The Doctor Is In

This was rubbish! This was horrid!
This was brain-insulting stuff!
This was far too complicated
Or, perhaps, not quite enough!
All the writers should be fired,
With about two-thirds the cast
They could never hold a candle
To the folks from seasons past—
Why, I still remember watching
[Insert favorite doctor here]
And [some previous companion]
From the best and greatest year
This new Doctor disappoints me
Most completely, it would seem
(And you mustn’t get me started
On the credits or the theme)

Yes, my utter disappointment
Makes it difficult to speak…
So expect me here, like clockwork,
To complain again next week. [Read more…]

“The funeral is one of the best opportunities that pastors have to preach on the central doctrines of the Christian faith”

There are funeral rites
Seen in different lights
As we vary by time and by culture
Though the details may change
It should never seem strange
That death is a feast for a vulture

The original bird
As you doubtless have heard
Is a beautiful, dignified creature
But today, you will find
A more sinister kind—
One who preys on the living… a preacher [Read more…]

A Modest Proposal For Virginia

As the midnight hour was coming,
As the seconds ticked and tocked,
Same-sex couples in Virginia
Found their new foundations rocked
When the SCOTUS, in their wisdom,
Had their right to marry blocked
Till the justices can weigh in on the fight.

While they’re pondering the problem,
I suggest here’s what they do
To reframe the situation
With a new and different view:
Simply block the right to marry
For the heterosexuals, too,
Then we’ll see if it’s a fundamental right. [Read more…]

We’re Not Excluding You—We’re Just Not Including You

You haven’t quite heard what we’re saying—we’re praying—
We’d let you, but atheists really don’t pray
We call on a spiritual being, but seeing
As atheists don’t, there is nothing to say
We see your complaint as illusion; ”exclusion”
Implies that you once had a chance to be heard
You didn’t. This can’t be excluding—quit brooding! —
An atheist prayer? Why, the thought is absurd!

Are hippos “excluded” from flying? I’m trying
To think of a way that this even makes sense!
An atheist prayer? Oxymoron! Implore on—
Your huffing and puffing is all a pretense!
You’d “pray” to the people who hear you? It’s clear, you
Have no real conception of praying at all!
You’re different from us, no denying—quit trying
To claim the protection of Jefferson’s “wall”! [Read more…]

“Black Twitter Is The Internet At Its Best” (a villanelle)

“The following alert is not a test”,
The TV said–We knew that they were wrong:
(Black twitter is the Internet at its best.)

When ranks of cops, in riot gear were dressed,
They tried to quell the crowd with this strange song:
“The following alert is not a test!

We urge you to comply with our request!”
“Request”? A lie, but not for long:
Black twitter is the Internet at its best.

The propaganda leaves us unimpressed—
A fading view they’re trying to prolong–
“The following alert is not a test”

But… yes, it is; it measures the unrest,
The inability to “play along”…
Black twitter is the Internet at its best

Black twitter sees the marchers, ten abreast,
As canisters of tear gas hit the throng…
The following alert is not a test:
Black twitter is the Internet at its best [Read more…]

“Hold On” (Donkey Kong Variations)

Oh, my. So, as my regular readers both know, I am a Tom Waits fan. Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan are incredible songwriters; I know personal tastes differ, but if you disagree, you are quite simply wrong. And Mule Variations is a great album, with a taste of all the different facets of a musical life; it has some of my favorite songs ever–which I would elaborate on, but I would go on forever, and that’s not my point.

My point is, somebody (Buddy Peace, is his internet name) also loves that album, and a couple of months ago put out a tribute, “Donkey Kong Variations”, in the 8-bit musical stylings so familiar to video game enthusiasts of a certain age. I am roughly of that age, but was not a gamer, so the Waits/Brennan angle is the hook for me–and Kathleen Brennan herself linked to Buddy Peace’s version of “Hold On”, which is how I found it. “Hold On” was the most successful single (do they still use that term?), so the most likely to be known by those of you who are not necessarily fans… anyway… [Read more…]