Friends send me strange sex-related articles all the time. I probably should be concerned what this says about my interests and personality, but I’m more intrigued by the articles themselves. I always think to myself, “Wow, nothing can be stranger than this.” I’m usually wrong.
Latest example: The cutting edge in cookbooks, Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”
Uhhh…what a delicious looking…glaze?
…I think I suddenly became a vegetarian.
Goodbye, bad habit!
It’s officially the beginning of summer, which means I’m starting my “get back in shape and stop being a fatty routine.” I’m already off to a rough start, since I skipped going to the gym with my work out buddy this morning because I had a cold (I promise!). But I’ve already made an important step:
Eliminating pop* from my diet. Well, mostly.
I’m going back to my rule that I had freshman and sophomore year – I’m only allowed to drink pop on the weekends. This is the best compromise I can come up with for myself – I’m of the mindset that a complete ban on any type of food is doomed for misery and failure. Drinking pop is a horrible habit of mine, and I will easily drink multiple cans a day if it’s in my apartment. If I never buy it and limit myself to the drink only if I go out on the weekend, it helps so much. When I did this last time, I lost weight without exercising at all. Of course, now I’m over 21, so to counteract a new vice I’ll be working out a little (I really only have alcohol once or twice a week, though).
Hopefully by the end of the summer I’ll be a little healthier, and shed my Oh My God Winter Is Depressing Eat Lots of Junk Food pounds.
What are your bad food habits? Are you attempting to change them, or just relishing their deliciousness?
*Also known as soda, for you weird people who use the wrong slang.
Food snobbery
While I’m stuck on campus (or too lazy to walk home), I’ll often grab lunch at the HTM Cafe. It’s a training place for students in Hotel & Tourism Management, with food that’s a bit better than cafeteria quality, but slightly overpriced for convenience. Most of the times it falls into the category of “good enough,” but occasionally you get something really yummy.
I walked in today, and happily saw that the theme was Greek food! I was studying the menu when one of the older supervisors happily started talking to me.
Him: You want some delicious roast chicken or gyros? We’ll put it on a pita with some lemon rice, tomatoes, onions, and tzatziki sauce. You know what tzatziki sauce is?
Me: Yeah, I’m half Greek.
Him: Oh, then you won’t be having the gyros then.
Oh my god, someone who finally understands.
Gyros are okay, but as a Greek, I feel dirty choosing them over another Greek option, even if they’re from a random Purdue cafe and nothing is going to be very authentic (by the way, the chicken was yummy). They’re like the hot dog of Greek food, and seeing them shaved off a giant cone of meat product disgusts me. Whenever I go to a Greekfest and I see someone choosing that over souvlakia or pastichio or moussaka, I want to go over and shake them. And if they pronounce it “Jie-Roe” I will likely punch them in the face.
*deep breath*
Of course, I’m sure not every Greek person like me is a total food snob. I just have a vendetta against gyros, since your average non-Greek thinks that’s the most iconic Greek food ever. Though there’s other food I’m snobby about for different reasons. I will never order or attempt to make fettucini alfredo. I ate it in Alfredo’s in Rome, where it was invented, and nothing else will ever compare to that pure deliciousness. I avoid eating it to keep myself from being constantly disappointed.
Is there any food you’re snobby about? Is it because of some ethnic rage like me, or for other reasons?