Conservative Christian Roommates

I don’t know why, but today I was thinking about some roommates my husband and I had early in our marriage. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work out well.

I really don’t know why my husband and I thought this was a good idea, but several years ago we rented a house with another married couple. My husband and the other man were coworkers. They were only in their early twenties — about ten years younger than us.

All of us were hurting financially and living in the suburbs. The plan was to rent a house in Toledo where the cost of living was considerably lower and split all the bills. The idea looked good on paper.

Problems started not long after moving in together. Besides being arrogant Christians, they were disgusting. I can handle a cluttered house, but they were leaving trash and dirty dishes everywhere. What was even more disturbing was their poor personal hygiene. I wasn’t expecting any of that.

Back to the Christian part. They were that kind of people that talk about the “sanctity of marriage” and how it’s a holy institution. They weren’t shy in sharing that they were virgins when they got married.

My husband and I lived together before getting married in Las Vegas. We’re not Christian (obviously) and our marriage was just a fun celebration of our love. It is a great memory that we share, but it wasn’t a necessity for our relationship.

Our roommates were just so staunch and arrogant in their beliefs that we were surprised to find out that they got married so that they could get more financial aid money. They were both in college at the time. They had planned a big wedding but got married at the courthouse just in time to be considered independent students on their FAFSA for the school year.

What happened to that holy institution and getting married in your family’s church? Apparently that all goes down the drain when you wave money in front of them. This wouldn’t have bothered me if they hadn’t spent so much time talking about how special and holy marriage is.

The arrogance and hypocrisy were relentless. There were lots of comments made that bothered us, but the marriage thing was definitely the most annoying.

Kinda weird — when they prayed before meals it really bothered me. They spoke so highly and were so proud of their beliefs, but when they prayed before meals, they held hands and quickly and quietly recited a short prayer in a monotone voice. I honestly couldn’t make out everything they were saying, but it seemed like the same thing every time. It was obviously just a meaningless routine for them. I guess I was expecting more from them since their Christian beliefs were so important to them.

Needless to say, they moved out and we all moved on. I learned later that they got a divorce soon after. No surprise there.

I sometimes think about them and wonder what they’re doing now. Are they different? They’ve been through a lot and they were so young back then. I’m just curious if their beliefs have changed.

Have you ever met people that are so ridiculous that you can’t believe it’s real? That’s how I felt.

I still wish them well. I remember what I was like in my early twenties and I wouldn’t have wanted to live with me. Chances are they’ve grown up.

Poetry Book Update — The End is in Sight!

I absolutely love working on my poetry book, but I feel I am going to reach a point soon where I just don’t know what else to do with it. I’m making some final revisions and tweaking the order of the poems, and I think I’m nearing the end. I’m getting really excited about it. I emailed my publisher this past week and asked to move up the deadline for my final manuscript from December 1st to August 1st. He seemed happy that I was making progress. I hope I made the right move.

One last push to move this book forward…

Writing About My Childhood Part 2

Last week I posted that I was having trouble writing about both the good and bad of my childhood. I think I came up with a solution. While dealing with small-town mentalities and judgmental people was always difficult, I can’t deny how beautiful it is where I grew up. That’s what I decided to express.

 

Beautiful Country

 

I miss the nights
when lightning bugs speckled the endless horizon
and my eyes bathed in the indigo sky.

My favorite color has always been
newly sprouted winter wheat —
an affirmation of new beginnings.

I loved waking up after a snowstorm
blinding white
and alone in the silence of the barren landscape.

From the delicate irises of spring
to the golden blazes of September
every bug in Henry County fluttered its way into our little house.

Nights of thunder and wind
made my heart pound to pieces
and spark a fascination with the dangers of the heartland.

Growing up in the country
was a crimson struggle of whits and tears
but I will always cherish the beauty of my childhood home.

Writing About My Childhood: Bad vs. Good

I am writing my butt off and making some serious progress on my poetry book. I am really excited to see what comes of this.

The first section of my poetry book is about my childhood and I’m finding it really challenging balancing the bad with the good. 

I grew up in a conservative rural area — heavily Christian and sort of stuck in time. My family stuck out like a sore thumb. I was raised by a single dad who was not conservative at all. I had big dreams and my dad was always supportive. It was everyone else I had to worry about. Knowing that I was leaving when I graduated high school is what got me through some rough times. 

Many of my poems have the usual small-town complaints. I know many people will relate to that. However, the countryside was always beautiful and I had some really nice experiences there with my family. Our little house was in the middle of nowhere with an endless horizon. I loved watching storms approach from miles away. I loved watching the fields speckled with lightning bugs. I just don’t have that where I am now.

I cherish these memories but I know I was never meant to live in that area and I’m sure as hell not raising my family there. At the same time, it wasn’t all bad and I’m having trouble expressing that without sounding confusing. Thankfully I don’t turn in my final manuscript until December so I definitely have a little time to figure this out.

A Cute Poem for My Daughter

Twinkle

Call your child down from the sky –
she’s playing with the stars.
She hangs from the crescent moon
and gently blankets the earth in fog.
Descending, swaying
she returns to the ground
in a night owl’s feather
then looks up at you.
The stars have gathered in her eyes.
Never extinguish that brilliant twinkle.
Don’t let it fade with time.
That twinkle will open doors,
open hearts, open minds. 

 

Cheesy? Definitely. But I love how thinking about my daughter’s potential inspires so many of my poems. 🙂

My Little Girl’s Curls

The curls grew longer
Thicker
Escaping in the wind
She whispers to the dog next door
“I’ll be back tomorrow”
She likes her pizza
Sunnyside up
Her smile
To brighten the galaxy
Those curls never go far
Because they are apart
Of something radiant —
A little girl
With the future under her feet
She’ll walk a mile
Then sprint the rest
Curls tied tight to her skull

The Virus (Quarantine Poetry)

My tired brain smothered
By a winding list of precautions
Stare at the endless walls
Until we call it safe

One day we’ll step out the door
And put our arms
Around each other
But not anytime soon

Empty store shelves
Empty calendars
Empty feeling
In my calloused gut

Six feet to sanity
Masks and gloves
That collect in the trash
Comfort our fear

Sanitize my driving forces
I’m one woman alone
On a welcoming portal
Connected to the world

The clock ticks on
The moon rises behind clouds
Darkness blankets the city
But the sun will rise again

A virus invades
The bodies and minds
Of this aching planet
But solidarity is contagious

One humanity
Against the sickness
One fierce and hopeful fight
Will save of all

We’re in this together

Dark Clouds Over Toledo

Dark Clouds Over Toledo

 

The topic of conversation
Most days
The forecast throws us a lifeline
We feel the extremes
But still, make it through
Low rumbles in the distance
Soon leave us drenched and cold
Our wind-swept brains
Are exhausted
We retreat indoors
And wait for a peek of the sun

A Poem About Why I Vote

A New War

My fingertips are tattered
from the artillery of a new war.
Secrets don’t exist;
tomorrow is a gamble.

A celebration laid to rest
in the confines of my brain.
I’ll jump on the bandwagon of desperation
because it takes a village to dig out of this hole. 

No options in my fragile reality —
barely exist or die in the machine.
One fading chance for a stable future;
I jump headfirst into a shot at equality.

Let exhaustion fire the first bullet —
one last push for us all.
In a cold world made for just a few,
the masses will rise.

 

Let’s Revolt

In the Quiet of the Snow

In the quiet of the snow
Tears are stiff and frozen
No longer bleeding down her face.

In the quiet of the snow
Her painful secrets now exposed
And the conditions of your love revealed.

In the quiet of the snow
You left her all alone
The heavy flakes now resting on her shoulders.

In the quiet of the snow
She learns to stand on her own.
A world of warmth awaits her.

In the quiet of the snow
Your tiny world caves in
Weighed down by fairytales and shame.

In the quiet of the snow
Her passion stokes the fire
Illuminating the revolution within our reach.