Those Rude Atheists!

So the Secular Coalition for America wondered whether they were welcome in the Democratic Party. Yeah, I know, it shouldn’t even be a question–we are a secular nation, after all, aren’t we? But an Interfaith Gathering (yup, with Capital Letters and everything) was being held, and with a name like that it implies that those without faith (or is that Without Faith?), if they are being polite, should ask first whether they are invited:

Dear Rev. Daughtry:

I am very concerned about the Interfaith Gathering at the upcoming Democratic National Convention.

This event is described as a “unity” event to stress the “big tent” nature of the Democratic Party; however, I have received complaints by people who identify as atheist and humanist who feel that this event excludes them as full participants in the convention.

(excerpt, from the link above–go read the whole thing)

This polite inquiry could not offend anyone, could it?

Well…

A few atheists have their panties in a twist once again, this time fussing that an atheist leader wasn’t invited to speak at an Aug. 24 interfaith service that’s part of the Democratic National Convention.

The service will feature Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Buddhist speakers. The official reason for the interfaith services is “to honor the diverse faith traditions inside the Democratic Party,” which could easily include atheists. If they aren’t welcome, it’s probably because they’re rude.

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Democrats will nominate a Christian gentleman who respects others. It’s likely they didn’t invite atheists to their faith service because they didn’t want embarrassing guests. Atheists might bring pseudointellectual proselytizers, who are intolerant, self-aggrandizing and rude. Atheists should fund universities and hospitals. They should feed and clothe starving kids. They should act more like Christians and Jews. If they do some of that – if they contribute to a diverse humanity – they might get better party invites.

And the author defends his ignorance against a handful of intelligent individuals commenting on his rant. (Seriously, the comments are worth reading!)

Anyway…

I think my words were misconstrued
I wasn’t meaning to be rude
I only simply asked if you’d be letting others in.
I did not mean to cause you grief
But still, you seem to have a beef
With those of us who lack belief—you tell us that we sin.
It seems to me that you, not I
Are being rude—the reason why
Is that your statements all imply your view’s the one that counts,
And mine’s irrelevant, I’m told—
A view, if I may be so bold,
I’ve heard so much it’s growing old—my aggravation mounts.
The arguments you sometimes see—
Is God one part, or is He three?—
They simply don’t apply to me; I do not hold those views.
To have the government maintain
One view is right, is just insane;
For if one faith is set to gain, all others, then, must lose.
A secular society,
I think religions must agree,
Maintains each church’s right to be possessed of their belief.
To separate belief from state
Should really be beyond debate—
For me to be accused of hate for saying so? Good Grief!

Old Time Religion–or, Worshipping Greta Christina

A couple of days ago, one of my favorite bloggers actually wrote me and alerted me to her post here, a fun bit of wordplay and parody toying with that old classic “Gimme that old time religion”. Go ahead, follow the link and read her post–great fun, that. I’ll wait.

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Back so soon? Anyway, I wanted to collect my responses there and put them here before I forget them, and to alert any regulars here (are there any left? Sorry I was gone for so long–summers are weird.) to try their own hands at the game. And to point out that Greta Christina’s own verses are superbly crafted and worth reading.

But read hers on her blog. I’m just gonna put my own here.

My first set:

To me, there are no gods like the Greek gods. They are just so… so human. So delightfully carnal, a celebration of the whole human experience, warts and all.

At the Temple of Apollo
Some will lead and some will follow
Some will spit and some will swallow
And that’s good enough for me

When we follow Dionysus
Then no matter what the price is
We’ll engage in all our vices
And that’s good enough for me

With Athena in her armor
So that mortal man can’t harm’er
She is such a gorgeous charmer*
And that’s good enough for me

And the thunderbolts of Zeus’s
Are the least of his abuses
Leda talks about his gooses
And that’s good enough for me

Let us all revere Poseidon
Cos he’ll find you where you’re hidin’
And your ass he’ll soon be ridin’
And that’s good enough for me

When we speak of beaux and Eros
Our perspective rather narrows
Though it pierce us to our marrows
It’s good enough for me

Let us follow Terpsichore
As she leads us all to glory
Every dance will tell a story
And that’s good enough for me

We need never wonder why, men,
We will strive to do and die**, men,
At the service of dear Hymen,
And that’s good enough for me

*alternate line—“I would plow her like a farmer”
**well, a little death, anyway.

Then a few, as per Greta Christina’s recommendation, regarding the modern skeptical deity-equivalents:

Let us follow the immortals
Till we pass through Heaven’s portals
And deliver them our chortles–
That’s good enough for me!

If we laugh ourselves unsteady
And keep criticism ready,
Flying monsters of spaghetti
Are good enough for me!

Though invisible, it’s pinking–
It’s a unicorn, I’m thinking–
And the atheists are winking
And that’s good enough for me!

Though I have no God vendetta,
I would sooner worship Greta,
Though in truth, I’ve never met-a
She’s good enough for me!

I am now in such fine fettle
That I think I have the mettle
To bow down to Russell’s kettle
Cos it’s good enough for me…

If I bow before some entity
And call it heaven-sentity
Please check on my dementity
That’s good enough for me

And lastly, just for fun:

Let us toast to Quetzalcoatl
With the contents of this bottle
Not a little, but a lot’ll
Be good enough for me

We will toast the feathered snakey
Till the world is blurred and shakey
Then pass out ’til wakey-wakey,
That’s good enough for me

If your deity is serpentine
Please check what you are slurpin’- find
A label that says “turpentine”?
That’s good enough for me

So have at it–add more, and visit Greta Christina’s site and add them there as well!

Oh, Ye Of Little Faith!

PZ writes of a fascinating fossil find… A pair of footprints, one overlapping the other, left by a human and a theropod respectively. The fossil is… not terribly convincing.

But, of course, there are creationists touting it as the real deal, and as evidence that humans and dinosaurs walked the earth together, just like in that documentary. You know, the one with Fred and Wilma, I forget the name.

Anyway, it seems odd to me that the people who are supposed to have the most faith are the ones going out of their way to manufacture “evidence” so that they will not have to rely on faith. But I should be used to that by now.

I was thinking, though… what if the fossil really is the work of god? Fossils have been seen as a test of faith, placed there by god to see if we will still believe; what if this transparent fake is actually the work of god, placed there as a test of intellect?

The tracks of Man and Theropod
Were planted, by a playful God
To test the use of Human minds
Confronted with such puzzling finds.

The first upon Jehovah’s list
To see it, a Creationist;
He swallowed hook, and line, and sinker,
Showing God he was no thinker.

The second looked, and laughed and laughed
To see the shoddiness of craft;
His open eyes would not be guiled,
And God looked down and simply smiled.

The third to look was just a boy
Who looked at it with open joy
And thought “that looks like so much fun,
I’ll try to make another one!”

When even children plainly see
A fake, it is no mystery;
But as we grow, we often find
Some choose a path that leaves them blind.

And it should come as no surprise
They trust their faith, and not their eyes;
And will not hear if you explain
That–maybe–God prefers the brain.

All This Over Ritual Cannibalism?

Wow. Much Ado About A Wafer. Who’d have thunk that this story had legs? As mild as this could have been, I suppose that if you piss off enough people, a number of them will react badly. As many have commented, the law cannot possibly take the side of the church in this case without setting a nasty precedent. Support one religion, and where does it end?

P. Z. Meyers’ bad behavior toward the body of Our Savior
Is at minimum appalling, and it’s blasphemy at most!
This is more than merely naughty—this is Christ Almighty’s Body—
There’s a special place in Hell for those who desecrate the Host!

Dr. Meyers would be safer if he just ignored the wafer;
‘Cos the Prince Of Peace has followers who will not mess around.
There’s no blogger, nerd, or hacker who can simply steal a cracker—
These are people who have re-defined the phrase “too tightly wound”.

Now it’s more than merely prattle, it’s a First Amendment battle;
Can the Catholics demand the recognition of their views?
And if transubstantiation is supported by the nation
Will the other faith communities each, likewise, get to choose?

When you lean toward theocratic, it is far from automatic
That the legal recognition of your rituals will follow—
If our goal is “not offending”, then the list is never-ending,
And the spectrum of religions is too big a bite to swallow.

If the nation acts as proxy for one form of orthodoxy
Then the other True Believers could be truly in a lurch;
But our brilliant founding fathers saw through this and other bothers
And decided to prohibit the endorsement of one church.

If believers were offended, that’s what Myers had intended—
While it may not be polite, he has the right to be a jerk;
It’s the nation’s Constitution that prevents his prosecution,
Sure, it’s not the Holy Bible, but it kinda seems to work.

Friday Limericks–Greece!

This is not the only country on my trip, but I am certainly glad it is one of them! I have wanted to go to Greece since… I think my first presentation on the Parthenon in 4th grade, or maybe earlier, reading the children’s versions of Greek mythology. Of course, ignorance being what it is, I have had quite a learning experience here. As someone (Between Mark Twain, Ben Franklin, and Will Rogers, there is a 99% chance of one of them having said just about anything) is alleged to have once said, “it’s not what you don’t know that gets you in trouble, it’s what you do know, that ain’t so”. I have such vast quantities of both categories here that it would be tough to say which wins out.

But anyway, it is Friday the 13th and I have had a wonderful day. So the Friday Limerick topic is Greece–broadly defined.

There once was a lady from Hellas
Quite a favorite with all of the fellas
From them all, she chose one,
But was having such fun
With the rest, that she just wouldn’t tellas

There once was a Byzantine Monk
In a bit of a Byzantine funk
So he took his small flock
To the top of a rock
Where he thunk, and he thunk, and he thunk
[imagine a photo of a Meteora monastery here. I will edit it in when I have bandwidth to load it.]

It’s slimy, yet furry and squeaky;
I think you’ll agree that it’s freaky;
But beyond all dispute
Is the fact that it’s cute–
And I found it in Thessaloniki!

(this one is worth clicking on–it’s just so cute!)

Never A Good Sign

It should make you worry when you
Find your cousin on the menu
At a pleasant Greek Taverna at the Galaxidi shore
It was Greece–so I was fated
Once I’d eaten, and was sated,
To be punished by Poseidon like I never was before
We were looking at the ocean
When there came a funny motion
Just a little instability I felt beneath my feet
Then the sidewalk started moving
Like the gods themselves were proving
We were just a little early when we called them obsolete

We had traveled through the epicenter town about 2-3 hours before the earthquake hit. The photo above is indeed from the Taverna in Galaxidi where we had just eaten when the sidewalks started imitating the ocean.

Where In The World Is The Digital Cuttlefish?


I am wand’ring the earth, to its ends
But I feel that I must make amends
While I’ve traveled, I fear
I’ve neglected you here–
So a picture, or two, of some friends!

(I took these just a couple of days ago…)

Thank you all for your wishes and greetings; I have a bit of forced downtime today on a bus ride, so I may have time to compose something… or maybe to sleep, perchance to dream…