A Win For The Bravest Girl In Rhode Island

There was never a question
No slightest suggestion
That Jessica would not prevail
The Cranston West banner
In no form or manner
Was legal, or so goes the tale.
The Judge has decided;
The school has been chided—
The ruling: It must be removed!
It’s great! Well, it ain’t if
You’re not with the Plaintiff
But only the wrong disapproved!
As a matter of prudence
It’s worth telling students
That Jessica’s view is the law
And I’m sure that they’ll cope,
But in truth, it’s my hope
That they see what Jessica saw

Via Ophelia and PZ, Jessica Ahlquist has prevailed! No great surprise–we knew she was on the side of right. We knew there were idiots massing against her. But frankly, it’s easy being the people watching from the sidelines. As much as we knew the outcome, it can’t have been easy being Jessica.

I know there have been other contests, but Jessica Ahlquist gets my nod for person of the year. Not just atheist of the year, let alone female atheist of the year. Person of the year. I (vaguely–I’m old) remember being that age. Jessica is braver than I have ever been. My hat is off to her!

Yeah, But What About The Other Guys?

He helpfully points
To the cracks in the joints–
You will give them attention, he’s hopin’
That should cut down the breeze
Unless nobody sees
He’s conveniently propped the door open.
There’s a draft in the room
But he’d rather assume
That the open door isn’t the cause
Just attend to a crack,
Cos he’s coming right back
With an armfull of hole-cutting saws.
[Read more…]

Thinking Like Jim West

Without a bit of irony (it was subtle–I had to read quite a bit more of his blog to decide he was serious)…

Thinking Like an Atheist

30DEC

In three easy steps:

1-  Lump all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collective.
2- When one or a tiny minority of the collective does something stupid- attribute that stupidity to all.
3- Mock the entirety of Christianity.

Like this chap has done-

So, if Christians were actually lame and unintelligent enough to adopt atheistic reasoning we could

1- Hear of some atheist or atheists who were child molesters.
2- Denounce all atheists as child molesters, since they all clearly share the same exact mentality.
3- And mock all of atheism.

Except Christians are too smart to act that way. It’s a shame that the ‘reason exalting’ atheists exemplified by the clearly angry atheist lad above in his feckless ‘tweet’ aren’t as smart.

On the other hand, it could have gone:
1- read one atheist’s twitter admonition to some Christians making threats of violence.
2- denounce all atheists as “Lump[ing] all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collection”
3- and mock all of atheism.

Now, I know full well that not all Christians think that way.

But I know one who does.

Biblical Inerrancy

Science and the Bible, any fool can plainly see,
Are always in agreement, save for when they disagree.
There are, rarely, those occasions when they don’t see eye to eye—
Such that one must be a metaphor, or parable, or lie,
Or a plain misunderstanding of the meaning of God’s Word;
Cos to think that it’s inaccurate, of course, would be absurd.

The Bible is inerrant; every word of it is true,
Any misinterpretation is the fault of me and you
It’s a perfect single textbook, and the only one on earth,
It’s the story of our planet, and it really shows its worth
On those very rare occasions when the two don’t get along
You can bet your bottom dollar, it’s reality that’s wrong.

Context and amusing stuff, after the jump: [Read more…]

It *Is* A Wonderful Life

I read it in the news, today,
And thought it rather odd:
“The world would be much better
If we all believed in God”

The heart of Christian charity
Depends on our belief;
It’s love of God that separates
The giver from the thief

Our movies and our novels serve
To highlight this conviction;
Though just like Aesop’s fables, they
Are moralistic fiction

The books about morality
Have overflowed the shelves
They show the hell that comes of people
Thinking for themselves.

Belief is what determines
How the common man behaves;
And everything goes smoothly
When we’re willing, happy slaves.

A bit more, after the jump: [Read more…]

Assuming God Exists…

Let’s assume, for the moment, God loves us.
Let’s assume, for the moment, He’s real.
Let’s assume that He helps us fight Satan,
And He answers our prayers when we kneel.
Let’s assume that His power is infinite
Let’s assume that we bask in His glow
Let’s assume he’s beyond our perception…
Then tell me… just how do we know?

Let’s assume God keeps holding back earthquakes
Let’s assume He is calming the storm
Let’s assume that without Him, the devil
Can cause one, then another, to form
Let’s assume we would all die of cancer
Were it not for God keeping us well
Let’s assume we’d be worse off without Him
Now, tell me… just how can we tell?

Let’s assume God is here, all around us
Let’s assume He’s an infinite force
Let’s assume there is nowhere without Him
Let’s assume as a matter of course.
Let’s assume He’s in each observation
There’s no place without Him, to compare
Tell me, how could a human discern this
From a God who is simply not there?

Musing just a bit, after the jump: [Read more…]

Take A Number

If you don’t like what I have to say: take a number, get in line and kiss my ass.–Christopher Hitchens

He was cynical and venomous, and famously uncouth;
He refused the path to heaven—ah, but now he knows the truth!
I can only hope he saw the light, before he had to pass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

So beloved an opponent, when we met in fierce debate;
He was far, far, too intelligent to meet a heathen’s fate!
Now he’s hectoring Saint Peter, cos Hitch had balls of brass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

He was secretly a Christian, in his hidden heart of hearts
You could see it in his essence, which was greater than its parts
Like the picture that emerges from the fragments of stained glass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

In his essays and his arguments, he always held out hope
Which confirms his similarity to Christians like the pope
If he weren’t so gosh-darned stubborn, we’d have seen him there at Mass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

Is it really so impossible to think, perhaps, he died
Without ever seeking Jesus—no, not even “deep inside”?
He expressed it for himself, you know—like this, succinct and crass:
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.

Context

Why Brother Smoggy Is A Christian (A Guest Post)

I am delighted to share with you a guest post by friend of good people everywhere Smoggy Batzrubble, beloved of all, member of the Order of the Molly on Pharyngula. Smoggy did send this to PZ for his “Why I am an atheist” series, but since that gives it a less than 1% chance of being posted by Christmas, and since it contains a Christmas poem by Smoggy, I am performing the public service of expediting the delivery of high art. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
****************************************************
Why I am a Christian, A Conversation with Jesus
Transcribed by Smoggy Batzrubble

(With a Bonus Christmas Rhyme)

Smoggy Batzrubble: Dear Jesus?

Jesus Christ: [sigh] Yes, servant Smoggy?

SB: Dear Jesus, those Hell-bound atheists are baring their tormented
souls on the evil Pharyngula blog, blathering on the theme of ‘Why I
am An Atheist’ to justify their pointless existences and pretend
they’re not terrified of the eternal damnation which awaits them.

JC: And?

SB: And? And… and… and it’s not good enough Jesus! What if some
impressionable young believer gets whiff of the heady haze of heresy
and starts thinking rational thoughts? Can you imagine a world with no
religion, no heaven, no hell below, above us only sky?

JC: Careful Smoggy, you’re getting lyrical. (continues after jump) [Read more…]

Theist Tropes We Can Do Without

Hey, it’s only fair. We’ve got a ton of the tropes we atheists can’t stand; can we put ourselves in the other person’s sandals for a bit and list some of the tropes that go the other way? In this, I’m going to accept any that apply to any religion, cos otherwise we’d have hundreds of posts collecting Catholic tropes, Southern Baptist tropes, Mormon tropes, Shia trope, Sunni tropes, Reform Judaism tropes, Seventh Day Adventists tropes, Wiccan tropes, Hindu tropes, Shinto tropes… you get the picture. So for purposes of commenting here, we may treat all believers alike. (continues after the jump:) [Read more…]

Atheist Tropes We Can Do Without

What with the death of Christopher Hitchens on the front page of pretty much every news outlet in the world, the comments are full of people’s opinions about atheism and atheists. In the spirit of Shakesville, asking the question “Which film trope needs to go away forever?” (somebody quoted me there, which is how I saw it), I want to know which atheist tropes need to take a dirt nap.

I’ll start (thus snagging the easy ones): Inflamed hemorrhoid and commenter “Art Aficionado”, on NPR, on his third comment in the first eight on Barbara Bradley Hagerty’s piece on Hitchens (seriously, NPR, BBH? Were all the interns gone on college break?) writes “I can’t help but wonder if Mr. Hitchens prayed to God in his final moments. It’s very plausible.” He repeats this claim several times across the comments, in response to those who show him how unlikely this would be, and how irrelevant.

In the same thread, we see multiple commenters noting that Hitchens, despite Dinesh D’Souza’s (again, NPR, this is why BBH shouldn’t have been let near this piece) description of Hitch as “a happy atheist” (given D’Souza, this description made him stand out from other atheists), seemed to them to be bitter, unhappy, and angry. This trope imposes a personality on atheists that outshines any description or actual evidence of happiness, and it’s old, by this point.

Oh, but there are more! Another commenter pulls out the old favorite “atheism is like a religion in many ways.” In the same way that it is like peanut butter, or b-flat, or fuzzy kittens, maybe—they are both nouns. Any way that atheism is like religion, that is not much more true of Manchester United fandom, is utterly irrelevant.

I could go on, but that would defeat the purpose. What atheist tropes can we bury in an unmarked grave in Potter’s Field?