Kill, sleep with, or marry

In honor of the totally awesome slumber parties Hemant, Jamie, and I have probably been having at TAM8, let’s all get in touch with our inner 13 year old girls and play an old stupid game: Kill, sleep with, or marry.

I’m sure there are alternative rules out there, but this is the version I learned when I was but I young lass grossed out by the idea that I had to pick someone to sleep with. You get a list of three people – usually celebrities, sometimes friends (if the goal was to figure out who had a crush on who). You must decide which of those people you rather kill, rather sleep with, and rather marry.

Those are the only rules. So yes, they’re open to interpretation. You magically don’t have to worry about pregnancy or STDs when you sleep with someone. Your marriage can be sexless, but generally implies living together. And killing…well, it can be as humane as you want (or not).

I’ll get you guys started with a couple of trios that fit in with my blog’s theme, but feel free to suggest more in the comments:

Three of the Horsemen: Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris

A Painful Decision: Ken Ham, Kent Hovind, Ray Comfort

The Golden Trio: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger

I guess that wasn’t fair to my readers who are predominantly attracted to women. Here, one more:

The Crazy, It Burns: Ann Coulter, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin (I’m so mean)

Piano bar win

Last night I went to the piano bar at the Neon Cactus, our local popular drinking/dancing venue for college students. If you’re from Purdue, you know this is probably the most popular Thursday night tradition. It was my last night since I’m moving in a week, so a ton of my friends were there.

Bruce (the piano man) quickly pointed out that the Jesus camp people were here – namely two tables full of counselors from Camp Tecumseh. The first hour was filled with many lighthearted Christian/Jesus jokes, including Bruce feigning guilt whenever he swore or said something sexual and apologizing to the “Jesus table.”

Being a group of atheists, we couldn’t resist. We pooled our money and bought “Don’t Stop Believing” with the note “From the atheist table to the Jesus table.” The best part? They laughed and sang along with us.

Kudos to religious people with a sense of humor!

Scientists discover bike riding is incredibly hard

To all the people who’ve made fun of me for never learning how to ride a bike*: Suck it.

Hmmm, why do I have a feeling this will just bring me more mockery?

*Yes, really. Yes, I tried. I have no sense of balance and was never interested enough to put forth the extra effort. My family gave up trying to teach me when I outgrew my bike. My dad would taunt me that I would be the first person to get their driver’s license before learning to ride a bike, in hopes that it would guilt me into learning. I thought this was amusing, so that’s what I did.

I am such a REBEL, YEAAAAHHH!

I get crazy email sometimes, but this person seemed to have my best interests at heart. How about I share it with you guys, and see what you all think?

My name is Eric [redacted] and I have read much on what you have had to say on various subjects.

Religion
prochoice/prolife
Gay rights

You have a rebelious nature. You are about the same age as my children, and I see a lot of immaturity in you.
You enjoy attacking people to much.
You demand your right to be heard and then are rude to those who disagree with you.

All of the various subjects that you believe so strongly in are all tied together under one real subject. Your desire to buck the system.

Most people do believe in God…. you do not and you consider anyone who does an uneducated backwards fool.

You believe in Gay rights….. Yet HIV/AIDS has shown that nature itself has cursed this life style.

You would fight for the right of a serial killer to be saved from the electric chair and later that day fight for a woman to have the right to kill an innocent unborn child.

I would ask a feminist this: If women are intelligent why is abortion even needed? Today we have so many different forms of birth control abortion should no longer even be needed.

Could it simply be that women are not using birth control and then saying they do not want children? If you want men to take the responsibility can a woman not say ” not until you put that condom on”>??????

Maybe what your belief system is really all about is being able to do whatever you want anytime you want with anyone you want and their being no consequences to any of your actions….

We use to call people that thought like that children….. maybe it’s time to grow up

My new email address is: [redacted]

I wish you good luck

You know, I feel it’s only fair to respond to people with the level of respect that their thoughtful arguments have earned. Which is why, Eric, I feel compelled to say this:

Lolololololololol.

Hey, if there’s anything maturity has taught me, it’s to not waste my time responding to the insane judgemental ramblings of random internet strangers. Each sentence he wrote could get it’s own novel-length rebuttal, but what does it matter if it’s flying in one ear and out the other? The only reason I’m posting this is that I think it’s unfair to keep all this merriment to myself. Or so you could facepalm at the stupidity and develop your own counterarguments. Whatever floats your boat.

Though I do have to point out one thing: If I really wanted to rebel against my parents, I would have become a fundamentalist Christian Republican Sarah-Palin loving housewife. I think just typing that made my dad feel a disturbance in the Force.

Here, have some links!

In a couple hours I’ll be on a plane to Portland! I’ve set up some posts to go up during my absence, and I may blog at the conference if I get burnt out on evolution (unlikely, I know). Until then, here are some interesting stories I’ve seen recently to keep you busy.

Female scientists: They’re super effective!

Exciting breaking news, everybody! This is a monumental step for female scientists everywhere. I just found out that we have the first female professor in a scientific field long dominated by men. I’d like to introduce Professor Araragi……the new Pokemon Professor!

Yes, I’m excited for Pokemon Black & White to be released. Don’t judge me for hanging on to a piece of my childhood – the games are addictive and fun! I did geek out about the Professor being a woman, though. Hey, when popular culture starts recognizing that scientists can be female – especially an attractive female instead of a frumpy stereotype – that’s a step in the right direction.

Spit, Swallow, or Soufflé?

Friends send me strange sex-related articles all the time. I probably should be concerned what this says about my interests and personality, but I’m more intrigued by the articles themselves. I always think to myself, “Wow, nothing can be stranger than this.” I’m usually wrong.

Latest example: The cutting edge in cookbooks, Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.

“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

Uhhh…what a delicious looking…glaze?

…I think I suddenly became a vegetarian.

(Via Living the Scientific Life)