It’s “mother’s day”. Yet another manufactured holiday, and yet another manufactured holiday I loathe. I wrote all the reasons last year, and I don’t feel like rehashing it all again, I have art in my head, and want to run off with it today, so here’s what I have to say about this day: https://proxy.freethought.online/affinity/2017/05/14/mums-day/
Is that one of the tulips Rick gave you? It is lovely. *totally ignore Mother’s Day here*
Yes, it is, and I love the colours! :)
Oh yes fuck.
I got flowers (I totally didn’t pick them in somebody else’s garden) and a pic made in school from the little one. And I appreciate her care. But Mother’s Day can go die in a fire.
I started hating Mother’s Day the first year after my mom died. Seven years later I still get a pang when some talking head says “Don’t forget to call your mother!” during the week of MD.
Giliell:
Right there with you.
Don:
Oh, I am so sorry, Don. No one needs such pain, and I thank you for bringing up another very important aspect of this awful “holiday”. I wish you good remembrances this week.
You know, I wouldn’t mind those “holidays” if they wouldn’t come with the implicit assumptions about the Right way to be, have a family, whatever.
I’m totally OK with the idea that sometimes your feelings will be hurt because life isn’t fair. Somebody happily announcing their wedding or pregnancy and so on can be deeply hurtful to people who want these things but don’t have, and you have to deal with it. The problem is that these fucking days rub it into your face
Don that is one of the reasons I hate Mother’s day, my mum died when I was twenty, so I’ve had a lot of missing her. She never went for it any way, said she’d far rather we bought her flowers some other time when the prices weren’t jacked up for the ‘special’ day, and they’d be a far better present if she wasn’t expecting them (not that she was because, well you see her point). A practical woman my mum.
It’s worse than it was too, over here at least, because we get our Mother’s Day in March then we get your Mother’s Day in May, two chances to be pissed off.
Thanks, Caine. The first year, MD came only three months after her death, so things were still pretty raw. It’s over seven years now so not so much, but still…
Giliell: exactly. “Everybody has a mother! Go out for a nice dinner!” Bleh.
Giliell:
Yes, they do, and that was (and is) one of my major problems with it, expressed in last year’s post. I have no reason whatsoever to “celebrate” this holiday. I’d rather not remember my mother at all. I do not need bullshit from other people, who just assume that everyone feels the way they do about dear old mum.
I used to have a friend who bugged me no end about this, always saying “but she’s your mother!” Yeah, she birthed me. That’s not something to celebrate, either, given the hell my life was for many decades. Families are all different, they don’t fit when you try to cram them into a “one size fits all” holiday.
Yeah, I mean, what am I supposed to celebrate exactly? The couple of years of therapy I needed to learn how to deal with her abuse?
Or the wonderful mother daughter day when they had to tie her to the bed and I sat there repeatedly covering her nether regions so she’d have a shred of dignity left?
I have very complicated feelings about my mother.
Thankfully Mother’s Day has been a no go in my family since the Nazis made it big so I’m not expected to show some performative gratitude.
Had a conversation with Husband yesterday after watching one of those sappy public-person how-much-I-love-my-mum commercials they run this time of year. “I keep being surprised by men that age still having a mum to call.” Followed by a comment about his youngest brother, who was only 18 when their mum died.
We went to see the motocross Latvian championship, lots of manly men riding bikes through dirt, and no one mentioned any mothers. It was nice (besides the kids getting annoying, haha). I did get commemorative gifts from them (a portrait, a card, some art) but there was no concerted effort. Plus it was 28 degrees.
Ooh, my personal fav this year was “Mum is everyone’s favourite person and here’s why!” Did not read. Also “Things you should never say to your mum”. Yeah…