content warning: fictional-within-fictional bestiality.
Famous bit of internet humor by internet humorist Dril: “It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the celebs are at it again.” Classic. It’s not infrequent that I have celebrities appear in my dreams, but sometimes it’s so obvious. Last night before I went to bed I saw a photoset of Julianne Moore on tumblr, then in the night I dreamed I randomly met Julianne Moore. She was lounging on a lawn chair acting like a posh weirdo – on a grade to Maude Lebowski, but more low key and charming. I was like, “wow she’s like that in real life, wotta character.”
When I was much younger the celebs were mostly from the media I’d spent the most time with at that age: Star Trek: The Next Generation, The X-Files. I would be the characters or be with the characters pretty often. TNG had such an iconic cast. Fucken love those guys; cannot blame people for watching Picard, as bad as the reviews have been. I just ain’t payin’ for it or learning to pirate it myself.
The celebs don’t always fare well in my dreams. When I’ve been Fox Mulder or Dana Scully, it would sometimes be in conflict against monsters I could not hope to defeat – using a wimpy peashooter against a raging werewolf, that kinda shit. Of course, there’s when I was Ripley from Aliens and the queen alien gave me an abortion.
The worst case tho was from when I had my appendix out and was drifting through wakefulness and dreaming with vividness. Janet Jackson was in a music video where cheap special effects were used to make it look like she’d just given a wolf a blow job. The music came in and she bellowed the chorus, “Dog Sex! Why did you make me do this?”
In the dream, I thought to myself tsk, tsk, tsk. I can’t believe the things they’ll show on MTV these days. But then I awoke to find that MTV was not to blame, nor was Janet Jackson’s agent. It was nobody’s fault but my own. Sorry Janet.
–
Dreams can be weird. I think the only celeb I’ve dreamt about was Robert Plant (lead singer of Led Zeppelin) who in the dream picked me up from the family home in a black Range Rover. I was at the time visiting my dad at said home, and very much wishing I was anywhere else. This was way after Led Zep ceased to be, and in my dream Plant looked about how he looked at the time, not the way he looked when Led Zep were big. And it wasn’t anything sexual, he was just doing me a favour getting me out of an unpleasant situation.
that’s funny. i think i’ve had ones like that, where stars are just hanging out doing normal things like we know each other, but don’t remember specifically.
I can’t seem to access your newest post, “Ruining Lives for Fun and Profit”. The link in the sidebar goes to an error page, something about “redirecting properly”, and it doesn’t show up in the list of posts nor is it apparently reachable with the prev/next links on your posts.
IOW, WordPress has fucked up your post and you’ll probably need to repost it for any of us to actually be able to see and read it properly. I hope you kept a copy as a local file on your machine …
i was doing blog shit on my phone with a more awkward interface and accidentally posted it way before it was finished, then hastily deleted it – but it still shows in the sidebar as a dead link. oops! sorry for the tease.
It seems to be working correctly now.