MonsterHearts 2025 – Day Four

Don’t Miss Posts.  This MonsterHearts, I’m also having one regular post a day, if you should prefer that kind of thing.  Just look at the posts before or after this one.

MonsterHearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we march toward Valentine’s Day, the theme is supernatural romance.  For this first few, I’ve tried to just use “edit” mode in MidJourney to iron out irregularities, even trying to make a legible title in the AI program.  While it’s cool you can now hammer the hands and text into shape, there are a lot of disadvantages to doing that, as opposed to just photoshopping what you need to fix, or placing your title just so.  Surprised I’ve kept up the effort this long.  You can see how the title is a little smaller than one would prefer, and lower in the composition than it should be – a good visual demonstration of the problem.

MONSTER HEARTS DAY FOUR:  OVERPOWERED

TITLE:  PANDORA ADORER

CHARACTERS:  Pandora: a Primeval Force of Nature, Christiane: a four-hundred-year-old kinda immortal lesbian.

PREMISE:  Pandora was an remnant of the divine creation of the world – a tool to generate the life that would fill the mortal realm.  If she opens her legs, monsters come out, and run riot upon the earth.  This wouldn’t be a problem, but she had a great weakness for falling in love, and wanting to bone the hell down.  She met the best lay ever in about 1650 in the Swiss Confederacy, Christiane, who should maybe be called Fistiane, if ya know what I’m sayin’.

THE HOOK:  Whenever she gets laid, manifold demons are unleashed upon the earth.  But the last thing that comes out of her is always something that will help kill those demons, if properly applied, be it a magic talisman or weapon or whatever.  This is the gift of hope.  Also, it’s the tool the lovers use to clean up after themselves, whenever they cave to their heart’s desires and get it on.  Lovers on Tuesday, monster hunters for months afterward.  Pandora’s box is overpowered, but it helps keep Christiane young.

 

MonsterHearts 2025 – Day Three

Don’t Miss Posts.  This MonsterHearts, I’m also having one regular post a day, if you should prefer that kind of thing.  Just look at the posts before or after this one.

MonsterHearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we march toward Valentine’s Day, the theme is supernatural romance.  For this first few, I’ve tried to just use “edit” mode in MidJourney to iron out irregularities, even trying to make a legible title in the AI program.  While it’s cool you can now hammer the hands and text into shape, there are a lot of disadvantages to doing that, as opposed to just photoshopping what you need to fix, or placing your title just so.  Probably won’t keep up the effort for long… The snowy owl on this one ended up with those lil feather “horns” that you see on other owl species, not so much in snowy owls…  whatever.

MONSTER HEARTS DAY THREE:  HYBRID

TITLE:  EMBRACE OF THE OWL BOY

CHARACTERS:  Jenny Fred: a Koyukon / Irish teen, Lemmy Reyes: a Filipino / Anglo / Koyukon teen and Owl’d Boy.

PREMISE:  Jenny is the coolest girl in school but she’s fallen for bad boy Lemmy.  Lemmy is not at all smart, and decides to steal the most expensive thing in town, to pay for their elopement, somewhere far away.  But the artifact is cursed, and he turns into a giant humanoid snowy owl -type thing.

THE HOOK:  Why must I be a teenager in love?  You know how these things go, when the genre was in its heyday.  An actor that will someday be more famous, like Michael Landon or Steve McQueen or Charles Bronson, he plays a teen that gets mutated into a monster.  The less famous girl who will one day become a tabloid footnote barbiturate OD, she is imperiled, and screams.  The authorities shoot boy as he runs away.  His body transforms back into a human shape, while she says something like, who are the real monsters?

MonsterHearts 2025 – Day Two

Don’t Miss Posts.  This MonsterHearts, I’m also having one regular post a day, if you should prefer that kind of thing.  Just look at the posts before or after this one.

MonsterHearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we march toward Valentine’s Day, the theme is supernatural romance.  For this first few, I’ve tried to just use “edit” mode in MidJourney to iron out irregularities, even trying to make a legible title in the AI program.  While it’s cool you can now hammer the hands and text into shape, there are a lot of disadvantages to doing that, as opposed to just photoshopping what you need to fix, or placing your title just so.  Probably won’t keep up the effort for long.

MONSTER HEARTS DAY TWO:  SHADOWY

TITLE:  A SHADOW OF LOVE

CHARACTERS:  Carla Butler: the Debutante, Lavonne Tipton: a The Shadow

PREMISE:  Some rich white dude found himself with the power to see what evil lurks in the hearts of mans, and sought to overcome the urgings of his own dark shadow by questing for justice.  He learned the skill to cloud men’s minds, and became something of a monster.  A monster for goodness, outside of society, fighting crime, forever misunderstood.

What he didn’t know was that being a The Shadow is kinda like vampirism.  He created a new category of creature – in himself – and ultimately passed the curse to one of his underworld associates.  Lavonne found herself seeing evil lurks and doing the mind clouding.  She came to feel that her life as a lady hustler was a disguise, an illusion, and that her true self was blasting on thugs with paired .45s.

While working the Case of the Sacred Scorpions, Lavonne encountered a lady of economic privilege, socially isolated due to being biracial in a place and time where that could be socially isolating.  Carla became fascinated, but her father was like, don’t even think about it, girl.

THE HOOK:  Too late, dad.  Carla was going to bag that Shadow, if she had to become a criminal to get her attention.  Forbidden hijinks ensue.

MonsterHearts 2025 – Day One

Don’t Miss Posts.  This MonsterHearts, I’m also having one regular post a day, if you should prefer that kind of thing.  Just look at the posts before or after this one.

MonsterHearts is a 14 day event (named after a pervy RPG) wherein my writing group votes on a monster each day to include in a story concept.  As we march toward Valentine’s Day, the theme is supernatural romance.  For this first one, I tried to just use “edit” mode in MidJourney to iron out irregularities, even trying to make a legible title in the AI program.  While it’s cool you can now hammer the hands and text into shape, there are a lot of disadvantages to doing that, as opposed to just photoshopping what you need to fix, or placing your title just so.  Probably won’t keep up the effort.

MONSTER HEARTS DAY ONE:  NAUTICAL

TITLE:  LAY HIM IN WATER LILIES

CHARACTERS:  Brother Crispian: the Exorcist, Childeric: the Faun

PREMISE:  A mysterious young dude is tempting all the men of the village into gay dalliances and then being entirely too forthright about the fact when asked.  There are hints he is a supernatural creature, up to no good.  Whatever the case, gotta put the inquisitional spurs to his pale hide.

THE HOOK:  The only way to cleanse the world of Childeric’s sin is to plant a knife in his body – representing each man he has made filthy, thus taking the sin back from them – and for him to be drowned in the river, beneath the water lilies.  So sayeth Father Auribrande.  But you really wanna put a knife in that, Brother Crispian?  Really?

Destroy Pop Culture?

FtB’s Abbey St. Brendan wrote about the outing of Neil Gaiman as a cruel sex criminal, from the perspective of someone who has had a lot of affection for his and others’ contributions to the constellation of pop culture – from the perspective of a fan.  I’ve never fully held the fan point of view, and less so now than when I was young.  Even when I’m looking at a piece of pop media I greatly enjoy, it’s from a critical perspective – if not an especially incisive or thoughtful one.  I’m just very aware of artifice, and stan nothing.

And so watching somebody else deal with these repeated failings of famous purveyors of narrative art, not being someone who ever was fully on board with that art, again set me navel-gazing about my anti-fandom instincts.  Why do I get to be immune to this brand of hurt, and could or should that benefit be extended to others?  It feels more significant with Gaiman, because he was, in a sense, the last man standing of big fantasy authors.  There may be other people making books -especially for kids- who are making more dollars, moving more ink, but his cultural stature was top tier.  Whedon, JKR, and Gaiman were the big ones of this young millennium, inspiring the most fan content, the most devotion.  Bing, bang, boom.

I still haven’t quite hit the nail on the head of what makes me uncomfortable with fandom itself.  I could put all sorts of aphorisms to it (“I’m not a joiner” etc.), but none of them fully express it.  Maybe it’ll come to me while I’m on the john seven years from now, and if FtB still exists, you’ll find out.  In the meantime, the simple version is that I’m more of a cultural outsider than the typical “geek” – been isolated in my own dreams and the weird shit my husband shares with me for decades now, and anything outside that is dabbling at best.

Like when I last had cable and I would watch kung fu movies on El Rey.  I never did put posters of kung fu boys up on the wall, never cosplayed as the master of the flying guillotine, never rewrote Five Deadly Venoms to where my author insert gets to bone down with the Venom Mob.  (Shit, maybe I’m missing out…)

I don’t communicate with people who share unreserved excitement for the same things, and I think that communication is key.  My husband and I like a lot of the same things, but the things we love the most are just slightly out of sync, never quite the same stuff.  So neither of us has the shared excitement that is foundational to true fandom mindset.  I’m deffos more normcore than that goth bastid, but still not truly a fan of anything anybody else is a fan of.  (am i the only person on this blog network who does not see the appeal in terry pratchett?)  And so I find these affections easy to discard.

Back to the point: Seeing people go through this ordeal reminded me of a time when I saw somebody viscerally upset by the idea of dispensing with fan culture.  During some kind of discourse, an iconoclast suggested we should truly commit to elevating the indie by refusing to follow the big properties, and this fan felt personally hurt by it in a way that surprised me.  I then realized there is an inherent value in large shared fandoms, and pop culture in general, and it is something they share with religion and folklore going back to before Gilgamesh.

When we are given a narrow selection of cultural content, elevated through whatever means to be the only shit we’re allowed to look at, we are all on the same page.  It’s common culture, a bond that can be shared among all who experience it.  I’m about to get into what I hate about it, but this is, I think what feels needful about it.  The fan culture defender above was given a glimpse of a world without touchstones, where a million microfandoms are scattered like bricks from the Tower of Babel – a world where everyone is alone in what they love, and what they live for.

I don’t have a good answer for what to use to replace that, if art radicals were able to magically abolish pop culture, but I’m going to make the case for just that.  We should destroy pop culture.

Firstly, I’m going to define my terms.  By pop culture I mean art that has been elevated to the commercial mass market, be it fiction or music, video games or cinema or visual art.  If millions of people can pay money to experience it, if there’s an oligarchy of business creeps speculating on it, if there is a brain drain in the legal profession of your country as all law students flock to the lucrative field of intellectual property, if there are a million starving artists facing verbal, physical, and sexual abuse in order to be a part of it, it might be pop culture.

Pop culture can be very entertaining.  It can even have artistic merit.  Kurt Cobain was once on the cover of Rolling Stone in a white T-shirt with the sharpie-penned slogan, “corporate rock still sucks.”  But does it?  I don’t know.  I still love Guns ‘n’ Roses, get a goofy kick out of Def Leppard and Queensryche.  Major labels.  Shit, The Butthole Surfers were on Capitol Records, right?  What is it to suck?  Suck can be found everywhere from MTV to podunk night club, as can genius.  And of course, pop culture has the benefit of being a shared experience, in the way indie art cannot achieve.

But the pop culture machine is evil, and the best way to break that evil would be to just walk away from it all.  For the moment at least, the internet has a lot of avenues for pursuing obscure art.  You don’t have to special order a magazine from Norway to find out about the latest metal bands.  You don’t have to listen to the only radio station that reaches Tierra del Fuego.  You don’t have to watch any TV show that’s been produced in the last thirty years, and can still have a lifetime of TV to watch.  Sometimes it’ll take some work, but you can make it happen.  And if more people walk away from pop culture, the alternative avenues will increase.

How is the pop culture machine evil?  Abbey touched on it in her article, even if it wasn’t her intention.  She mentions that getting one’s art published means you passed a gauntlet of gatekeeping, with schmoozing and playing the game – a game that serves the privileged, that rewards questionable practices.  I say like everything under capitalism, it’s driven by a greed that can never be sated, which corrupts or harms everything it touches – including the art itself.

Auteurs are elevated and surrounded by lawyers and agents and media leeches, people who shovel drugs and sycophancy and manipulation upon them, play their egos until – even if they started as a decent person – they turn into creeps.  The movie Swimming With Sharks was a fantasia that arguably justified the cruelty as the cost of Hollywood magic™ – or the opposite intent, you know how hipsters be – but it gives you an idea of what the gauntlet can look like.  You want to make art, expect the legalized slavery of internships, expect abuse, and forget a livable wage.  The “casting couch” of sex abuse isn’t just for actors, though it hits them the hardest.  After Dr. Luke faced allegations of sex abuse from Ke$ha, how many women in the industry were still willing to work with him, hoping to squeak out another hit, ride the fame rocket into the ground?

Even the union jobs got people living like migrant workers, working multiple jobs just to afford splitting the rent with multiple roommates.  People in the higher tiers have reason to see the newbies as competition to be suppressed.  In the field of publishing, there have been multiple scandals involving “mean girls clubs” of established authors meeting in internet backrooms to shit on and plot against newer authors.  Everybody hates everybody and everybody is out for blood.  The sausage of pop culture art is made out of people.

People say organize, unionize, organize, like that can make a real difference in the arts.  It can’t because the magic of reaching pop status – of even secondhand fame – lures a bottomless well of replacements into the grinder.  There is no amount of unionization that can barricade the World War Z flow of zombie scabs.  I haven’t even mentioned nepotism yet.  You get the idea.

The human cost is the worst aspect of mass media art, but intellectual property law, corrupted to hell by media oligarchy lobbyists, has caused irreparable damage to history.  How many movies, novels, songs have been lost forever, rotted in the vaults of dragon kings?  Or sued out of existence because unreasonable boundaries drawn up by Disney and the RIAA?  Current events have poor artists clamoring for expansions of copyright law, which is like Palestinians clamoring for Israel to get more bombs.

And everything corporations do just gets worse with time, in rolling boom-bust cycles.  See what Disney is doing with its multi-billion dollar franchises.  Waste of fuckin’ time.  The only good thing about it is watching them lose money.  And also, for me, to watch the corporate art I used to find diverting twisted, at last, into a form repellent enough that I can look away, in full confidence that I am missing nothing of value.

I’ve mentioned before that I want to see art emerge from the shadow of commerce.  This will probably never happen until commerce itself eats the world, but I view it as something to aspire toward.  Anybody that can make art for free should.  Maybe I’ll have the gumption to do that someday, but for the moment I’m too economically insecure to throw away a lottery ticket chance of commercial success, no matter how slim.  Some things I do will be for free, like the first draft of Josefina and Blasfemia vs The Wall of Ice, or Centennial Hills.  But I hope you don’t think me too hypocritical in charging for some things.  We (artists) are all hobos rattling tin cans on the street corner, at the end of the day – or bourgie sellouts propping up the abusive system that lets a few token successes man the ramparts.

But one beautiful day, let it come, maybe we’ll all say “fuck that noise” and leave corporate media in the dust, to chase better dreams.  Maybe we can destroy pop culture.

Add:  It occurs to me some may see this as saying artists should not be paid.  I only mean that insofar as I think nobody should be paid for any kind of labor, or everybody should be paid enough to live on and that’s it.  The idea is you work every angle until you get the magic golden ticket, that this proves you are better or more deserving than those that suffer in poverty?  I used to be more OK with it, but it’s the fuckin’ lottery that’s been sold to us as a way to let lich lords destroy everything that’s good in the world for ugly, ugly gold.  I don’t know shit about fuck, but I do know I hate competition for resources, for affection, for life itself.  Clearly civilization is on its slow hideous way out, and when it goes, I hope survivors will learn to base the next world on cooperation instead.

PrAIse Jeezes

For reasons, I wanted to create an image of jeezis that looked like an old Klasky-Csupo cartoon, like Rugrats, Ahh Real Monsters, or Wild Thornberrys.  Trying this in midj came back with very undignified results, quite amusing to me.  You should be scared, jeezis.  I hate you and I’m coming for your ass.

Anyway, I actually wanted a result with smaller eyes, like the Thornberrys, but I did like the vibes on those ones, so I used one as an image prompt, while using words to tease out smaller eyeballs.  I said “little tiny eyes” and –no large eyes, bulgy eyes, big eyes.  However, when using a bug-eyed image prompt and telling it to not make bug-eyes, I broke the AI’s mind.  Results:

Eldritch, son.  Once again, I was heartily amused, tho I gave up on making smol eyes, for now.

Next, unrelated, I was trying to get some ideas for motifs, rendering style, and composition, in a heraldic design.  Composition isn’t my strong suit as a visual artist.  This was a really strong result, and shows what I was looking for: not an image I could use as my final design, but something that can inform aspects of it.

The next one had a more rough-hewn texture and chiaroscuro that was appealing in other ways.  I have a wealth of inspirations to choose from, with a few pushes of a button.  I likes AI art tools.

I also like randomly recombining unrelated AI works, just to see what comes out, so putting previous jeezies together with heraldry, I got…

Again, love the indignity.  Nice texture too.  This next one brings back the chickenshitness of the klasky-csupo messiae.

But this is my favorite, reflecting my feelings on the big mans.  Catch one in the dome, motherfucker.  Catch you on the flipside.

 

You Had the Surgery? Paper Doll Edition

I had a consciousness-raising experience about transgender people shortly after age thirty.  I don’t think I was a complete shit before that, but did have a few embarrassing missteps along the path.  I’ve always watched people around me more than I should, and during that time I started noticing whenever a person was androgynous or trans, and wondering, what’s that person got in their pants*?  Classic wildly offensive goof, which mostly had the self-awareness to stay unspoken.

But this instinct was reawakened in me by an image set on tumblr, from an anime called Oniisama E, or Dear Brother….  For some reason, there are girls in that show drawn with the proportions of androgenized bods.  Broad shoulders, narrow hips, tall faces that make a forehead look short, strong chin, no visible breasts most of the time…  These are the idolized glamorous older girls too, not shunned weirdos.  And in the haze of this creepy terfesque genital obsession, I asked these paper dolls if they’d had, you know, the surgery..?

The answer is no, near as I can tell without watching the whole series and translating Japanese fan wikis.  One of them gets breast cancer in high school (u got spoiled!  as if you care lol).  They’re cis-girls, in that universe.  If somebody felt like watching the whole thing with the assumption they are trans in mind and doing the queer critical lens thing, that might be a diverting experiment.

I asked chat j’ai pété about it, and it said the original manga writer was inspired by the Takarazuka Revue, which seemed the opposite of what I’d expect to be the reason.  Also, the drawings from the original comic did not seem as fully masculine as the ones in the animated adaptation.  So, a hallucination, it seems.

Do any of you know if there’s a cultural reason why these anime cis girls look so non-passingly trans?  I don’t get the impression my comment section is bubbling with otaku energies, but I might as well crowd-source my curiosity.  This article isn’t the best showcase for it, but the cartoon looks very beautiful, which may be why it gripped me.  One of the less manly girls looks like Sean Young in Bladerunner, but they’re all very cute.  Never dubbed or subbed in English, so it slips away.

*I think the vast majority of trans people will never, very seldom, or only situationally pass as cis, so the idea of passing as the singular goal of transition – the only fix for dysphoria – is harmful, even if it’s understandable that many of us are obsessed with it.

But still, even pretty hip people can be fooled hard by human androgyny.  I had a high school teacher with no breasts, an adam’s apple, and a deep cleft chin – who got pregnant and carried that baby to term.  Intersex but still functional, or just nature flexing on us?  I dunno.  Likewise, during my creepy shifty-eyed time, I had taken a skinny lady with an angular face as probably trans, and a few years later saw the same lady pregnant.

Most of the time you aren’t going to get a big tell like that, so you gotta learn to quell that curiosity when it arises.  I did it; you can too.

Spooktober Day Thirty-One

SPOOKTOBER 2024!

Spooktober is a 31 day event of coming up with original horror ideas based on prompts my writing group voted on.  Carrying forward from last year we’re having optional sub-themes and I’m trying to do them all like Debbie do Dallas.  Book covers made with midjourney and photopea.

SPOOKTOBER DAY #31 — PLAYER’S CHOICE
(× Alien/Space or Anime or Backwoods or Clones/Doppelgangers or Competition or Creepy Kid or Creepypasta/Urban Legend or Cursed Object or Cyberpunk or Darkweb/Technology or Holiday or J-Horror or Killer Animal or Killer Toys or Lost Media or Lovecraftian or Mad Scientist or Spoopy/Pumpkincore or Stephen King Style)

TITLE:  Hallowar

PREMISE:  It’s ON.  In the cyberpunk dystopia (Cyberpunk) there are haves and have-nots.  The well-to-do have a pristine network of MMOs where everybody dwells in beauty and light, the poor have a grotty gore-filled indie basement (Darkweb) called Halloween Online 2.0 (Pumpkincore).  The most influential character there has a child-like avatar (Creepy Kid) but everybody assumes they must be older, right?  That character declares a PvP event (Competition) called Hallowar (roll credits) (Holiday).

The PvP area resembles the US Northeast in fall colors (Stephen King Style), with rows of classic homes on shadowy leaf-strewn lanes.  All the NPCs have been turned into killer ghosts (J-Horror) that sometimes possess dolls (Killer Toys), but is it safer in the craggy tree-covered hills (Backwoods) inspired by The Colour Out of Space (Lovecraftian)?  No, those are full of mutated animals that hate life and love death (Killer Animal).

The timing of the event is such that the tactic of “kill all other players then take time with the puzzle” is not tenable, so all the players are both racing to investigate the mysteries, and fighting each other, with short-term alliances and much treachery.  The mystery plot is about an anime (Anime) that has gone out of print (Lost Media), but if you find a copy (Cursed Object) and watch it, you’ll die (Creepypasta).  Three copies quickly turn up, and players stop taking each other out with shovels and croquet mallets, instead tricking each other into watching the tapes.

But just how many lives do you get in this game?  Nobody said anything about multiple lives, but some players are coming back for another round, even after being killed (Clones/Doppelgangers).  They’re accused of hacking, but there’s something wrong with these avatars, and that suspicion is replaced with worse ones.

HORROR ELEMENT:  The answer to the mystery, when revealed, has to do with a mad scientist (Mad Scientist) who tried to contact aliens (Aliens) and brought their murder-ghosts down to earth in the form of killer EVP and such.  All you have to do to win is be the first to take out the scientist, right?  But in parallel to the events of the game, participants have been acting creepy IRL, and it’s becoming clear they’ve all been the victims of some kind of mad science.  The child avatar emcee appears from inside the lab coat, to offer the last survivors some kind of explanation – or perhaps just to gloat.  Your souls belong to the game now.  Happy Halloween.

Spooktober Day Thirty

SPOOKTOBER 2024!

Spooktober is a 31 day event of coming up with original horror ideas based on prompts my writing group voted on.  Carrying forward from last year we’re having optional sub-themes and I’m trying to do them all like Debbie do Dallas.  Book covers made with midjourney and photopea.

SPOOKTOBER DAY #30 — UNDEAD
(× Reptiles or Stranded/Desert Island or Extreme Weather)

TITLE:  Charles Darwin vs the Imps of Darkness

PREMISE:  Guess who’s back?  It’s ya boy Chaz, and he survived the mutated brain-sucking finches.  With all the finches back to normal or wiped out with shotgun blasts, they’ve left Darwin alone on San Cristóbal (Stranded) with the bodies of the rest of the Beagle‘s crew, all hollowed out skulls and drifts of down.  In his sorrow he talks with the dead, moving among them to scavenge supplies.  A mysterious fog descends, so thick nothing can be seen (Extreme Weather), and he falls into a tide pool sobbing.

HORROR ELEMENT:  Marine Iguana druids (Reptiles) come to land when the fog is thick, and behold the mournful man.  He wants to see his friends live.  Undead is close enough, right?  They raise the crew as horrid zombies (Undead) that shamble and do strange things with what’s left of their bodies.  Darwin is even more traumatized, and goes to war against the “Imps of Darkness.”  Will he defeat his reptilian would-be benefactors?  Well, IRL Darwin is dead and marine iguanas aren’t extinct yet, so…

Spooktober Day Twenty-Nine

SPOOKTOBER 2024!

Spooktober is a 31 day event of coming up with original horror ideas based on prompts my writing group voted on.  Carrying forward from last year we’re having optional sub-themes and I’m trying to do them all like Debbie do Dallas.  Book covers made with midjourney and photopea.

SPOOKTOBER DAY #29 — SMALL CREATURES
(× Victorian or Forest or Holiday)

TITLE:  ¡Feliz Navidad, Buenos Aires!

PREMISE:  Nadine and Paola are sheisty teenagers who just don’t give a fig.  When they come across a cursed antique (Victorian) set of toy soldiers (Small Creatures), they give them to conservative tio Sarmiento as an early Navidad (Holiday) present, and his ass puts ’em on the tree, it’s gonna be a cursed little christmas.

HORROR ELEMENT:  Sarmiento is forgetful and while he realizes there is a ridiculous bounty of soldiers in the chest, he doesn’t remember how many he’s pulled out – and that it is frankly an impossible amount.  He gives them to everybody – they even find their way onto a big tree at the mall.  When they come to life, it’s a forest (Forest) of wooden demons, in Gremlins-styled mayhem.