You know what you did…

So what is it?

it’s been a weird and difficult year, but before we hit January 1st & everyone starts talking about what you’re certainly going to do this next year, let’s take a minute to contemplate what we did this past year.

Did you beat cancer into remission? Introduce your kids to your favorite hiking trail? Read an excellent book? Finish a degree? Reorganize that closet so you can actually find the things you need when you need them? Actually get a picture of that rare bird you see two or three times per year, but only when you don’t have your camera?

We’ve all complained about 2020, but a year is a long time. I know everyone has done things that they are proud or happy to have accomplished. I know that I’m happy to have been a part of the protests in Portland. I have deep roots there and what happens in Oregon generally and Portland specifically matters to me. Barriers related to disability can get in the way of getting a lot of things done, and when the new wave of protests began in the aftermath of the murders of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, I wished I could do more. But I wasn’t really doing much.

Then things continued to get worse, and suddenly I found it in me: I did do more, for three hard weeks. It required help from a number of people (thank you all!) but I was able to maintain a presence there for a crucial period of time. And that mattered. Whatever else I did or didn’t do, I can say that I am both proud and happy that in 2020 I did that.

So, what did you do this year?

BFF’s mom has died

You might have read the other day that my BFF had to take off in an emergency kind of way to rush back east because her mom who had been ill and was probably going to be moved to hospice soon suddenly came down with an infectious respiratory disease and the docs weren’t sure if she would last the 10 days until BFF’s scheduled trip, or even 24 hours.

BFF’sM lasted almost a whole week, long enough for BFF to get back home and visit with her. At her most alert she only opened a single eye for just a short time, and gave BFF a hand squeeze, but she was made comfortable and she had her family about her. It was wonderful for BFF that she was able to change her flight plans & make it home with 36 hours to spare before that last time her mother opened an eye and was able to look at her.

It’s sad, of course. But there were so many things about her that I loved. There are, of course, too many to list here, but the one that makes me smile most is that she became an outspoken advocate for women her age sexually objectifying the asses of the hot, lycra-clad Tour de France riders every June. She also would attend MLS games & ogle the players.

There was something delightful about a white-haired New England church lady and school marm (she was a teacher for over 40 years) waxing enthusiastic about how TV was showing off hot man ass for a month a year now. So if you feel touched by anything I’ve written about her, past or present, you could do something nice for your library as she often did, or you could just go look at the hot man asses of professional cyclists for a few minutes & know that she would approve.

Today’s Heartwarming Hospice Story

Okay, here it is:

Two people, one twenties or thirties, one preschool age, sit in a waiting area in the hospice. There is silence for several minutes. Both are deep in thought.
Preschooler: Is butter lettuce vegan?
Twenties or Thirties: Yes.
Both return to deep thought, and the waiting area is quiet again.

In case you’re curious about whether BFF had a chance to comfort her mom, the answer was no yesterday, mom was unresponsive all day. But today I got this text from BFF:

[Sibling] and I just visited her. She was asleep. Once she squeezed my hand, once she opened one eye. I brought stuff from her apartment that she isn’t going to appreciate, but I do.

Rage, says BFF, because it feels necessary. But it is likely the quiet gentleness that we will both remember.

 

 

We Have No Idea What The FUCK You’re On About, Texas, But Alito & Thomas Have THOUGHTS Anyway

The State of Texas’s motion for leave to file a bill of complaint is denied for lack of standing under Article III of the Constitution. Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.

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A Story What Is Crucial To Your Existence

Okay so I have a bunch of Peace Corps friendly non-friends, which is weird because I never did peace corps, but my oldest friend did and I met a bunch of Peace Corps hippies while working in a museum ages ago.

So these Peace Corps hippies (and, bizarrely, a couple Peace Corps capitalists? What’s up with them? How did they get in to the PC in the first place? Perhaps we shall find out in this story?) all still talk to each other, even though they worked in different places around the world. So one of these folks, who is still good friends with my oldest friend and entrée into the Peace Corps circle, lives in Brazil of all places, not even where he did his Peace Corps work, although I will concede that his Peace Corps work was in one of the South Americas in a country whose name starts with B, so probably no real difference, right? (No, it is not Buriname, but that’s all I’m saying. I’m protecting the poor country’s anonymity for a reason.)

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Pervert Puns for Justice

On my last post reader lumipuma was surprised to hear I had conceived of my blog’s title as a pun, and wrote this comment:

This blog’s name is a pun? Now I’m slightly perplexed on why you’d want to pervert justice, in addition to just wanting pervert justice.

I had always assumed the verb/noun pun was apparent, but as it is not, Lumipuma deserves a serious answer to what is a serious question.

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This escapes me

So, far be it from me to diss the consensual kink people get up to. And sure, I’ve done a little light bondage from time to time. Zero wrong with that. Butt stuff? Of course! I think every bit of skin is beautiful and every nerve ending deserves some positive stimulation every once in a while. I mean, there are some reasons beyond just “change current legal thinking about what constitutes an acceptable outcome” that I named this blog “Pervert Justice”. But this particular contraption has me a bit bewildered:

The short chain connecting a pair of stainless steel handcuffs is further connected by another steel chain to a butt plug with an external steel loop.

Hand cuffs & butt plugs & steel chain, oh, my!

In my experience, which admittedly is only mine, sexual bondage presumes that the person bound will struggle against their restraints a bit. Otherwise one could simply voluntarily remain motionless and the bondage would be entirely unnecessary. Seen this way, anchoring the cuffs to, say, a bed frame makes perfect sense. The bed is too large for a person to move by themselves, especially if they’re on it.

And the butt plug, well, if your hands are cuffed, you can’t take it out, right? If someone inserts it into your body, well, you’re just helpless to resist it, what with the handcuffs and all. There are a large number of people who want to do kinky shit, but are afraid of feeling guilty about it afterward (or during). Being tied up or cuffed so that you just can’t stop your lover from doing exactly what you want them to do is part of why light bondage is so popular. You get what you want & you don’t have to feel guilty, because after all you were handcuffed! You couldn’t possibly have removed that butt plug!

Now of course this is a transparent conceit – not only to others, but even to the person using it. Nevertheless, its clear from many, many stories that engaging in ritualized, consensual bondage, even when explicitly negotiated before hand, or even when requested by the person later bound, can and does reduce feelings of conflict & guilt and allows people to enjoy sex that they do want to have, but that they have been taught is wrong.

So I get it! This isn’t what ties me in knots.

The mystery for me is that in this case the handcuffs are not being attached to something large and immobile. And that butt plug you can’t reach with your hands restrained? Well, now you have a chain that goes directly between the plug and your hands to make sure you have a chance to pop it free even while restrained. And once it pops free, then your hands are more mobile than before. Earlier there was the vague restriction on motion provided by a plug that could certainly have wiggled around and streched against its confines while in your ass. After the plug pops free, that vague restriction is substantially lessened. You’re still cuffed, but as a security measure, as a binding measure, it’s doomed to failure.

So… what is the appeal? I’m sure this is some. I’m sure many people think this is fun or hot or whatever. But I’m completely at a loss as to what that appeal is, since it uses the implements of bondage and the implements of forbidden sex, but then hands control right back to the person bound.

There are lots of sex questions I can answer, but this one escapes me.