Decide Right Now
You have 5 seconds to decide each question. [Read more…]
The Digital Cuttlefish
Since the music plays so briefly... Can you blame me if I dance?
Decide Right Now
You have 5 seconds to decide each question. [Read more…]
The pen is mightier than the sword,
Or so we’re led to think;
When victims, far too young, may be
Immortalized in ink
Cold comfort for the families
When all is said and done—
“The pen is mightier than the sword”
That’s why they used a gun. [Read more…]
Over at One News Now, there are two stories of a conflict between faith and employment. Juxtaposed as they are, it is still utterly predictable to see the Muslim told to find another job, but the Christians told they are being persecuted. [Read more…]
When you walk down the street
Through the new-fallen snow
Do you look at the footprints
You see as you go?
Do you wonder who walked there,
And how long ago?
And whose footprints you see
In the new-fallen snow? [Read more…]
Are you glad there is no heaven?
Are you glad there is no hell?
Are you glad that God’s a fiction—
Just some stories people tell? [Read more…]
Mom was far from irresponsible!
Her purse was well designed,
With a pocket for a handgun,
So they said. [Read more…]
It was Cephalopodmas, and all through the blogs
Not a writer was stirring—all sleeping like logs.
Each blogosphere-dweller, from Orac to PZ
Was all bundled up and just taking it easy.
Their prone, sleeping forms, that might well have been granite
Slept through the most wonderful tale on the planet!
For all ‘cross the globe, from the oceans and seas,
All the cephalopods, just as nice as you please,
Took a break from their lurking in kelps and in corals
To visit the houses of people with morals. [Read more…]
‘Twas the night before Christmas; the Christians all hunkered
In basements of buildings they’d armored and bunkered.
They huddled in silence; they huddled in fear,
With thoughts that the atheists soon would draw near [Read more…]
From the Cape of Good Hope to the Newfoundland islands,
The sands of Iran to the Panama isthmus;
From Outback Australia to Inverness Highlands
It’s time to take arms in the War Against Christmas!
My weapons are mistletoe, Christmas trees, holly,
A yule-log, and caroling out in the snow;
Sleigh-rides and snowball-fights, eggnog and Jolly
Old Santa Claus, laughing his loud “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
We’ll make them forget all the Truth of the season—
The sacrifice planned by a god up above—
And have them believing some bastardized reason
Like giving, or kindness, or caring or love!
I’ll cruelly and callously help out a stranger
Who’s down on his luck or has suffered some loss,
I won’t even speak of the babe in the manger
Whom God sent to Earth to get nailed to a cross;
When the winds of December conspire to freeze us
I’ll help collect sweaters and coats for the poor,
Neglecting to make any mention of Jesus,
Whose torture is really what Christmas is for.
My hatred of Christmas will focus my labors
On weaving an atheist fabric of lies—
For instance, I’m giving to all of my neighbors
Gift baskets, cookies, and fruitcakes and pies!
I’ll say “Merry Christmas!” I’ll say “Season’s Greetings!”
I’ll say “Happy Holidays—Joyous Noel!”
Intending of course, that with each of these meetings
The Truth About Christmas can just go to hell.
The truth is that Christmas is not about presents
It’s no time for songs, It’s not time to be nice
It’s not time for feasting on turkeys or pheasants—
It’s sin, and redemption by blood sacrifice.
No time to be jolly; no time to be merry
It’s time to be solemn, and grim, and devout!
The heathens might find it depressing or scary
But that is what Christmas is truly about.
Yes, Jesus is really the ultimate reason
And Christmas is really redemption and sin;
The war against Christmas is early this season—
For God’s sake, let’s hope that the atheists win!
A bit of history of Christmas in America, after the jump:
I am as busy as a very busy cuttlefish can be, but I see that people have been visiting the site looking for Christmas verses. So I have two things: first, one that is not complete, but was written because I was giving a final exam, and there were extra pieces of paper and #2 pencils, and I couldn’t help myself. It’s only three verses, prompted by Ed’s reporting that Bill O’Reilly has finally won the War Against Christmas. [Read more…]