i’m turning into an edgelord, talking violence too often. politics, maaaan. gotta shut it off, focus on other things entirely. sometimes when i hear other people talk, who are being upset by the same things that bother me, it helps me look at the same issue more calmly. a weird quirk, i wish i could call up on command. works more IRL than online, where i more often get the opposite effect.
;slkjgrdlkagjlskjrgfkjvrak i tells ya.
but i’ll be alright.
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I’ve been vacillating between calm stoicism and detached curiosity (Epicurus’s “ataraxia”) to blind rage and revenge fantasy that follows engagement with some form of doomerism (my own and others). Trying my best to feed only the ataraxia but goddamn it’s hard sometimes when all you wanna do is destroy the machine.
Brains suck.