Since Mano is doing light posting for the moment, the rest of us should be picking up the slack, but it’s looking slow around the network.  To fill the manohole, I’m going to do three manoposts today.  This be the first.  I am far from perfect at impressions, at capturing the essence of another’s voice, so apologies.  Since I am not plugged into the news the way he is, I’ll have to make up news to be reacting to.  Proceeding thus…

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As a rule of thumb, one should look askance on anyone who is too simpatico with one’s own beliefs.  Today I read an article by Hannikah Meier-Shalam on reporgo.com which, at first glance, seemed eminently reasonable – a return to the common sense punditry from her tenure at The Gotham City Gazette.  See if you can tell where her reasoning breaks down.

Pet grooming is a very popular subject of internet videos at the moment, from Youtube to Instagram, and everybody’s getting in on the act.  Some dogs stand with quiet dignity, offering sensitive and nervous side-eye to the camera.  Others whimper and shiver.  Others need to be restrained bodily – as do cats.  This suffering is mild, if melodramatic, and therefore quite cute.  We know the procedure is for the animal’s own good, that it is genuinely not painful, and that there is an end in sight – all comforting truths of which the hapless beast is not fully assured, in their own mind.

My pet turtle is, as any who have a passing familiarity with science can tell you, a reptile.  The thing about reptiles is that they have to shed their scales.  This includes the scales known as “scutes” that make up the outer surface of their shells, which are much larger than the tiny scales on the softer parts of their bodies.  It takes a long time to happen, during which they have a dull look to their shells.  Then they start to come up in great big chunks.

Well, nerts to that.  If I can’t yard that stuff off Donatello and it’s hangin’ there like a blowed-off hurricane shingle, I’m gonna glue that shits down and polish his ass with turtle wax.  They say it’s for cars, don’t use it on animals or people, but these are the same Deep Staters that want to bury the truth about hydrochloroquine, so make of that what you will.

It seems she is now following that old post-Ferengian rhetorical technique of saying two reasonable things as cover to slip in a third outrageous statement – something no one would believe if given to them straight.  It’s a shame, but after her self-styled cancellation at the Gazette, she has completed her transformation into a right wing hack at reporgo.com.

I like to think that my readership has the discernment and mental powers to avoid using harsh cleaning chemicals on their pet turtles.  Please do not prove me wrong in the comments.  Thank you.

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