Headline Muse, 9/25

Though the world thought the odds were remote
It’s a milestone that’s worthy of note
Though they can’t drive a car
So it’s kind of bizarre
Saudi women will now get to vote

Headline: Reforms will allow women to vote but not drive

Of course, this story is everywhere. In the comments of the NPR article, one comment began “[t]he right to vote is not a king’s to give.” Beautiful iambic pentameter; I was sorely tempted to bust out a sonnet. But it is also one of my favorite debate topics, on which I have gone many rounds on many occasions. I’ve never liked the concept of “rights”; they make no sense to me. In this case, it is very clear that the king has the power, in Saudi Arabia, to grant women the right to vote. But the commenter would call this “recognizing their right to vote”. It is as if only god or nature could “give” a right to vote, or that (as a libertarian friend once claimed) “rights are a property of people like inertia is a property of matter.”

Except that, quite clearly, they are not. If I can, with a bomb, a gun, or a blunt or pointy object, take from you your life, then your “right to life” is clearly a different sort of stuff than an object’s inertia. A “right of way” is yours if and only if someone else yields it. Rights are a social construct. A useful one, at times at least, but clearly a social construct, dependent on agreement by the parties involved.

And in that sense, yes, the king granted (or rather, is granting or will grant, given that it is not taking place immediately) women the right to vote. Which, while not perfect, is a step in the right direction.

Headline Muse 9/24

Just in case it’s a boring campaign
And the also-rans start to complain
Now another straw poll
Might have taken its toll
With the Florida vote raising Cain

Headline: Herman Cain Wins Early Florida Test Vote

More meaningless straw poll results imbued with great meaning by all those who want to pretend the GOP race is still open. If the straw polls don’t predict well, the next step will be to examine the entrails of a goat.

BOOOO!

Dedicated to Tea Party Rabble-Rousers Everywhere.

When we look at global warming
And the use of carbon fuels
Should we listen to the scientists
Or listen to the fools?
If the scientists are certain
That the evidence is true:
BOOOO!

Someone’s come across the border
Cos they’re looking for a job;
Should we treat him with respect, or
Simply throw him to the mob?
Immigrants are people;
Could there be another view?
BOOOO!

If a businessman has cancer
Do we simply say good-bye?
Though it’s in our power to help him,
Should we really let him die?
If he can’t afford insurance
Should the government come through?
BOOOO!

There are questions we can’t answer
And a man who’s set to die
Can we really be so certain?
Is this something to decry?
We have to have our justice vengeance—
If it’s not this man, then who?
BOOOO!

There’s a question from a soldier—
Will you hear him out today?
“Can you promise us fair treatment
If we’re lesbian or gay?”
As we listened to the question
There was one thing we could do:
BOOOO!

There’s a sort of open secret
We don’t openly admit:
There’s the people with the money
And the people with the shit
So we’ll punish the majority
And benefit the few:
Yahoooo!

Headline News, 9/22

A decision that’s rather surreal—
The state senator made an appeal
To eliminate waste
That’s of questionable taste
The condemned get no choice of last meal

Headline: Texas Prisons End Special Last Meals In Executions

Lawrence Russell Brewer, who was executed Wednesday for the hate crime slaying of James Byrd Jr. more than a decade ago, asked for two chicken fried steaks, a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound of barbecue, three fajitas, a meat lover’s pizza, a pint of ice cream and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts. Prison officials said Brewer didn’t eat any of it.

Gee, I wonder if something put him off his feed?

While extensive, Brewer’s request was far from the largest or most bizarre among the 475 Texas inmates put to death.

On Tuesday, prisoner Cleve Foster’s request included two fried chickens, French fries and a five-gallon (19-liter) bucket of peaches. He received a reprieve from the U.S. Supreme Court but none of his requested meal. He was on his way back to death row, at a prison about 45 miles east of Huntsville, at the time when his feast would have been served.

Last week, inmate Steven Woods’ request included two pounds of bacon, a large four-meat pizza, four fried chicken breasts, two drinks each of Mountain Dew, Pepsi, root beer and sweet tea, two pints of ice cream, five chicken fried steaks, two hamburgers with bacon, fries and a dozen garlic bread sticks with marinara on the side. Two hours later, he was executed.

Years ago, a Texas inmate even requested dirt for his final meal.

For the record, I hate, hate, hate the death penalty. The notion that the state can kill someone in my name (I take it personally; it’s my country and my state) is repulsive to me.

The idea of a last meal, though. I have one. It features multiple members of the pie family, from meat to fruit. But gee, now that a Texas state senator has decided that getting one special meal before they kill you is coddling, I guess I’ll just have to keep away from Texas, just in case I do something illegal there, like be an atheist.

What would your last meal be? Let’s assume you’re not on death row, but somehow know this is your last meal–or the last one you will appreciate. What’s on your menu?

Job Duties VS Voices In Head

Rose Marie Belforti was
A brave and honest clerk
Who said that God himself decreed
She could not do her work

To serve the state, her job required,
But Rose observed a flaw—
She could not serve New York; instead,
She served a higher law

She will not sign certificates
When same-sex couples wed;
The path to hell goes that way, and
She simply won’t be led.

She could not “hold her nose and sign”
She could not “go along”
She could not in good conscience
When her God said it was wrong.

Mind you, other people said
That God was fine with gays
But Rose Marie Belforti’s God
Sees things in other ways.

Her God is quite the homophobe
So Rose Marie is, too;
Her bigotry is there , cos
It’s what Christ himself would do.

Well, Christ as she perceives him,
Not the Christ from in that book
So really, not a claim that’s gonna
Let her off the hook.

She’s asking dispensation; could
Some clerk sign those instead?
Her job is making troubles for
The voices in her head

Story at Camels With Hammers.

Headline Muse, 9/14

When doctors, of patients, inquired
About guns, it’s as if they’d conspired!
So a gag law was passed
Starting now (that was fast)—
Seems the gun rights supporters mis-fired

Headline: Judge blocks Florida law gagging doctors’ gun talk

But wait–I thought gun lobbyists were in favor of responsible gun ownership.

I’ll admit to a bias here; my best friend in Junior High accidentally shot and killed himself. His brother was in the room when it happened. If a doctor’s routine question might lead to gun owners keeping their kids a bit safer, I would hope the lobbyists can live with that.

Cuttlecap tip to Pal MD.

Headline Muse, 9/13

When he said “the earth orbits the sun”
Huntsman’s spin-men cried “what have you done?!?”
And alas, his reliance
On non-Bible “science”
Has him polling at negative one!

Headline: Perry Leads but Romney Gaining in GOP Favorability

Ok, again, it’s not technically a headline, but work with me.

The money shot (to be fair, it’s “strongly favorable – strongly unfavorable”):

Just Haggling Over The Price…

When Bachmann accused him of selling his vote
Perry quickly composed his rebuff;
It wasn’t the principle, viewers may note–
But five grand wasn’t nearly enough

There are hundreds of donors who’ve given donations
Of one hundred thousand or more
If you want to be one of Rick Perry’s temptations
It’s six figures to get in the door!

There are two different worlds–there’s the people with money
And the people without it, like me
Which is why I just laugh, even though it’s not funny
When they tell me that freedom ain’t free.

Brief comment, after the jump:
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