Do you think it’s important to forgive others?

I really hate it when people say you need to forgive others that have wronged you in order to move on. Do you believe that’s true?

Obviously, forgiveness is an important part of Christianity and Jesus — is that where these ideas stem from? I don’t even think I understand the whole notion of forgiveness.

I’m thinking about this right now because I was in an abusive situation with someone at my workplace for 11 months. They were finally kicked out of the program last summer and I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety and anger ever since. My supervisor referred me to our EAP and I am now in treatment for PTSD. 

Could I ever forgive that person? Should I? Would it help anything?

Things have gotten a lot better for me since starting therapy last November, but occasionally those negative thoughts still invade my brain. Tonight seems to be one of those nights.

Christians put a lot of emphasis on this topic, but I don’t think I’ve ever really heard a perspective from a fellow atheist. 

Is forgiveness important?

There’s a lot I don’t understand about the bible. Other than the few fairytales I was taught as a child, most of it is a confusing mystery to me.

Yesterday, a commenter suggested Luke 9:26 so I googled it. This is from biblegateway.com:

Luke 9:26 King James Version (KJV)

26 For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels.

Can anyone explain that to me? I just read the passage to my husband and asked him if they were damning me to hell. My three-year-old daughter overheard my question and repeated it word-for-word. Whoops. I hope that doesn’t stick.

Also, what do the numbers mean? Why does everybody always quote Luke?

Do you share atheist memes/posts on Facebook?

I share them a lot and I wonder if people are just as annoyed with me as I am of people that share religious memes.

I am proud to be an atheist and for the first time in my life, I’m actually forthcoming and vocal about it. Does that make me an asshole?

I don’t really feel like I’m going to “convert” anyone to atheism so I don’t really know the motive behind my posts other than just revealing a bit about myself.

I definitely don’t want to debate anyone. 

What’s you take?

Is anyone else fascinated by “wholesome” shows like “19 Kids and Counting”? Maybe “Sister Wives”? Maybe “wholesome” isn’t the word — shows that document the life of Christians and fundamentalists.

I really don’t know why but I actually sit and watch these shows (much to my husband’s amusement) and find them fascinating. I think it’s just because they show a life that is very different from my own.

Maybe it’s like driving past a car crash. You definitely don’t want to be a part of it, but you still look and wonder what happened.

It’s definitely a guilty pleasure. However, I don’t see it as mindless. It feels like I’m actually being exposed to a different culture. Albeit, through the filter of television. 

Does anyone else do this? Will anyone else admit to doing this?

Is prayer a form of meditation? I meditate with mala beads — something of religious origin — to calm down and focus. It has done wonders for my anxiety and serves no spiritual purpose in my life. Do some people pray with the same intent?

Can you pray without asking for anything?

I’ve always seen prayer as a selfish and confusing act. The “god is good” versus “god is mysterious” outcomes are deceptive. God always gets the credit whether he deserves it or not and if he causes something shitty we turn a blind eye. 

Prayer has always seemed so mysterious to me. It seems like a waste of time and mental energy, so I wonder why people continue to do it. 

It always feels awkward when I attend an event where a prayer is said. Do they think they’re sending their energy through the air? Are they truly absorbing what is said? Do they really think god hears them? Are they paying attention or just going through the motions? I really do have a lot of questions but I’ll look like an asshole if I ask them.

Have you seen the “spot the atheist” meme on Facebook? It shows a post describing a tragic situation with a long string of comments offering prayers. Then one lone comment says “where can I send money to help?” Seems pretty accurate. What’s the saying? Two hands working can do more than two hands clasped in prayer.

If you have any insight on this topic, please share. I’ve never understood prayer.

I like how some commenters have brought up the importance of evidence on past posts. I totally agree with you.

One big difference between theists and atheists is that atheists are flexible and will change their minds if you can back up your claim with evidence. Theists live with blind faith — evidence doesn’t influence their beliefs. If you show me concrete evidence that god exists, I will believe you. Until that day comes, I’m relying on common sense.

I am absolutely baffled when I think about some of the people in my life. How can smart people — the ones who seemingly have their shit together in every other area of their life — sincerely believe in fairytales and obvious lies? The power religion holds is terrifying. It’s like the stories just don’t fit with the rest of your life when your living and working in the present day, yet people still believe them. 

What caused me to break the cycle of generations of indoctrination? My parents were both raised in Christian families that went to church on a regular basis. And while I remember being read a couple of children’s bible stories when I was little, it was never pushed on me. When I was really little I can remember going to church a couple of times on Christmas and Easter, but that tapered off quickly as I got older. I would like to think that in most families religious beliefs become a little more relaxed generation after generation, but when I look at some of my friends, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Like I said above, I feel many atheists are flexible and open-minded, so I really have a hard time understanding how theists can be so rigid in their beliefs.

I also really appreciate the comments I have gotten regarding my daughter and my concerns about when she comes in contact with religion. Stressing the importance of evidence sounds like a good plan. I don’t want to be an asshole and just say someone else is wrong. I want my daughter to be skeptical and come to her own conclusions. 

Who else is baffled by the theists around them? How do smart people throw common sense out the window?

Does anyone have any good reading recommendations?

I was really excited to get a book a recently ordered in the mail this morning — The Humanist’s Devotional. It seems really cool and I am looking forward to reading more later when my husband gets off work and I can take a little break from our three-year-old.

The book is filled with thought-provoking and motivational quotes meant for daily reflection — something I have been on the lookout for to use when I meditate with mala beads.

My favorite so far: “Nature is resilient. And you are a part of it.”

Have you read any good atheist or humanist books lately? There’s no better time than now to pick up a new book. I’m trying to make the most of my time in quarantine.

One recent commenter brought up the fact the there are many more atheists than we know, and I couldn’t agree more.

It seems like the more visible and outspoken atheists are very well-educated — experts in science or maybe religion. I am none of that, and I have to wonder, how many other average moms in middle America feel like I do?

I often write because I feel alone and want to be connected to other atheists, but I also hope that my writing helps others not feel alone.

Sure, many atheists are into science and hard facts, but I think there’s a softer, more human side to atheism as well. I think it’s just as important to talk about our lives as atheists as it is to explain why we’re atheists in the first place. 

So to other Midwest moms out there — I might not see you, but I hope you know you’re not alone.

My new obsession during the COVID-19 crisis is wish.com. Do you shop on Wish? If not, don’t ever start. It’s pretty addictive and I’m pretty sure I’m nickel and diming myself to death. My husband is not amused.

Anyway, my latest find was a ring with an atheist “A” symbol on it. I have seen the symbol before but I don’t really know its origin. 

Is there a symbol that represents atheism? There are logos for different organizations, but is there some sort of universal symbol? If not, should there be?

I think one objection would be that having a symbol would make atheism seem organized — like religion.

Either way, I can’t wait for that cheap ring to arrive in the mail. I’m going to wear it with pride.