Ted Cox sent me a friendly email this morning alerting me that I made the front page of reddit. It was a photo of me with my Reason Rally sign, and it was being upvoted in r/atheism. I was actually kind of surprised by the comments. While the photo had garnered a lot of upvotes, most of the comments were the tired old trope that I’m an evil New Atheist who’s just as bad as evangelicals because I’m trying to destroy people’s beliefs just because I disagree with them, and that I’ll never succeed anyway. I responded with this to clear it up.
But the comments that didn’t surprise me? The ones about my appearance, which always show up whenever r/atheism links to me:
From RealAmerica1776:
“She has the face of a horse like most liberals such as Chelsea Clinton”
From HeatBeat:
“Best part of picture: Moderately attractive female in the back right side.”
Not only is my hideous body blocking the view of someone more easy on the eyes, but a glimpse of a possibly attractive woman is way more important than discussing the point of the photo, the sign. A sign about atheism. In r/atheism. Not r/gonewild.
And my favorite, from the lovely named “cuntcrust“:
“she looks like a fat roger waters. she’s annoying and an attention whore “lol look at me i’m an atheists” luckily for her you virgins will fall in love immediately, pathetic.”
Separated at birth!
Ah, he’s on to me. Yes, you see the atheism thing is all an crafty ploy I created when I realized I was just too egregiously ugly to ever get laid. I call the men I sleep with my “Virgin Sacrifices.” It plays well into the whole feminism thing, too. I hope my boyfriend isn’t too shocked by the realization that he was actually a virgin with a Roger Waters fetish.
EDIT: lol they keep on coming:
You also destroy erections…
You see, he thinks he’s clever because he used the same word that was in my sign, except to insinuate that I’m ugly. Haaaaaa.
If she was better looking I would take this more serious
At least he’s honest about his misogyny.
Obama should tell you this isn’t the 70’s and to not part your hair in the middle. Am I the only one that thinks this chick’s bush is probably huge?
I got nothing, lol
…I guess you kind of look like Roger Waters? I mean, where does that even come from? He’s not particularly unattractive is the thing. He’s just… kind of normal looking. You actually have kind of a more characterized face, imo.
Although misogynist comments were totally what I was expecting when I saw r/atheism XD I… just wasn’t expecting them to be quite so… stupid.
Also that photo is very well composed :)
On top of obsessing about women’s looks rather than their ideas in venues like that, something I’ve noted is that guys are hardly consistent in their *evaluations* of how women look. Assertions are made like ‘liberal chicks are ugly’ and, given what I see, it’s just as likely that if the ‘liberal chick’ had her picture on a conservative dating site the same guy would be saying she was ‘hot.’
There seem to be only two memes among some of these. (1) a woman is too ugly to get laid, so her ideas are worthless (2) a woman is too attractive to have a brain, so her ideas are worthless.
Conclusion? Being a woman makes you unable to have an idea worth discussing. I used to think when I got older and not so attractive, it would be a good thing, because people could actually listen to me. Not so; now they ignore me all together, since I’m over 50, and therefore not worth hitting on.
Meanwhile, all I hear is how women have it easier than men, because we have “special rights”. When you’re not even considered fully human by so many, it seems to me you don’t even really get to have basic human rights.
Keep up the good fight, Jen. Loved your sign at Reason Rally.
FFS. Yet again there are those who are obsessed with how someone looks rather than what they are saying. I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone looks like, to paraphrase Clinton,
“It’s the argument, stupid”
Oh my god I love that dress. I’d totally wear it but I have big ole man shoulders.
Why didn’t I see the resemblance before!? It’s uncanny! I’ve never seen twins born 40 years apart…they should have some scientific studies done on you two!
Sorry the trolls are out in full force. But hey, I’ll do a karaoke version of “The Wall” with you, if you like. :)
That last one comparing you to Roger Waters is perplexing. Somebody hates Roger Waters so much that he (I’m willing to bet cc is a he) sees Roger Waters’ face on everyone else he hates? Obsessed much with Roger Waters there, cc?
Roger Waters?
Huh?
Seriously, Miss McCreight, if your boyfriend has half a brain, he’s busily apologizing to you on behalf of all men, everywhere. Please let me add my apologies to his. Really… *we’re not all like that!* Honest. Some of us can have a Y chromosome and still have some civilized attitudes and manners. To say nothing of just plain not being assholes.
Again… I’m sorry.
I already know he’s not like that, otherwise I wouldn’t be dating him ;) No need to apologize for the assholes.
Do not let that stop you. Just as every man has a right to a comfy flannel shirt, every woman has a right to a Little Black Dress. And you *all* look fabulous in it. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
All right then… how about if I just promise not to be one myself?
Well most of my reason has to do with the lack of boobs over anything else XD
Though I am planning on picking out a nice lace-top cami to wear under plunging necklines that will hide the fact that I’m wearing silicon breastforms.
I do have giant man shoulders though. *haaaate giant man shoulders!!*
I adore Roger Waters. You should be flattered.
Hey… broad shoulders just mean there’s more room for your partner’s hands when he gives you nice long back rubs.
(Your partner does give you nice long back rubs, right? This point is NOT negotiable.)
You know, if that was the fate “suffered” by virgin sacrifices in the various religions that practiced them, they might still be around…
Careful, Jen – you don’t want to inspire a religion based around worshiping YOU, do you?
I have no partner T^T
(Nah just kidding. Not going to date until I’m more open about my transness and when I can get over my “OH MY GOD I CAN’T GO OUT IN A DRESS” insanity XD)
Yeah – the general stupidity of many men out there who only deem a woman’s appearance worthy of commenting on, in a thread about atheism, is kinda depressing.
To be honest Roger Waters is pretty normal looking and clearly way more awesome than a dude calling himself “cuntcrust”. I’d take it as a very misguided compliment, lol.
In all seriousness though, what a bunch of assholes. Thanks for speaking up about it.
Well, let’s see. Based on various bits of information that have come across my desk this week you could probably please the critics by wearing lots of pink with just a hint of see-through underwear showing, sucking on the tip of your index finger, and carrying an ad for vaginal bleaching.
But then I’d have to stop showing your picture to my daughters and telling them how much You Rock. :)
Hey… I’ve heard far more silly ideas.
The First Church of Jen… whole congregations of science nerds, feminists and Harry potter fans. The world could do far worse.
Well, it’s possible that the male commenters are:
a) about 14 years old. OR …
b) sad sack clowns who live with their parents, work at a local burger purveyor and have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. OR …
c) exhibit problematic body odour, sport a combover, own a pit bull to establish their masculinity (mostly to themselves) and haven’t had even a look from a woman in 5 years.
They fondly hope that the latest Hollywood babe will somehow find them and fall hopelessly in love … just like in the movies.
Well, she’s certainly more worthy of worship than most deities I’ve heard of.
For one thing, there’s the whole “not a mass murderer” thing.
Unfortunately, being an atheist doesn’t mean you can’t also be an asshole. One of the points the current atheist movement is trying to make is that we are everywhere. Atheism cuts across economic, racial, and cultural lines. I suppose it’s inevitable we’ll have our share of jerks. Every large group does.
Hey… my son is 15, and he is far too mature to say things like that. And he was a year ago, too.
The picture you have embedded in this post is also April’s picture in the Skepticon calendar. I have it hanging on the wall back and to the right of my monitor, and I have no problem having it in the background of my day. My eyes aren’t sore or anything. :p
It’s not just you, of course. Sexism and objectifying women are pretty common on reddit. That’s what happens when you let everyone on the internet.
To say nothing of the fact that she actually exists. That right there gives her a leg up on other deities.
I think it’s more probable that they spend an inordinate amount of time “interacting” with women who are specifically paid to look a certain way, rather than with anybody in meatspace, and so they have a bizarre notion of what women are, and of what’s attractive.
The so-called “real Americans” are still obsessed about Chelsea Clinton?! That just adds another layer of pathetic onto the whole putrid mix.
Okay, okay…we know you’re smart…we know you’re working hard to make the world a better place, but you’re also “FREAKIN’ HOT!”….end of story.
Hey wait. Aren’t girlfriends supposed to steal comfy flannel shirts?
I do wish those orcs would crawl back into the sewers they came from. Besides, I bet none of them can get a date which is why they’re so bitter. ;)
Jen, Jen, Jen. You know that you brought the criticism on yourself.
You should have done your hair, put on some make up and worn a little black dress to the Reason Rally. Wimmenz must be attractive 24/7 or they deserve scorn. The attractive ones will be dismissed as well but they will also be sexually harassed (which we all know is a compliment!).*
Thank you for being public, vocal and female. It may be small consolation to you, but you are making it easier for the next woman and the next after her. It will get better, maybe not perfect, but better and it will be because of women like you.
*sarcasm (just in case it wasn’t clear because sometimes…)
Only in laundry detergent commercials and bad Meg Ryan films. In real life, they’re far more likely to wipe up nasty spills with them and then get upset when you complain.
You look just fine to me, but that isn’t why I read your blog.
A quote from Loni Anderson in WKRP in Cincinnati has stuck with me over the years; “I’m a beautiful blonde so people think I’m stupid.” It was such a pointed way of saying looks and ideas are unrelated.
FWIW, I’m a dirty old man, but you’re cute! :-P
I started following you because of Boobquake and stayed because of your amazing insights and fearless defense of reason. I’ve told you before that you shame me with your convictions twice as solid as mine at half my age, and your responses to these silly redditors shows you’ve got class, too. Don’t stop, no matter what anyone says.
Yah… but they’re comfy.
Hey, look, another post about why I don’t go to reddit anymore.
Or talk to people.
Or go out in public at all anymore, really.
#misanthropy
I wonder what men would do if they had to listen to women critiquing their looks ad nauseam before we would take anything they had to say seriously? Maybe we should try it…
oh LOL when one is in the spotlight, extreme criticism always follows. I just want to say that parting your hair down the middle is extremely fashionable. The 70s is a huge thing right now. As are bushes….hello merkins. Clearly that person didn’t get the memo. Open a Vogue and tell me otherwise.
That’s my only useful comment.
Your comment is now dominating the thread. Proof the misogynist trolls are few in number, if mostly immortal.
Roger Waters is a genius, not bad company to be keeping.
At least scapegoating young people for misogyny is better than scapegoating people with ASDs.
A fair amount of us would CONTINUE to tell people that kind of behavior is disgusting, bigoted, and unacceptable.
Perhaps this is why Anonymous protesters wear the masks – because in the end, it’s about the fact that your message is powerful, and shouldn’t matter what you look like.
I’m bad at comfort so I’ll just say your sign was epic. Probably my favorite of the bunch.
Roger Waters was my childhood hero, so I would consider that a failed attempt at an insult.
Don’t let the haters get you down. :)
Think of them as swimmers shoulders (ex-swimmer here). Totally feminine. I don’t buy the idea that women are meant to lack muscle or otherwise buy into looking/being vulnerable, thanks very much. (Yes, that’s a dig at high heels)
Great now I have to listen to RW. He has done some excellent work since leaving PF (I’m thinking more Amused to Death then Radio Kaos). Maybe the OP still isn’t over him leaving Pink Floyd?
That’s Reddit for you.
Please don’t let these lying cretins get you down. You’ve got a lot of supporters who admire what you do.
“I got nothing, lol”
If that’s a reply to the comment on ur “bush,” that’s maybe more information than we needed, but it’s cool. Lots of people like to do that. It’s perfectly reasonable.
And don’t believe what they say about it being a gateway to vajazzling. That’s just alarmist.
BTW, if that came off as sexist or demeaning rather than a sophomoric josh, lemme know and I apologize. I don’t wanna be associated with these reddit shitheels.
Every single one of those comments attacking your looks were downvoted beyond most peoples’ thresholds (i.e. to the point where they wouldn’t see it unless they clicked on it). Here we have an example of a post that is overwhelmingly positive, with some people who don’t get your sign mixed in, and a few errant internet trolls.
This isn’t the same as that thread a few months back, where there were a lot of inappropriate comments directed at a girl for taking a picture of herself with a Carl Sagan book, and those comments received a lot of upvotes.
I guess what I want to know is what do you want from /r/atheism? I think we did our duty here and called out the idiots, but /r/atheism is a public site, featured on the front page of reddit, and there is absolutely nothing anyone in the subreddit can do to control who comments and who doesn’t. This reminds me of when people complain about the Atheist Experience not getting interesting enough calls. The /r/atheism community has no more control over who posts/upvotes in our subreddit than an Atheist call-in show has control over who calls them. You think someone with a username like “RealAmerica1776” is representative of the regulars there?
I’m not mindlessly defending the site. I know there are problems and thanks to people like Jen who are pointing it out, I think it’s getting better. Of course we shouldn’t stop trying to be more aware and improve our relations, but if you’re going to criticize a community, criticize them for what they can control. The standard internet trolls posted, they were downvoted and called out. Posts like this happen everywhere on every website, not just /r/atheism. So I ask again, what exactly do you want us to do about it other than what we’ve already done?
Speak for yourself. >.>
I believe in that which i can see. Not some sky man who cares if I lie to the theater operator about the kid’s age; totally ridiculous. Daniel Dennett’s Aunt has more credibility than any “god” I have ever heard discussed. She lived a real life here on earth with us other humans.
So…
You’re joining the First Church of Jen, then, Lynda?
WARNING: Totally stupid misogynistic homophobic Bible-humping anti-atheist jerkwad in the link below.
“Lesbians Too Ugly To Get A Man”.
So welcome to the machine.
Have to back up Brian here, and also ask where the shoutout is to all the atheists who did their job standing up to the idiots, downvoting them and letting them know that those kinds of attitudes aren’t welcome. Idiots are everywhere, you, me, we all know that, but the important difference is whether or not we tolerate them. /r/atheism, in the thread you linked, doesn’t. They downvoted all the stupid comments, and upvoted the ones about what mattered: the sign.
You have every right to be angry with these idiots, but is it too much to ask that you also do your part in not trying to make it seem like /r/atheism consists ONLY of these people? Because you and I both know it doesn’t. There’s plenty of decent people there, and those people far outnumber the ignorant trolls.
By all means, call out the idiots and make them suffer, but also call out those that support you. I think it’s only fair.
Babe. I love you, I’d do you. I love your body AND your face AND your ideas and think you’re AMAZING.
Some guys really do need some education…
I think what our blog hostess wanted was to vent a little bit about having her looks brought up by people trying to demean her.
I kinda like heels. Though they make me even taller, it’s capable of weeding out the shallow “I have to be taller than my girlfriend” types.
As a guy with ASD, I would not have commented on anybody’s looks on a discussion about ideas. Nor I would attempt to insult anybody’s looks in any situtaion.
What he said. As usual.
Those yabs who insult you are more than a little pathetic. I have seen what “real” Americans write on Fox Nation as well. They are extremely deluded and will never know it. I had a bit of an exchange with a “history” teacher Tea Partier who thinks that David Barton is a genius. Even when I told him where to find the evidence that disproves Barton, he of course would never accept it.
Your RealAmerican1776 sounds like a carbon copy. And the world is passing him by.
As ever Jen. You seriously rock.
N.
How many non-sexist comments were there? I mean, we need something to compare it with.
Otherwise, we might as well put it down to confirmation bias. You may have selectively picked out those comments that were misogynist and forget those that were not.
This is not to say that all forms misogyny should not be steadfastly resisted on all levels. They should.
That can’t possibly end well.
This is as stupid as the negative remarks on JMcC’s appearances. They do not matter.
They are irrelevant.
Leave this remark to her lovers in her private life or when she asks you for you opinion on her outlooks. Here she doesn’t.
Like I wrote when Greta Christina had an article about the same subject: I don’t read BlagHag for her appearances. I read her because she writes interesting stuff (at least now and then) and I comment because I have something to add or because I disagree or because I dislike her poll.
Those nasty remarks on her appearances serve only one goal: to silence her. And you cooperate.
On one hand, comments that are the intellectual equivalent of “you are a poopy head” are really more of an indicator that your message is not easily dismissible. On the other hand, as a lazy part time Reddit reader, I now feel more obligated to wade through the comments and do my part to muck out the morons. Sigh.
Brian @ #35:
I think the issue is not what the community is doing, but rather to point out that this kind of behavior is still there. For whatever’s worth, keep up the good work, I guess?
Nathaniel @ #38
You downvoted misogynistic comments. Congratulations! You’ve acted like a decent human being. Cookie?
Emil Karlsson @ #41
Pretty sure that’s sort of the point. The whole idea of “ZOMG NEED REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE” is silly, given that the whole point of the thread is not that the community as a whole is toxic, but that there is a subset of the population that choose to perpetuate misogynistic tropes. Whether they believe them or they are trolling is irrelevant.
“Separated at birth!”
LOL.
plus: Roger Waters? Man, that’s obscure.
Since the only thing I hear about Reddit is how it’s wall-to-wall assholes, why are people bothering?
You & Roger Waters? Hmmmmmmm … Nah, I just don’t see the resemblance.
Those idiots destroy their own credibility.
When I originally wrote this post, all the comments were upvoted. They weren’t downvoted until I linked to them.
I love that pic. so. hard.
As for the comments on reddit. Eh, boring little boys with nothing to offer the world spend a lot of time there angry at women. In other news, water is wet.
Fuck the what now? I’m afraid to google that.
Visit a Junior High school, find the shy bookish boy. Follow him around. Listen to the horrid things everyone says about his looks or his clothes or his smarts.
I also have giant man shoulders, do not let them keep you from strappy little black dresses. I happen to think my giant man shoulders look pretty damn good with strappy things, because it accentuates how muscular they are.
Right now the bane of my existence is the fact that my biceps will not fit in the sleeves of shirts that fit the rest of me. The downside of weight-lifting: fat squishes into tight clothes better than muscle does.
Why would a guy complain about someone using his flannel shirt to clean something up? That’s what we do with them. Occasionally we take them off first.
Mike.
“You also destroy erections…”
A fact of which I’m sure your boyfriend is well aware. What? CannedHamlet didn’t mean it *that* way, sucks to be him I guess.
In high school I was the shy bookish boy. And my mother cut my hair.
Not one of them seems to think that your soullessness is a turnoff. Maybe that’s a victory for atheism?
Yes, I know I’m reaching. It’s either grasp at straws or start raging on my end after seeing this.
I suppose I just want to look femme. I’ve been a guy all my life, I’m already at a disadvantage when it comes to working the LBD!
They’re just trolls, and are heavily downvoted. You get dozens of them scumming up the bottom of any thread that makes it to the front page. I don’t see what the problem is.
Visit a junior high, find a girl of any sort. Follow her around, and witness all of the same things…for the rest of her life.
Mrs. J is actually somewhat curious about teh vajazzle. I must admit to a lingering interest myself. I’m actually intrigued if it would do anything for the feel.
On a similar note, I see a market for Pen-jazzling. Seems like it could have all the benefits of a Prince Albert, without the whole piercing pain (yes, some men are squeamish when it comes to punching extra holes in our dangly parts).
From first sight of the picture, before I read the name, I thought someone had photoshopped a picture of David Duchovny to make him look old. That Roger Waters isn’t particularly unattractive, I suppose. I have a hard time judging men’s looks.
At any rate, meh. If they can’t see a woman as anything but a potential piece of fuckmeat (and I use the word “potential” very loosely in their cases), then they deserve to end up alone and unwanted. *raises whiskey* Here’s to the misogynist assholes of reddit: may they forever idolize that one girl from high school who wouldn’t give them the time of day because they couldn’t stop looking at her tits for five seconds!
You obviously don’t understand that your role in life is to be a semen receptacle. Occasionally, you should make a baby. And don’t worry your little feminine brain about things you can’t understand.
P.S. It’s best that you’re attractive. That shows superior genes and baby-making ability.
I put in a HTML-like tage to turn off the sarcasm. It was dropped. :-(
Yeah, Jen, how dare you complain about sexist jerks on Reddit without enthusing about all the good guys on there, who should totes get cookies for not having names like “cuntcrust” or insulting you. Remember, the important thing isn’t sexism, it’s not hurting Brian and Nathaniel’s ickle fee-fees!
Jesus, can’t she complain about this sort of thing without you whining about how she doesn’t appreciate all the good guys over there? Who should totally get cookies for not having misogynist names or making misogynist comments?
How dare Jen complain about sexist comments without praising all the nice menz who didn’t make them, because non-misogynist behavior is such an impossibly high standard to live up to. How very dare she.
I often wonder, in these cases, whether it makes any sense to offer a (true) complement as some sort of balance, but I’m afraid that to do so is ‘missing the point’, however good the intentions. (Greta Christina and Christina (aka @Ziztur) have had similar things happen to them.)
BTW, does anyone else feel uncomfortable with how people–even parents–seem to need to start off statements mourning their “beautiful girl”, as if that is the primary characteristic of the mourned child, and that a non-beautiful girl would or should be mourned less? (Now, though, I am also something of a hypocrite, since I just eat up all of the compliments about my absolutely adorable baby boy. Hmmm.)
Jen’s comment above:
I don’t expect praise for simply being a decent person. I _do_ expect at least _some mention_ of the fact that we actively work to oppose those who are sexist jerk and/or idiots.
I guess the main thing is that all of reddit shouldn’t be painted with one, wide brush, as if we all _agreed_ with these morons. That’s just unfair. So screw me, fine, but don’t screw an entire community for the words of a few, BEFORE THE REST OF IT CAN EVEN ACT. That’s all.
Nah, dude, you don’t deserve shit for doing the very basic levels of human decency in not being overtly misogynist yourself. For the same reason you don’t get thunderous applause for shitting in the toilet and not on the floor.
“You have every right to be angry with those idiots…” Thank heavens some dude is here to give her permission to be angry! We were worried she might be hysterical for a moment there!
Dude, you hang out in a place mostly known for hate groups, child porn and rape threats, either own it, clean it up or GTFO. You don’t get to whine when you’re assumed to agree with the other members.
Sorry, no. not interested in giving cookies to the guys who managed to not be overt misogynists. She has every right to be angry about the vile shit lobbed at her.
Former swimmer and ex-model here. ;) I think being a model qualifies one for “femininity” status, but they’d have trouble zipping me into dresses once it hit my shoulder blades.
Also, I’m 6’2″ and I still go out in three inch heels on a regular basis. Don’t let that slow you down. ;)
Yeah, FSM forbid anybody besmirch the ~~honor~~ of /r/atheism.
As the kids say, cry moar.
Translation: I’m a dude.
When I decide to go out I have a kickass pair of 3-inch heels that are super-sexy, and a pair of 4-inch heels that are just as sexy but I must figure out how to make an extra hole for the buckle cause it needs a touch more tightness.
Hey Nathaniel, I didn’t beat the shit out of you. Where’s my reward? Oh, even better, I told my friend that he was wrong to want to beat you up as well. Still waiting on that reward.
Pretty sure that was a compliment. And when did fionamoore say xe only reads the blog because of Jen’s looks?
Overreacting in an attempt to appear to be a hero to females? Maybe, I don’t know.
non sequitor
Paul Rodgers was in Bad Company, Roger Waters was in Pink Floyd
/non sequitor
No, it’s because if the Church of Lawology knew their faces, it would try to destroy them using its usual tactics of things like SLAPP suits, denial of all forms of service…
I’ll tell you why Jen makes posts like this.
A while back, on an astronomy blog, the blogger posted a video of a female scientist explaining an astronomy topic. Right off the bat, the very first comment on the post was about how cute the scientist was, followed by a bunch of other comments on her desirability. So I jumped in and posted a comment pointing out that it’s insulting, not complimentary, to post those kinds of comments when a woman is speaking in a professional capacity.
Now, before Ms. Daisy Cutter offers me a cookie, let me say that I was just the conduit here, the message came from Jen/Greta/Ophelia/whoever, not me.
Y’see before I started reading FtB blogs, when faced with a situation like that I probably would have been thinking, “They’re right, she’s cute/ugly”. Now I find myself thinking, “Hey! This woman is being judged by her appearance. That must suck. I should say something!”.
What’s more, a “feminist” message ended being posted on an astronomy blog where maybe, just maybe, it raised the consciousness of some people who were there to read about astronomy, not feminism, and probably would never visit a feminist blog.
See how that works?
That is why I think Jen (and others like her) do this. It’s not to moan about how she’s treated, it’s not because she expects to convert any hardcore misogynists, and it’s certainly not to chide her devoted followers for not having eliminated sexism already.
It’s because by doing it, by continuing to draw attention to the issue, she’s sending out these little waves of consciousness-raising, transmitted through people who might never even have thought about it before, and these waves can end up being transmitted virally (to mix a metaphor) to the unlikeliest places.
She may be preaching to the converted, but there may just be a chance that the converted are being inspired to preach to the unconverted.
It made the frontpage on Reddit? That’s hardly a full step above being stickied on 4chan /b/. The sort of comments it would attract are not worth even paying attention to…
I’ll second that. Before I started reading science bloggers, I just didn’t realize how a compliment can be an exasperating annoyance. Now I see it everywhere.
Yes, I notice attractive women; I’m not made of stone. But there’s a time and place for everything. Our culture has taught men that it’s OK to look right past the huge accomplishment of scientific learning/expression and focus on whether she’s cute. Only a tiny bit of empathy is required to understand how fast that would get old, on the receiving end. Time to unlearn that lesson.
The Roger Waters thing is so random, I really kind of want it to become a meme…
You should google about the kinds of clothes that can help balance out the “inverted triangle” shape, if you haven’t!
For example don’t do those large scoop necks or crew necks. I’ve also heard that spaghetti straps help de-emphasize large shoulders, especially if the dress isn’t drawing the eye to the bust and has a bit of a flare at the hips to provide a little more balance. I think you’d want to emphasize your waist with belts and such. We should “make” Greta do a post about this!
I’m not sure about halters, but I think they just look good on women with broad shoulders. Probably it emphasizes them, but I don’t know. I like it.
I have small shoulders and I’ve always wanted broader ones. I think they are attractive on women. I always feel slouchy and have to work at not having bad posture lol. While puffy sleave shirts actually look pretty good on me, never been a big fan :/ Ahh, the grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it?
(Totally more interested in clothes than jackasses on reddit lol. PS, my not-so-extensive knowledge of fashion comes mostly from watching Fashion Police and What Not To Wear, so beware my advice may not be the best.)
This reminds me of something I read on Cracked recently.
I love this quote, but it was part of a larger point about the stupidity of men who feel like they are “owed” a beautiful woman. And about how women who don’t meet that standard (or women who do but won’t have anything to do with these men) actually anger them because they see it like some sort of breach of contract.
Don’t know how true that is, but I think about every time I see these idiots. (Which is mostly on reddit.) All that vitriole heaped on women who don’t meet their standards*? It’s essentially just misplaced bitching about their own failures and wildly unrealistic expectations.
Not saying that excuses it, it doesn’t. But it does help me remember how utterly pathetic and ridiculous these people are. I then feel more inclined to laughter than righteous anger, and this is good for my blood pressure.
*Standards which, by the way, they almost certainly couldn’t attain themselves.
You have permission to wear “adult jewelry” once you start using adult names for the process.
Interesting link, but…
…except, of course, for the legions who refuse to acknowledge anything less as “sexism” (and then make excuses for it when they’re presented with it).
Now I read the rest of it.
I guess scapegoating the exclusively male characteristic of a sex drive for misogyny is a slight improvement over scapegoating people with autism spectrum disorders. It’s a little worse than scapegoating teenagers, though.
Why the fuck can’t other men get over making excuses for this shit?
Why would it matter that it’s a compliment?
Dunno, Roger Waters ain’t too shabby.
Remarks like that (as I’m sure you know) have little to do with actual physical appearance: they are designed to punish any woman who has the nerve to appear publicly without the markers of male appeasement: make-up, done up hair, tight or revealing clothing.
These sorry losers are completely unaware of why the sight arouses such hostility in them, but it’s simple: A woman who appears unadorned in media, where made up female faces are the norm, where we are all supposed to strive for “hotness,” is a threat to male privilege. Failing to strive for hotness in public is an excoriating offense.
I can say all that, and I can see all that, but photos of me without make up or jewelry are rare. You are braver than I am.
I know that. Hence the use of the word “scapegoating.”
Particularly around the time of elevatorgate, it was very popular in some circles to ascribe obnoxious, misogynistic behavior either euphemistically to “social awkwardness” or the “socially inept,” or overtly to guys with Asperger’s, in the most sneering, vicious, bigoted terms imaginable, and I’m still pretty fucking angry about it.
Liberal = worthless.
Woman’s worth = attractiveness.
Liberal woman = 0 worth = 0 attractiveness.
It makes perfect sense if you’re a misogynist piece of rat shit. >.>
DEAR DUMBASSES: I AM ELUCIDATING THE THOUGHT PROCESSES OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE ASSHOLES. THE ABOVE ARE NOT MY ACTUAL OPINIONS.
Since apparently this shit needs to be said explicitly….
Also, women already know what it’s like, and yet a large amount of the pressure to be thin, pretty, and well-dressed women face comes from other women. That suggests that what you propose probably won’t help much.
Don’t feed the trolls!
I’m guessing the reddit asshat meant to say John Waters, but got confused, which I’m also guessing happens a lot. I’m not endorsing the John Waters comparison (apart from the evil grin, of course, which works for me in both cases), just thinking it’s more likely that that is what Mr C**tcrust (if that really is his name…what’s that you say? An alias? How devilishly clever!) was getting at.
I’ll be honest. I’m not even an American citizen, but I’m going to get very upset if it turns out Obama is wasting his time giving people advice about their hair.
Even if it’s a compliment it’s unhelpful and irrelevant.
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2571#comic
Jen,
I am very sorry to hear about this abuse.
The creatures that behave like this are pathetic.
BTW Great photo!
Phil
I recall hearing something similarly stupid about feminists, 40 years ago. My dad was wrong then and they’re wrong (and old-fashioned) today.
“CannedHamlet:
‘You also destroy erections…’
You see, he thinks he’s clever because he used the same word that was in my sign, except to insinuate that I’m ugly. Haaaaaa.”
That’s unintentionally hilarious because CannedHamlet comment is also strongly implying that for him erections are rare and precious.
Sensemaker
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