lemon Hart mixed with room-temperature water or sometimes room-temperature tea.
    Sometimes I drink beer.
    I don’t grok gadgety drinks but I think that everyone should be able to drink whatever they want.
    Drinky police are second-cousins to the panty sniffers.

  4. Dunc says

    Well, I’m not a fan of anything weird in a Martini (I’m a very old-fashioned, 2:1 gin / vermouth kinda guy) but I do enjoy an Aperol Spritz… Also a great cocktail which I know as a “Garden Party”, which is 50ml gin, 25ml Aperol, 20ml lemon juice and 10ml simple syrup, hard shaken over ice with six leaves of fresh basil, then double-strained into a rocks glass over ice and garnished with more fresh basil. Pink as hell, but then I’m pretty secure in my gender identity. I sew too. Never got into a fight about it though… I don’t drink in those sorts of bars, as a rule.

    I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with these people.

    Question: is growing your own vegetables girly or manly? On the on hand, it involves sweat and dirt, but on the other, it’s gardening, plus vegetables… It’s all so confusing.

  5. tbtabby says

    For the dudebros who think it’s not “manly” to protect the environment: You’re saying Teddy Roosevelt wasn’t manly.

  6. chigau (違う) says

    Dunc
    re: gardening
    Potatoes are manly because of the shovelling.
    Tomatoes are womanly because they are red.

  7. says

    “Stereotypical feminine behavior and attitudes are more in parallel with taking care of the environment,” Wilkie said of the findings. “Male traits tend to conflict with this idea of maintaining a nice environment for other people.”

    Damn. I’d hoped we could fool them with all the technology that comes with environmentalism.

    You know, it’s your problem if you drop dead at 50 because eating your veggies is “girly”, but this is killing people, so your male fragility be damned.
    As for pink drinks: I’m glad Mr’s masculinity is strong enough to handle strawberry daiquiris. It’s seriously sad to see boys (as in actual kids) turn down delicious food because it’s made from naturally pink ingredients.

  8. chigau (違う) says

    Dunc
    dunno
    I have some yellow tomatoes on the patio.
    I don’t know how to classify them, either.

  9. Dunc says

    Somebody should compile a definitive list of gender-codings for vegetables. I’d hate to think I was risking my masculinity by growing effeminate veg…

  10. Dunc says

    Could go either way… I’m growing mini cucumbers this year, so I’m probably screwed. I bet they’re coming to take away my Man Card right now.

  11. Pierce R. Butler says

    As a science-fiction-reading teenage nerd, I long ago decided that saving-the-world is an acceptable Guy Thing.

    Still waiting for the babes in fishbowl helmets and bronze bikinis to help out with the requisite ducking & clutching…

  12. KG says

    Whatever you do, if you grow eggplants I will just despise you like Iris would for breeding squirrels.

    Aubergines OK? ;-)