Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water,
Though he knew he hadn’t oughter
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden!
Eve arrived and Adam hardened;
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater,
You’re descended from a floater,
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Chorus
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah!
Oh, the horrah! Oh, the horrah!
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Chorus…
Comments are open for additional verses!
Cuttlecap tip to PZ, here, of course.
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water,
Though he knew he hadn’t oughter
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden!
Eve arrived and Adam hardened;
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater,
You’re descended from a floater,
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Chorus
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah!
Oh, the horrah! Oh, the horrah!
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Chorus…
Comments are open for additional verses!
Cuttlecap tip to PZ, here, of course.
So I was on my way to the store this morning, and A Prairie Home Companion was on the radio. Long show, short trip, so I may have missed some context, but a song begins. It was simple, it was cheerful, and the audience was encouraged to sing along at one point, but I had never heard it before. Oddly enough, if I had written the lyrics myself, I’d have rejected them as too simplistic in their one-dimensional and insulting portrayal of believers. But here, without a trace of irony, they were singing what I have since learned is a christian campfire song: “I wanna be a sheep”.
Now, I understand the metaphor of Jesus as shepherd; I had always assumed that it was sort of a “given that we are lost sheep, isn’t it nice to have a shepherd watching over us” metaphor. I had never considered the “hey, isn’t it great to be a sheep, a mindless member of a herd!” interpretation. But it turns out there are quite a few versions (the one at that last link is bizarre) of the song up on YouTube.
Frightening. I assume the multiple watermarks on the photos are there ironically, since good christian sheep would never steal.
I wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
I wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
Don’t ever wanna have a thought of my own
I just wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmm)
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Cos they’re too subtle fish
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Don’t wanna be… oh, I can’t go on.
So I was on my way to the store this morning, and A Prairie Home Companion was on the radio. Long show, short trip, so I may have missed some context, but a song begins. It was simple, it was cheerful, and the audience was encouraged to sing along at one point, but I had never heard it before. Oddly enough, if I had written the lyrics myself, I’d have rejected them as too simplistic in their one-dimensional and insulting portrayal of believers. But here, without a trace of irony, they were singing what I have since learned is a christian campfire song: “I wanna be a sheep”.
Now, I understand the metaphor of Jesus as shepherd; I had always assumed that it was sort of a “given that we are lost sheep, isn’t it nice to have a shepherd watching over us” metaphor. I had never considered the “hey, isn’t it great to be a sheep, a mindless member of a herd!” interpretation. But it turns out there are quite a few versions (the one at that last link is bizarre) of the song up on YouTube.
Frightening. I assume the multiple watermarks on the photos are there ironically, since good christian sheep would never steal.
I wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
I wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
Don’t ever wanna have a thought of my own
I just wanna be a drone (mmmmmmmmmmmm)
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Cos they’re too subtle fish
Don’t wanna be a cuttlefish (cuttlefish-noise)
Don’t wanna be… oh, I can’t go on.
By now you have likely seen Congresswoman Michelle Bachman’s Tea Party reaction to the State of the Union Address. And probably some of the reaction to her brand of revisionist history. If not, the couple of videos here will get you up to speed.
I think I have the whole thing figured out. Bachman has a crush on the founding fathers. She’s got a journal somewhere where she has written “Michelle Adams”, “Michelle Madison”, “Michelle Jefferson” and “Michelle Washington” over and over and over… you can tell she gets excited by the way her quill pen sometimes runs out of ink when she forgets to re-dip it, and the exquisitely curled script becomes illegible. I suspect she ran for Congress when she saw definition 7 while looking for definition 1: