It’s a simple little proposition, Proposition Eight:
All we ask is that you join us, as we all discriminate!

This is only the beginning of a looming Culture War,
As we try to set the clock back to the way it was before
If the homos get to marry, it will not end there, of course:
What’s to stop someone from marrying a cat, or dog, or horse?
To put morals back in marriage, we need strong religious views
And we need them now! We missed the chance before, with Blacks and Jews.
It’s a simple little proposition, Proposition Eight:
All we ask is that you join us, as we all discriminate!

Take a moment to consider, looking deep within your heart;
It’s supported by the bible—well, the homophobic part,
And that “love thy neighbor” business can be taken many ways
See, my Lord and Savior’s neighborhood did not have any gays.
And Leviticus—or maybe Laws—I’m not quite sure which verse,
Says that murderers are worse than thieves, but gays are even worse!
It’s a simple little proposition, Proposition Eight:
All we ask is that you join us, as we all discriminate!

For centuries—millenia—the whole of human life—
A marriage was the union of a Husband and a Wife;
Now the California liberals are preying on our fears,
And they’ll force us to equality and civil rights for queers!
Then the gays will think they’re people, just like you and just like me,
So we have to stop this here and now—and Jesus would agree!
It’s a simple little proposition, Proposition Eight:
All we ask is that you join us, as we all discriminate!

The New York Times reports on a new study in the current edition of Nature; it seems a new source of X-rays has been discovered. Scotch tape. Yup. Unrolling sticky tape in a vacuum releases a surprising amount of energy, some of it in the form of X-rays! (Extremely cool video here.) My favorite quote: “The researchers suggest that the high charge density generated by peeling the tape could be great enough to trigger nuclear fusion.”

The characteristic defining a human 

Thank you all.

This post marks this blog’s official birthday; one year ago The Digital Cuttlefish went public. Since that time, 195 posts, more than 200 poems, and you people have changed my world. So again, thank you.

My readers are wonderful people. I know this from comments, I know this from seeing my verses posted around the globe on other sites, even in other languages. I know this because it was my readers, with their donations, who afforded me the opportunity this past summer to begin an incredible journey that has not yet ended. (If that is cryptic to any of you, no worries–the people who helped know who they are.) And of course, there are six of you, spread out over three continents, whom I have actually met; so far, 100% wonderful.

I don’t see a whole lot of reason to stop now (although every few weeks I become convinced that I have run out of topics, run out of rhymes, run out of inspiration–until some creationist, politician, or cephalopod makes the news and re-inspires me); indeed, I am even in the process of compiling and editing some hundred or so of the past year’s verses into an actual dead-trees book, which I hope will be available for your squidmas and cephalopodmas needs.

Anyway, thanks, much more than I have the ability to put into words. Especially my long-time readers and commenters, who provided the rewards that kept me going when I was lucky to have a couple dozen readers a day. And also to those who read but do not comment (614 visits from Uppsala, compared to only 366 from New York City? More visits from Miramichi than from London? You people are so cool!), who force me to imagine how you found this site (ok, mostly through Pharyngula) and what you think of it. If you wish, consider this post an invitation to just say hi in the comments!

Now, the real world calls, and I had better prepare for it. Here’s to another successful orbit!

DC

158 years ago today, Gustav Theodor Fechner awoke from a dream which would change his life, and the course of science itself. In his dream, Fechner had discovered the key to studying sensation and perception, the method to measure the mind itself. Of course we cannot simply turn up some switch and increase your awareness, or your sensitivity, or anything about your experience of the world; prior to Fechner’s dream, the only way to study your thoughts was… to think about them. Introspection, essentially. It could not be systematically controlled-indeed, the very thought of controlling the mind, that non-physical part of Descartes dualistic view of Man, was ludicrous.

But Fechner found a method that, in hindsight, was simplicity itself. He would vary the external stimulus systematically, and an observer would report whether a perceptual change was noticed. Can you tell the difference in brightness between this light and this one? Can you tell a difference in saltiness between this solution and this one? Can you tell a difference in weight between this cylinder and this one? By reducing the subject’s responses to a simple choice, and varying stimulus materials, Fechner could measure sensitivity and bias separately, and could determine both absolute thresholds (the dimmest light, quietest sound, lightest weight, that one can detect 50% of the time) and difference thresholds (how much brighter, louder, heavier, must a stimulus be in order for that difference to be detected) for a number of different sensations and stimuli.

And he found that our perceptions are describable by mathematical equations–initially a simple linear function (Weber’s Law), improved to a logarithmic function (Fechner’s Law), suggesting that just maybe our minds are not working under separate and distinct rules than our bodies. Fechner’s work laid the groundwork for the science of Psychophysics, and pretty much all of experimental Psychology owes a debt to his methodology.

For this Fechner Day, I am re-posting a portion of an older post, from last February. You will see why.

[…]

Parenthetically, I note with sheer joy the fact that the paper cites Fechner (1877). And it is relevant. How cool do you have to be, to have your work cited 131 years after you wrote it? As cool as Fechner, that’s how cool. Fechner more-or-less invented the science of psychophysics, managing to capture sensation and perception scientifically for the first time. And here he is, cited in a 2008 paper. On machines tasting espresso.

On second thought, that might be my problem right there. I am still impressed by Fechner, and I live in a world where machines can meaningfully taste coffee. Food… or espresso… for thought.

I have a machine to smell my coffee,
To see if it’s any good;
I asked it to make me the perfect cup,
But I think it misunderstood—
It analyzed alkaloids, sampled aromas,
Tried seventeen samples of beans,
Then told me I clearly had no taste at all:
I never was good with machines.

My pre-owned car has an onboard computer—
It measures my driving, you see.
I guess I don’t drive like the previous owner;
My car likes him better than me.
It spits out a spreadsheet of technical numbers—
I don’t know what much of it means,
Except that my car thinks it’s better without me:
I never was good with machines.

Of course, at my office, I have a computer—
The one I am using right now;
It laughs at my grammar and sneers at my spelling,
Although I’m not really sure how.
Just one tiny part of a cubicle farm
Where we’re packed like so many sardines—
Do we use computers, or do they use us?
I never was good with machines.

I’m worried that someday my household appliances,
Sitting at home on my shelves,
Finally realize there’s nothing I offer
That they can’t do better themselves.
They make better coffee, they get better mileage,
Their words rarely stink up their screens—
And I’ll be left out in the cold and the dark:
I never was good with machines.

Sorry, Perky–if the last video made you happy, this one will probably make you sad.

I got out of bed this morning, and asked Jesus what to wear
Then I asked if I should brush my teeth, and how to fix my hair
I asked my Lord and Savior if he’d rather ask of me
To have sugar in my coffee, or to skip it and drink tea

When I walk along, I ask the Lord which foot should step out first
Cos I know that Jesus doesn’t want my feet to be reversed
There’s no end to all the messages I hear my Jesus say
So I never have to think at all, so long as I can pray

While I try to love my neighbor, as the Bible says I must
I’m not sure about that black one, as the Lord and I discussed
Sure, he’s married, he’s got children, he’s a member of the church
But I’ve found he’s really Muslim, cos the Good Lord helped me search

Though it’s not in any papers–there’s no data you could chart–
I have all I need for evidence, right here inside my heart
It’s the Holy Word of Jesus, so I know it must be true
Not my fault that Jesus talks to me, but never talks to you

So the most important reason I am voting for McCain
Is he’s not a godless Muslim with the middle name Hussein
Now we’ve had a nice discussion, and I’ve really had some fun
But the interview is over now, cos Jesus says we’re done

Cuttlecap tip to PZ, once more…

Research on social-cognitive heuristics tells us that we are overly influenced by vivid examples, even if they are examples of rare phenomena (thus we are more likely to be afraid of flying than of driving, despite the safety records, because airplane crashes make national news while more common car crashes may not even make the front page of the local paper). Recent videos on YouTube have shown political “supporters” making outrageous statements, and it is all too human for us to see that as the rule rather than the exception. But… it is the exception. The majority of supporters on both sides are good, decent, thoughtful people like you.

Of course there are Christians, of course there are Muslims,
And Atheists, Pagans, and Jews
Supporting McCain or supporting Obama—
Supporting a spectrum of views—
Of course there are numbskulls, and ignorant pinheads
Whose views are incredibly dense,
And of course they reside on both sides, red and blue
Of the nation’s political fence
It gets to the point where we almost expect it—
Perhaps it’s what humans just do—
We forget these are merely the vocal extremists
Whose numbers, in truth, are quite few.
These salient images seen in the media
Show us ourselves at our worst
But just look around, and you’ll see something different,
And not what it looked like at first:
The people who back both McCain and Obama
Are people like you and like me
And most are intelligent, thoughtful and kind,
And like us, they don’t like what they see.
This silent majority, not in the news,
When confronted with ignorant hate
May decide to combat it, or maybe ignore it,
Or challenge them to a debate
And sometimes you’ll find that these ignorant cowards
Back down when you call out their bluff
So… if you’re like me, and you’re sick of the lying,
Decide that enough is enough!
And remember, the ignorant liars can shout
Until all of their faces are blue;
When you get in that booth, and you pull shut the curtain…
The one with the power is you.

Cuttlecap tip to Orac, and to Coturnix

A comment about a website urging readers to pray for John McCain… cos we know that makes a difference.

We pray for peace, we pray for rain
And now we pray for John McCain
We pray with everything we’ve got
And once again… it won’t do squat.

******

On a very very cool fossil find from a Cambrian site; chains of shrimplike arthropods, locked head-to-tail in a conga line. It being a fossil, and not a film, one cannot tell for certain what was happening with the little critters. I offered a few thoughts.

A playful cuttlefish, he locks
The headless shrimp like LEGO blocks
In chains from tiny to colossal,
Just to make a funny fossil.
Creationists, of course, believe
That Adam made, to give to Eve,
A necklace out of arthropods
(The real design, of course, was God’s)
A strange behavior this complex?
It almost has to mean it’s sex:
The overwhelming urge in life–
Unless, of course, you are my wife.

******

In response to Bill Donohue’s calls for YouTube censorship:

Could we maybe slap a sticker on that book they call The Bible
To protect the younger readers from the trauma it might cause?
There has got to be a reason–for protection, or for libel–
If The Children are in danger, why, we must enforce the laws!

******

One I missed earlier, on the Cracker kerfuffle:

With spikes through hands and spikes through feet
The Son of God went home to Dad;
A sacrifice which made complete
The reason God had made the lad;
Thus death was triumph, not defeat,
A reason we should all be glad–

This time, not flesh but merely wheat
(And flavorless, I think I’ll add)
Which P.Z. did not choose to eat
But skewer with a nail he had…
The controversy? Pure conceit–
Or else the world’s gone barking mad.

Inspired by PZ and XKCD…

I really have a time machine–I really truly do
A time machine I’d like to share with no one else but you.
We’ll travel through the future–no one knows just what we’ll see,
If you would just agree to share my time machine with me!

My time machine–Our time machine–will move through time and space;
And lead to–who can tell?– the future is a big, big place!
Our time machine goes forward–sometimes slowly, sometimes fast–
But always to the future, Love, and never to the past.

If you will share my time machine, the world is at our feet,
The past is what it always was; the future will be sweet.
The march of time is constant, and it will not be denied,
But time itself can fuck itself, if you are by my side.

In a cogent and thoughtful essay bizarre set of free associations and finger pointing, Melanie Phillips looks over from across the sea–you know, where people point at the US at amazement for how we kowtow to the religious right–and helpfully suggests that she has found the root of the problem. I have taken the liberty of organizing her remarks just the slightest bit…

God save us from the Atheists–
They’re even worse than Gays;
God save us from depravity and wicked, wicked ways.

They reek of impropriety
And decadence and sin
Their morals do not come from God, but rather from within!

Their Bedrock Moral Values
Are discarded in the dust;
No fear of Hell prevents them from succumbing to their lust!

Why, only our profound belief
In God’s Most Holy Joys
Prevents us from–well, most of us–molesting altar boys!

As Jesus said, “forgive them”
In His final mortal breath–
We’d never bother cracker-thieves, nor threaten them with death.

Our Faith provides humility–
We know that we are flawed.
And sometimes our appeals for tithes are bordering on fraud

And looking through our history
Of meeting other cultures
It seems sometimes we’re not quite doves so much as we are vultures

But through it all, we’re moral
Cos we’re acting in God’s Name;
And when our culture goes to Hell… there’s Atheists to blame.

Hat tip to PZ, of course.

After a bit of thinking about the Friday Limericks topic this week, I came to a realization. One of my versical heroes, the late great Felicia Lamport, used to have a column in the Boston Globe, “The Muse of the Week in Review”, which set the week’s current events to her inimitable style. It seems to me that this should be the purpose of the Friday Limerick post–besides, that way commenters can prepare in advance without having to read my mind (any who have done so successfully, get out!).

So, the new topic depends on what you have seen each week–have at it!

In the sights of an eloquent foe
John McCain (and a plumber named Joe)
Were compelled to talk straight.
(I don’t mean the debate;
But to Dave, on the Letterman Show!)

You may think that some research is dumb
And too often the findings are glum
So when this lab proposes
A way to clear noses
You’re liable to protest “Come, come!”

As the pollsters begin their revue
And the candidates start to pursue
I’m just sick to the death–
Won’t they just hold their breath!?
(‘Till two-thirds of the nation turns blue…)

Please, tell me… there has to be something better than this in the news where you are reading/watching it…