Upcoming speaking schedule

Over the next couple months I’m going to be making my way from coast to coast. Here’s my current schedule, in case you want to catch one of my talks:

2/19/2011
Thousand Oaks, CA
Secular Student Alliance Southern California Leadership Summit

Then my Spring Break Minnesota Tour!

3/22/2011
St. Cloud, MN
Secular Student Alliance at St. Cloud State University

3/23/2011
Morris, MN
University of Minnesota Morris Freethinkers

3/24/2011
Minneapolis, MN
Campus Atheists, Skeptics, and Humanists at the University of Minnesota

Woooooo, partaaaay! …Wait, doesn’t everyone go to Minnesota for spring break? No? Hey, any SSA affiliates in warm states, you know you totally want me to come visit next winter.

I’ll release the specific times and locations for the Minnesota talks once we get closer.

4/09/2011
Boston, MA
American Humanist Association Annual Conference

I may have a trip to North and South Carolina thrown in there, but those aren’t completely set in stone yet.

…Yes, I know, I’m crazy. Also, my PhD is going to take 24 years to finish.

It's a sign

Apparently God hates feminism. Or at least, God hates feminists talking about how God hates feminism. My talk last night was effectively canceled due to massive amounts of unseasonable snow in Vancouver. It wasn’t too horrible to drive in if you went slowly – more slush than the black ice Seattle got. But SFU is perched on top of a mountain, so they canceled afternoon classes. Which meant:

1. No buses were running to campus. Apparently some of my readers attempted to get to my talk, but couldn’t because of this issue. Sorry guys!
2. College students happily ran home to play in the snow/sleep/drink heavily early. Or to make sure they could get home at all with the snow. I don’t blame them; I probably would have done the same.
3. The office in charge of unlocking projectors refuses to unlock the one in the room I was speaking in since classes were officially canceled, so no PowerPoint for me and the hardcore students who still showed up to my talk.

Thankfully I wasn’t required to illustrate my talk through interpretive dance. Instead we went to a restaurant on campus to eat and drink. I ended up giving an informal version on my talk on someone’s laptop, but most of the night was spent educating me on everything Canadian. I think I have a vague grasp of Canadian politics now. Though of course, they could have been making everything up and I wouldn’t have been the wiser. Those wiley Canadians.

The rest of my talks should still be on, since what seemed to be a foot of snow magically melted overnight. Apparently God is totally cool with me poking fun at the Creation Museum, but not the Bible.

Vancouver or bust!

I’m leaving for my Canadian speaking tour this morning! Here’s my schedule, as a reminder:

Simon Fraser University Skeptics
Thurs. Nov. 25 3:30-5:30 pm in AQ 5037
Atheism and Feminism
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Free & open to the public
Likely impromptu pub night to follow

University of British Columbia Freethinkers
Fri. Nov. 26 7-9 pm in Buchanan A203
My Trip to the Creation Museum
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Free for members, $2 for general public
Post talk drinks and fun somewhere

CFI Vancouver
Cafe Inquiry with Jennifer McCreight
Sat. Nov. 27 11 am-1 pm at SFU Harbour Centre
Tentative topic: Closing the gender gap in skepticism
20 min talk followed by discussion
Free & open to public (donations welcome)

British Columbia Humanists
Sun. Nov. 28 9:30-11:30 am at Oakridge Seniors Centre
Boobquake & Its Aftershocks
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Open to public & donations welcome ($2 suggested)
The pub nights are up in the air (apparently one of the planned places closed, whoops), but I’ll announce where we’re going via Twitter as soon as I know.

Well, that’s assuming I get there at all. Apparently it’s snowing all between Seattle and Vancouver. Gulp. Leaving early and driving slowly…

Canada, here I come!

I’ll be speaking at four different skeptical groups in Vancouver next week*. Here’s my crazy schedule (links go to facebook events):

Simon Fraser University Skeptics
Thurs. Nov. 25 3:30-5:30 pm in AQ 5037
Atheism and Feminism
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Free & open to the public
Likely impromptu pub night to follow

University of British Columbia Freethinkers
Fri. Nov. 26 7-9 pm in Buchanan A203
My Trip to the Creation Museum
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Free for members, $2 for general public
Post talk drinks and fun at the Frog and Firkin

CFI Vancouver
Cafe Inquiry with Jennifer McCreight
Sat. Nov. 27 11 am-1 pm at SFU Harbour Centre
Tentative topic: Closing the gender gap in skepticism
20 min talk followed by discussion
Free & open to public (donations welcome)

British Columbia Humanists
Sun. Nov. 28 9:30-11:30 am at Oakridge Seniors Centre
Boobquake & Its Aftershocks
Hour talk followed by Q&A
Open to public & donations welcome ($2 suggested)
I’ve never been to Canada before, and I can think of no better way to pop my Canada-cherry than hanging out with a bunch of skeptics and heathens. Especially since my other option for Thanksgiving break was sitting in my apartment dreaming about all the delicious food I’m missing out on since I wasn’t going home this year. A mini-vacation to Vancouver is a wonderful alternative, even though I’ll probably spend my time between talks working on homework. At least I’ll be working on homework in Canada.

…Though to show how much of an ignorant American I am sometimes, it didn’t originally dawn on me that Canadians don’t have the same Thanksgiving holiday as us. I promise to keep the stereotypical questions about bacon, hockey, and Celine Dion to a minimum.

*And by next week, I mean in two weeks. I have no concept of time, apparently.

I don't get fashion

The clothing information from my photoshoot just went up. Holy crap.

Strenesse cotton wrap top, $220; Pamela Robbins, 914-472-4033. Joe’s Jeans cotton blend jeans, $158; joesjeans.com. Old Navy synthetic ballet flats, $20; Old Navy. Her own necklace.

Just to remind you, this is what that outfit looked like:
$158 for a pair of jeans? $220 for that shirt?! I’m glad I didn’t know that when I was putting it on, or I probably would have destroyed it due to my nerves of trying not to destroy it. I just… don’t understand fashion. I’m not paying more than $30 for a shirt that simple, and when I’m splurging on jeans I’ll shop at The Gap when they’re having a sale.

I could probably concoct that identical outfit for less than 50 bucks. Are these pieces incredibly durable? Are those super famous brands that I’m just oblivious about? Is this like when I watch America’s Next Top Model and don’t understand why they’re screaming happily about something?

The only thing in my price range were the Old Navy shoes, and those were casually destroyed during the shoot. They didn’t have flats in my size, so the just cut the backs off of these. I was wondering why they were so unfazed by destroying their property – it’s because they were worthless compared to everything else!

Oh, and the necklace isn’t mine – it was one of the staff’s. I was wearing my gray Scientific Method Surly Ramics that day. I tried to negotiate getting it in, but failed. Sorry, Amy!

EDIT:
And my outfit was cheap compared to the rest.
Most expensive dress: $1,250
Most expensive shoes: $1,095

I think everything in my closet isn’t work a thousand dollars. Gah.

Help is no longer needed in escaping Indiana

Because I made it to Seattle, woooooo!

Somehow Mark and I survived the drive without going too insane. The first day we drove for 15 hours and stopped in Wall, South Dakota. I swear we just happened to end up there when it got dark – we did not stop because of the tourist trap known as Wall Drug. Though since a bunch of my twitter followers insisted that it was hilariously bad, we checked it out. Sorry guys, but it was not worth the ten minutes :P

The second day we drove for 14 hours and stopped at Mt. Rushmore, which was a much nicer stop. Pretty cool, though we didn’t stay for long. We spent the night is Missoula, Montana and were greatly impressed that you can apparently get alcoholic beverages for takeout at restaurants.

The third day we only had to drive 6 hours, but it was by far the worst. South Dakota and Montana were actually pretty beautiful. Idaho was beautiful as well, since we were basically driving through cloud filled mountains, which we don’t exactly have in Indiana. Hell, I get excited when I see a hill. Or a patch of land without corn.

But man, Eastern Washington was so insanely boring. It actually reminded me a lot of the desert grasslands in Arizona where I do field research, but just a lot uglier. And then the last couple hours are a horrible combination of city traffic and mountains, so I felt like I was going to die. But I made it!

My apartment is super nice. I lucked out because I bought it from craiglist based on a couple of photos and talking to the landlord on the phone. It’s a lot more spacious than I expected, and I have more storage space than I have stuff to fill it with. It feels a bit barren at the moment, but I’m sure that’ll change soon enough. Oh, and the entrance is adorable, since it’s a basement apartment:
I feel like I’m living in the Secret Garden. …Or that I’m some sort of garden troll, whatever.

I am so exhausted. The combination of 35 hours of driving and sleeping on an air mattress until my bed arrives is not very relaxing. Not to mention I’m unpacking and buying various apartment necessities that I either couldn’t bring or never had. I still need to go grocery shopping, since this is what my refrigerator currently looks like:
I can think of no more appropriate way to kick off grad school than an fridge that’s empty except for a six pack of beer. Hurray college.

So…who’s up for a Seattle meetup?

Ok, ok. I know I just got in the car a couple of hours ago. I’m probably not even out of Wisconsin yet. But from all my rambling about Seattle the last couple of months, it seems I have a lot of readers there. And, well, I’m going to be a stranger in a new city, so might as well meet some people, right?

So, Pub Night! Woooo!

If you’re interested, please say so in the comments. And let me know which dates out of the 17th, 18th, or 19th work for you. Seattlites (is that correct? WTF do Seattle people call themselves?) can suggest an awesome pub venue. Something in Wallingford would be awesome, since I’m not sure I’ll have mastered navigating the city yet. You don’t want to be responsible for me getting lost forever, do you?

Axe murdering readers, please don’t answer that last question. Or come to the pub night.

PS: Did you know Greta Christina is going to be in Seattle Sept 12? The venue is small, but I’m going to try to make it!

And I’m off to Seattle!

Dad: How are you going to survive three days without the internet?
Me: Har har.
What I was really thinking: Well I already set up my blog to autopost and we’ll probably be able to get free wifi at the hotels, or at the very least at McDonald’s.

I have a problem.

Anyway, let’s just hope we make it to Seattle in one piece. Hopefully we won’t see conditions like this. But if anything interesting happens while I’m not driving, I’ll tweet it. And when I’m driving, I’m sure Mark will be tweeting our spiraling descent into insanity.

What’s your best/funniest/most horrifying road trip story?

When real life strikes…

…bloggers crumble. Aaaauugghh *die*

If you follow me on twitter or have been paying attention at all, you should know that I’m going to be crazy busy for the next week… month… hell, forever. I’m going down to Purdue for one last visit from Thursday to Saturday. Going to see a bunch of my friends now that classes are back in session since I have no idea when I’ll see them again. Why?

Because I’m finally moving to Seattle, wooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Yes, in a week the “trapped in Indiana” part of my bio will no longer be true. But as you can imagine, I’m going a little crazy. Moving to college was easy – Purdue is only an hour and a half away from my home, and I barely had a car full of stuff to take down there. Now I’ve had four years to accumulate shit, and I get to move 2,000 miles instead of 100. The extra fun part?

I’m driving.

It was about Plan T, but Plans A through S fell through. It’ll be…interesting. Thankfully my friend Mark is coming with me, so I won’t go totally insane (you may know him as ElGatoCello on twitter). Just to show you how awesome Mark is, we’re leaving on September 9th, which is his freaking birthday. This is a good test of who your true friends are – ask them to cram into a crowded car and drive through Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Montana, and Idaho for three days while listening to you sing along poorly to your “Gay Dance Mix!!” playlist. …Ok, I may still go insane, but I’m bringing him down with me. What this really means is there will always be one person able to livetweet our mutual insanity.

But yeah, it’s a 34 hour drive through the middle of nowhere. The directions are basically “Get on I-90 and drive 2,000 miles.” I’m sure it’ll be pretty, but I’ll definitely be stocking up on podcasts and caffeine before I go. The longest road trip I made before this was a 24 drive to Utah a couple years ago, but I only had to drive 7 hours on the way back because I was traveling with two guys who were trying to out-macho each other with their driving endurance. We drove straight through. That will not be happening on this trip.

So after I come back from Purdue, I get to play Car Tetris and see how much stuff I can cram in. I think it should be okay, since I basically just have my clothes, some electronics (computer / Wii / PS3), some dishes and cooking utensils, and then as many books as I can shove into the car. I gave all my furniture away since it wasn’t worth the hassle. Heck, I originally got it all through dumpster diving anyway.

Even once I get there, my insanity isn’t over. One, I need to find a bed – the plan is to order one so it arrives soon after I get there. Two, I’ll need to at least minimally furnish the rest of my apartment. I know myself – if I leave stuff in boxes, it’ll be that way five years later. And three, I actually have to get ready for graduate school. This extra long summer has made me forget I’m kind of starting my PhD. No biggy, right?

*gulp*

So the blog will be on autopost more often than not between the 2nd and 12th. Like always, if you have blogging inspiration or random questions to ask me, feel free to email me or go over to formspring.me*.

Oh, and moving tips are welcome. How’d you survive any cross country relocations? Best way to furnish an apartment on the cheap without getting raped by creepy craigslist people? Seattle specific tricks? Best car games to play while driving through Montana?

New York Recap Part3: Best burlesque show ever

If I haven’t given you enough evidence of how awesome my sister-in-law Erin is, she took me to Coney Island for a burlesque show. Not just any burlesque show… but Colonel Cornstar’s Cuntry Fair. Complete with a heavy petting zoo.Yes, a farm themed burlesque show. You know it had to be awesome.

But the cherry on top was the celebrity sighting we had there. We were standing in line waiting to get in when someone walked by who looked oddly familiar. I thought maybe I was seeing things, since 1) he was way more stubbly looking than usual and 2) we had just talked about seeing celebrities not an hour before, so maybe I just had celebrities on the brain. I peered at him as he was buying a drink two feet away, and eventually poked Erin, and she confirmed.

It was Ted Allen of Chopped, Food Detectives, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I’m a Food Network fan and he’s my favorite persona (well, tied with Alton Brown), not to mention my favorite one from the Fab Five. He was there with his boyfriend and a couple of friends. I definitely flailed with glee. By pure luck I ended up sitting about two seats away from him.

The show itself was hilarious and awesome. I loved the pig who was covered in balloons, popped them with her tail, and then jumped in a bucket of “mud.” Ted Allen appeared to really get a kick out of the I Want Candy bit:

As the night went on, the skits became more bizarre and less farm themed. They included:

  • A conservative homophobic uber Christian coming out looking like Hester Prynne, stripping down as she has a crisis of faith, and then pulling fifteen feet of rainbow rope out of her vagina. If you think I’m making this up, there’s a NSFW video here.
  • A “white trash” girl screwed herself with one of those long skinny spiral lollipops. Yes, literally. I have no idea why or what that had to do with the rest of the show, but it definitely got a reaction out of the audience.
  • The inspiration for all of my future nightmares. She came out wearing a terrifying clown mask and 6 inch heels, and threw squirt guns into the audience while holding a sign that said “Shoot the Freak.”

Here she is:And here’s Ted Allen shooting the freak:Unfortunately he was always busy with his friends or getting a picture taken with the naked Pig Girl, so I didn’t get a chance to butt in and awkwardly ask for a photo. I didn’t realize until later that he was also a Purdue alumni – I could have had a good intro! Ah well. The experience alone was worth it. I mean, how many people get to say they watched a burlesque show with Ted Allen?

Delightfully bizarre.

(Videos via Year in Dance, the blog of the dancer with the magical rainbow rope hiding vagina)