First, you plant a red tomato
Then you just sit back and wait, oh,
Just a month or two, while evolution does its nasty deed.
When it ripens, there’s no tellin’,
Cos it might be watermelon,
If it weren’t for Jesus Christ, defending each and every seed.
You could go for evolution’s
Oversimplified solutions
Or take solace, knowing Christ was in your garden all along
From the first one, back in Eden
(Where there was no need for weedin’)
To the modern agribusinesses that keep our nation strong
Every farmer with a tractor
Knows that Jesus is the factor
More than pesticides or herbicides, of this we can be sure:
Should the urge to garden seize us
We should put our faith in Jesus:
If there’s one thing that He taught us all, it’s how to spread manure.

Cuttlecap tip to PZ, of course.